rhyme schemes

[Iglosone]

Methods of madness, the way that I write
every day of my life, is depression and sadness
say what you like, but I flow regardless
composing bars hit with explosive charges,
life is cold and heartless, the hurt and the woe
friends turn into foes so I journal it know,
my war and my pain, there's a storm in my brain
wont conform to the plain, what's abnormal is sane
I was born into chains, an raised as a clone
it's more than just strange, with no face of my own
no oasis is shown, in the place that I roam
far astray from my home as I wait all alone
nobody's taking my throne, pray as you do
afraid of what's new, we hate the unknown
stay caged in the zoo for the jerks in their ties
serpents with lies and fucking work 'til you die
the American dream, full of sin as a whole
peer into your soul, not as clear as it seems
always been in the role as the pawn on the board
and I'm honestly bored, so I'm drawing my sword
I wont fall in accord, with the evil machine,
preaching it's schemes of the feeblest dreams,
and evil does seem, to grasp at the heart
trapped in the dark as I'm crafting this art
the path you embark in the life that you live
is drastic and sharp, wife or some kids
rich and or poor, thrive or unravel
live through the war, or die in the battle,
you fade into dust, pray if you must
but you'll fade into dust.. fade into dust




http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...693/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...661/index.html

[Raww-B]

I wont fall in accord, with the evil machine,
preaching it's schemes of the feeblest dreams

i like the concept of this bar, just it seems a little too forced.


overall this shit was hot.
great post

[sILLable]

horrible fucking feed back^^^^^...ill piece..ill drop real feed momentarily..im writing the crew mag right now.

[Damz]

say what you like, but I flow regardless
composing bars hit with explosive charges,
life is cold and heartless, the hurt and the woe
friends turn into foes so I journal it know,
my war and my pain, there's a storm in my brain
wont conform to the plain, what's abnormal is sane
I was born into chains, an raised as a clone
it's more than just strange, with no face of my own

May I say these bars, are amazing.
Igo. nice piece all around, my first time reading this I was ok,
Decent. I kinda thought the way the scheme worked made the flow off.
But at other times, I thought you tore shit up. I like the words in this,
Very original.

Feedback:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=416698