This Is Life .

[KProp]

Imagine you could hear every single noise, every single person and listen to every single animal's thoughts in your country. Pretty loud, huh? Focus on every single noise at once. Pretty tricky. Now, imagine hearing every single noise in the entire world, and focus on every sound, thought, song at once.
What you'll hear will deafen you within seconds.
Now try and listen to every sound in the universe - supernovas and explosions, collisions and possible life elsewhere. This won't just deafen you, it'll drive you insane.

Now for every sound, attach an image. Don't just watch everyone's life stories, but understand them, too. imagine being stood in a meadow and throwing your head back in the blazing sun and suddenly seeing the world from 360 degrees, seeing everything going on around you. Imagine being able to focus on everything at once. This is life. Too impossible to focus on, deafening and insane. Yet it's beautiful.

[[k]onquerer]

[JustJoe]

Theres an interesting thought..and a nice piece of writing..dont know if id call it a short story though.

[KProp]

im new to this shit, dont really know where I couldve of put it, but thank you for the compliment : )

[[k]onquerer]

I know where you couldve put it ; )

[Kates]

This is wierd, but in a real good way. I think I like it

[I.M.C]

hmm, very thought provoking, yeah this was ok ... I've never ventured into this forum before so I'm not going to critique.

but yeh, I like it.

[JSED]

nice

[will56]

I know where you couldve put it ; )

[QwarterZ]

This was pulled off nicely, a lot of deep thoughts
yet, very short, when I read a piece like this it makes me want to read more
although it's called short stories, you should revamp this and write more ya dig

[FreshADiddle]

reminds me of George Clooney's "backpack" motivational lecture in Up In The Air.......

or the scene where Jim Carey has to answer prayers in whatever that movie was where he switched places with god (Morgan Freeman).

seems more like a thought than a short story....where's the plot? who are the characters? what is the conflict? the resolution?

Perhaps this idea would be well played in the form of poetry instead of short story?

[Fluentt]

Weird :hosea:

[C#]

Bizarre. Introspective. Thought-provocative. Good indications for a short piece.

Could use a bit longer in duration though; the short story was a tad too short for me. I had a feeling for it to continue, but it abruptly stopped after two paragraphs.

[Moonkloud]

I really like this piece.

Your using the audiancees imagination and really painting a picture. I enjoyed how it read as well..

Keep getting up !

[Scripter]

I thought it was okay but yeah its a slap in the face of the people who take the time to think things out in a artist way for example

I know where you couldve put it ; )

I would say it could be a form of abstract writting/art
I would have to say that it does make you think and I am sure I am not alone when I say that I have thought about this myself before except wondering what it would be like to endure the worlds pains rather than thoughts, in this way I think you have a good plot but artistically speaking it could of been structured better with a little more time and effort. You did say you were new to this, so I think you are off to a great start keep it up I would like to see more.