Cancerous Minds: 8th Plague

[Rivalyn]

Cancerous Minds: 8th Plague
By: Rivalyn(1), Vitalsyn(2), & Erun(3)


Defies Greats, Shackled in chains, a beast that guides threw
mentally eat yourself, born beast laying dormant inside you
murders for fun, & piercing threw veins, beating you, all flat
I wish I lived in a world where i can Kill you;..Off eye contact
Rise to Be; propects Pay me, Try your best;& Still cant slay me
create a navy With mach-5's to Destroy a hospital;full of babies
far from lazy, A soul thats demonic,Close to satans stats
When in the zone, I lose my mind. Lucifer Couldnt Hold me back
far from wack, Me & the crew sit back in the cut;.scouting for sluts
44's & 45's in each hand so try & stop our shine and your fucked
irrelevent Intricates get stuck, but the 8th's on a constant slaughter
you beleive in god & cinder block shoes; Lets see you walk on water
ducktape your daughter, clowns deprive you; vacate your town
Tellin 8th Im crazy; Shoot your dick off and Have you Pe' sittin down
eyes of a manic, thoughts of Aggression, Your head?; I'll peal It
countrys that tried to Hate me/Haiti; I created a quake to feel It
I advise you take a bombard trip, and give the stage some space
& if you happen to make it past the 7 plagues..you'll die by the 8th



Grab the scalpel, crack my snapple, we'll continue proceeding,
& cut through the infant so fast, taking minutes for bleeding..
New off the block, just came around, 8th is new & replenished,
Here to eat up the bitches, Riv & Spit didn't completely finish..
Closer than a mothers care, turning up as almost brothers,
Taking baths inside the blood of Foes we've emptied & smothered..
Imprison fools, & kill em too.. Hold them hostage to commit,
With starvation as comedy, drinking blood from writs we've slit
We're here to stay, so back away, & its time for a controller,
Fuck all the other Plagues spreading, 8th's already takin' over..
We hate the world, & all the haters, plus it's not a suprise,
People cry when others pass, we cry from laughter when they die
We're sick as cancer, with no answer, & we never play around
Keepin' the murdered in the house so people always hangin' out..
all dumb as hell, & lately 8ths got me thinkin' killins funny,
We dont think, we cut scapls & get more brain than anybody..
Easy to us, it's always nothing, plus were always abuser,
I just killed & ate my whole fam, so now I'm off the computer..


Most killers clip cabbages. I split, slice, and savor
Spill a bitch for the thrill of it when she's in labor
It's a natural ability instilled in me by age of 3
To sever limbs whether or not you enrage me
Twisted thoughts turning into listless plots
Jaded by corpses, I kid you not I witness lots
Clips and bullets never appealed to me for death
Knives peel quietly to capture tremblin breaths
One thousand paper cuts applied to chest n back
Put hands in vice grips; watch them twist n crack
Violence will silence this hunger surgin through me
The 8th plague will help me dismantle yours truly
A pool of blood, fuck it make it a lake or two
Tell that bitch mother of yours to pray for you
She’s next so tell me who’s gonna kneel for her?
I will, just to watch her die till her view is blurred
Tilt of head, black mask, watch the eyes pull you in
As I stick the blade past your lungs, gums n tongue
From beneath your chin.


8th Plague....

[Vitalsyn]

oh shit. lol. let's get some feed please. good shit erun and riv.

[Rivalyn]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...248/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...250/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...250/index.html

[Rivalyn]

I know its long, but dont sleep on it.

[Tim]

This is long as fuck lol, but ill tell you what I thought about it....

It was dope not just because i am apart of the crew but because these three dudes came together and did well. Each one of you brought something dynamic to the table. I liked Rivs vibe and feel to it....Axe brought a creative lvl to it....and erun brought some dope emotion. Just need all three of you to combine more of what you were lacking in the other areas and this would be on some next level shit. Sick dark demonic stuff guys and i love it alot lol. For future collabs i say to drop the line limit, because people will not bother to peep it if its to long.

[Rivalyn]

Thanks alot fam. I dint notice how long it was, Until after we finished.

[Puncha Blurta]

errelevent Intricates get stuck, but the 8th's on a constant slaughter
you beleive in god & cinder block shoes; Lets see you walk on water


Imprison fools, & kill em too.. Hold them hostage to commit,
With starvation as comedy, drinking blood from writs we've slit
all dumb as hell, & lately 8ths got me thinkin' killins funny,
We dont think, we cut scapls & get more brain than anybody..


Most killers clip cabbages. I split, slice, and savor
Spill a bitch for the thrill of it when she's in labor
The 8th plague will help me dismantle yours truly
A pool of blood, fuck it make it a lake or two



there's a few words that I think could describe these verse, the best one being RAW
seriously dope, all dropped fire. HOF much? maybe, the only thing I think it needs is maybe a hook inbetween the verses and then a spin on that to close it off, maybe as an intro too
fuckin dirty though, heavy stuff, 8th Plague goin wild like yeaaah

[Rivalyn]

Thanks.

[Poncho Face]

Damn definitely some sick shit, as expected from 8th Plague. Just as Tim had said, each verse brought a differant element to the table, overall dope though. It was fckin long bitch to read, but this could definitely be a audio piece if it was shorter and with a hook n chorus. Shit was grimy, and had a hostel vibe going with it, like damn these niggas dont give a fuck, "grab my scalpal, crack a snapple" haha.

Im sittin here wonderin why I didnt get on that..haha, but yeah, guess that might kill my chances for OM of the Month, not like im getting a lot of feed on it anyway..lol keep doing what youre doin fam.

[StaCC]

this shit is dope yo

[Bounce]

I'm rather familiar with dark writing, it is one of my specialties, so I am critical when it comes to feeding such a piece.

1st verse was lacking in several areas, much of what I read came off as forced in areas. The scheme could have been thought out better, and the imagery was severely anemic. Predictable word choice, so this obvious brought the diction down. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the read bro, but I can see where you need to elevate. I was bombarded with random phrases and less than startling imagery. You could have creep'd the shit out of the reader, but it missed in my opinion.

second verse was a bit better in terms of imagery, but I felt it did not come together as well as the next verse. The scheme improved but I feel better word choice and writing style could have been used here. again, I did enjoy reading, but as a dark writer at times myself, I have to keep it real.

Third verse was the best of the three for me. Not spectacular, but you pulled off the scheme well, this was the most fluid of the verses. The rhymes were thought out and and well placed. Imagery benefited from the fluid word choice, although diction could have had a harder impact, you pulled off the better verse. Dark, but not scary as you could have made this.

I think the fact that most people force dark themes and do not embrace the techniques that can help a piece settle into a persons mind, we lose scare factor.

overall cool read, I wouldn't mind writing something with you guys if you can pull off a dark verse that I could add my sttyle to. If you bring the skills guys, I will pen up some lines for it.

[Rivalyn]

Thanks bounce, We will be sure to work on it. Good feed my guy.

[The Nav Man™]

Rivalyn
Defies Greats, Shackled in chains, a beast that guides threw
mentally eat yourself, born beast laying dormant inside you
errelevent Intricates get stuck, but the 8th's on a constant slaughter
you beleive in god & cinder block shoes; Lets see you walk on water
I advise you take a bombard trip, and give the stage some space
& if you happen to make it past the 7 plagues..you'll die by the 8th
Axeman
New off the block, just came around, 8th is new & replenished,
Here to eat up the bitches, Riv & Spit didn't completely finish..
We hate the world, & all the haters, plus it's not a suprise,
People cry when others pass, we cry from laughter when they die
We're sick as cancer, with no answer, & we never play around
Keepin' the murdered in the house so people always hangin' out..
Erun
Twisted thoughts turning into listless plots
Jaded by corpses, I kid you not I witness lots
A pool of blood, fuck it make it a lake or two
Tell that bitch mother of yours to pray for you
Tilt of head, black mask, watch the eyes pull you in
As I stick the blade past your lungs, gums n tongue
From beneath your chin.

This was really cool. All 3 people brought a different type of writing somewhat. I got all of the lines from each person I like and bolded the bar from each person I liked the best. Real dope piece for sure. Good work guys.

Can you please leave some feed on our crews OM.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...229/index.html

[Rivalyn]

Up.

[Ink Poyzin]

sorry, riva. it took me longer then expected to drop feed on this. wife brought pizza home. i had to help her get the plates ready and shit.
well dudes i'ma do my thing with this feed.. this the best way i figured to break this down.. deal with it lol..

you started this off dope, riva. first bar was pretty dope. i liked the imagery...second bar was cool. in a world where i can kill you off eye contact.. man that would be some dope shit. i wont even mention who id start with first.. third bar was ok. it was pretty sick. 'full of babies'.. you really are one crazy ass fucker lol. sometimes i wonder about you bro.. the shit you be comin' up with. fourth bar this was cool.. i liked it as far as the self glory goes. fifth bar was eh. i thought you couldve thought of somethin' better there. nonetheless your reppin' your crew. i dont expect every line to be a hit. sixth bar was real creative i thought.. i cracked up.. lets see you walk on water lol. the seventh bar was dope as fuck.. 'shoot your dick off and have you pe sittin down'.. that shit was funny man. good shit. the eighth bar loved this wordplay.. very creative.. this last bar.. now this is whats up.. this was a great way to rep the crew. 'if you happen to make it past the 7 plagues, you'll die by the 8th'.. i'm feeling that.. dope.

i would say overall, riva.. well done man. the flow was on track.. smooth and easy read. it was interesting too.. full of some sick ideas. the fifth bar with the crew rep.. thought ya couldve been more creative with like the rest.

this second verse was dope too. really like the way you started off the first bar here, axe. the whole grab the scalpel crack my snapple.. sick bar altogether. the second bar flowed ok. was basically nothin' quotable though. this third bar... pretty sick man. i liked this one. 'taking baths inside the blood of foes we've emptied & smothered'.. i like sick-minded people. fourth bar was ok.. the whole drinkin blood from the wrists we've slit.. some vampire shit. fifth bar just some crew rep. the sixth bar was dope.. diggin the way you describe yall differences from everyone elses. this seventh bar was probably my favorite though.. very creative.. the hangin out with the dead bodies line.. lol good shit. the eighth bar i like how you flipped this. so many people use the 'brain' lines.. i hate them.. but you really worded this nice and i actually thought it was dope as fuck. the last bar eh. thought you couldve been creative with it.

to you, axe.. overall this was good too. the flow was on track also. sometimes i felt like you couldve been more creative with some of your bars.. the same way you were creative with some of the other ones.. using metaphors and shit.. the second bar for example.

last verse is on erun.. this was cool. bit different from the rest. i didnt find much quotables. however though the imagery in this verse was real fuckin' dope. i was talking to riva how im stuck on it. had everything broke down to 1 bar each.. i was stuck on yours because its different then the rest.. even i gave up.. i said fuck it and just did it this way.. but because its mostly imagery ill just say what part i liked the best in quotes ok. the rhymescheme was really dope here too. good shit..

Clips and bullets never appealed to me for death
Knives peel quietly to capture tremblin breaths

Tell that bitch mother of yours to pray for you
She’s next so tell me who’s gonna kneel for her?
I will, just to watch her die till her view is blurred
Tilt of head, black mask, watch the eyes pull you in
As I stick the blade past your lungs, gums n tongue
From beneath your chin.

i thought yall worked pretty good together. some bars couldve been more creative id say. it went good for the most part though. more on then off if you feel me. i really liked the switch in your style Erun. dope shit.. i never seen anything by you. not that i know of. i would like to see more though.. everybody was on track as far as r-schemes go. it was long but worth the read definitely... some nice metaphors, imagery and shit spread through it. ima HOF it.. definitely deserves it imo. it was good read dudes. pz.