Screaming Lizards

[Puncha Blurta]

Screaming at her leering lizard,
Her barbed wire eye lashes fluttered,
Batted,
and bats really did emerge

Her lizard loves it when she's livid,
He fires his tongue at mammals birds
Gulps,
and swings his lengthy tail towards hers

She catches his and tears it off,
Swallows it and swears to Gods
She'll kill her leering lizard
if she doesn't kiss him first

Murder is a sweet aroma
Mildew in it's finest hour
Malignant time will break...
With juices on your face

Glowing green and dripping purple
Bodies twist and burn and shatter,
Leaving pink stains around a sky line
made of pain

Time and time again this scene
Repeats itself with no emotion,
Looping anger never spoken
just actions aimed at ending fate

Dreaming screams increase in volume
Lizard shadows remain a problem
Ejaculate
and wake

Smash a face
and break








__________________
this was a reply to a challenge to write a Hate poem of at least 30 lines, no The, no You, no Dark, no Crude and no Hate <-- but with the words Green, Purple and Pink in play and ending in a couplet.
I used your and their, think I can get away with that...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...17#post7465817

[Rivalyn]

OMFG, dopest poetry peice i ever seen from you, the imagery was straight sick, metas were in there too.....i visioned every bit of the piece and broken down in my perpsective...

Favorite Lines:

She catches his and tears it off,
Swallows it and swears to Gods
She'll kill her leering lizard
if she doesn't kiss him first

Time and time again this scene
Repeats itself with no emotion,
Looping anger never spoken
just actions aimed at ending fate

Dreaming screams increase in volume
Lizard shadows remain a problem
Ejaculate
and wake

Smash a face
and break


Felt these lines most bro..dope imagery..sick.sick..sick....poetry is your thing...and imma have to give this a HOF nomination, just for the creative imagery.

Props

[Puncha Blurta]

lol, thanks a lot Rival, glad U enjoyed it man.. dopest ever, lmfao, U only read like 2 or 3 hahaha but naw appreciate it

here's my links

run on, run-on.. - atti?

Insecurity Loved Suicide - The Saint

[felodese]

"She catches his and tears it off,
Swallows it and swears to Gods
She'll kill her leering lizard
if she doesn't kiss him first"
^ loved this part
the whole thing plays out well, the imagery was the best part in here in every stanza right from the first.
I also love the first stanza, it pulled me in right away and i found myself picturing this woman in all her rage.
good choice in your descriptive words as well
props on the hof nomination

[Puncha Blurta]

bumping back to page1

[Topic]

This was pretty entertaining. I got into it. The couplet at the end was pretty nice. Not a lot I can say to tell you where to improve it at because of the restrictions. Well I guess you could have used the colors in a more creative way. seems like they were just put there to meet the challenge guidelines. Like maybe spreading them out. I'm not really sure. But overall I thought this was pretty decent.

[Chuck Diesel]

word this was pretty sick mang. well written, you definitely have a good grasp on portraying exactly what it is you want to say. the imagery was there. i almost got lost in the flow of it.. started reading it too fast instead of slowing down and picking up on everything that was said.. that could just be cause its 6:00 am and i havent got to sleep yet.. but word good read mang

[AweShucks.]

She catches his and tears it off,
Swallows it and swears to Gods
She'll kill her leering lizard
if she doesn't kiss him first

^^ this is where it got interesting for me, at first it was ehh . . but i kept reading and this piece was dope puncha. You deffinetely got a thing for poetry ; keep at it .
Imagery was all there, cool shit .

[Thugasaurus]

She catches his and tears it off,
Swallows it and swears to Gods
She'll kill her leering lizard
if she doesn't kiss him first

I liked that stanza the best I think. Overall it was enjoyable, I was kinda thrown off by what appeared to be an on and off rhyme scheme, but maybe the rhymes weren't intended at all. either way I enjoyed reading, thanks.

Hit this up...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...567/index.html

[Advantage]

She catches his and tears it off,
Swallows it and swears to Gods
She'll kill her leering lizard
if she doesn't kiss him first

Murder is a sweet aroma
Mildew in it's finest hour
Malignant time will break...
With juices on your face


pretty tight with words and imagery puncha, seeing this piece is mostly quatrain *my favorite when reading poetry stanzas* i liked this