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Thread: Revolving Karma

  1. #1
    Newbie EliXiR's Avatar
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    Revolving Karma

    She glows in the dark and illuminates with blacklight
    Poisoning all her victims with the use of lipstick graphite
    An intoxicating scent is sending your nose an invite  
    To this diamond iced temptress who scars prey like frostbite

    Her Jet black hair can absorb the sun's yellow glare
    Drawin your eyes to stare at such veloptuos hardware
    Keeps up on the latest skincare and dresses fly in designer swimwear 
    Which will make any hetro want to tear into this encrypted software  

    So seductive as she walks in your immediate direction
    She got u thinkin like u tryin to solve a complex fraction
    Cruel intentions in the works, her body servin as distraction 
    Gets you weak in the knee's as if your shoes are losin traction 

    She begins to speak with an accent that sounds so Exotic   
    How can a simple hello make a man go full blown nuerotic
    But little do you know that your tropical princess is psyhcotic 
    Ms Marvel has more issues than your favorite X-Men comic

    You beginin to run game like your ballin for fame   
    Your flesh hard nail is takin aim at her sexy ass frame
    But before you lay claim, You ask her what to call her heavinly terrain   
    Baby girl  was quick to exclaim, "i knew you werent gonna remember my name?"

    AH SHIT!  Smooth operator got played on his own court
    All you can really do now is sit back and hear the report..... 
     
    "I Guess you can't remember that we hooked up last December?
    We Left the club 2gether & blazed up with your neighbor!  
    You pray to God that shorty won't flip and lose her temper
    But she smiles and mutters out, "Silly, my name is Amber
    !"

    You smile and give her a hug so shorty won't escape
    "Baby I'm sorry, I must've been in a drunken mental state"
    Can't really recall if this is the same girl you had rape
    But your hungry like a wolf and this chick's your dinnerplate

    Strollin to your crib with a bag of weed and some liqour
    Gonna get dimepiece fucked up so you can rip her and stick her 
    The gameplan is goin perfect since shorty's a light drinker
    Baby's headlights on your tongue and your fingers on her blinker  

    The night was amazin as you reminisce alone in bed
    A star studded performance from an AKA purebred 
    But while you had shorty spread you kept one thing unsaid
    Fact you came inside her shed without protectin your head

    Months have gone by and your healths been  slowly fadin
    Could be from all the girls you and your boy've been tradin
    HIV results are in and the info is what you've been dreadin
    90 seconds of pleasure are writing your stories final endin

    You get your neighbor on the phone to ask him some questions 
    Your sequesterin his responses about all the sexual sessions

    Response:
    "I told you what's up when we ran a train on that bitch
    You were drunk as shit and said it was coo long as u first pitch


    Yo boy caused damage for what he dropped in her package 
    You should of checked your baggage before diggin into that rotten cabbage

    Swimming through a river of emotions as your phone loudly rings
    Amber's on the other end waiting to display her true evil wings

    Amber:
    "I got a call from your boy regarding your positive flowchart      
    Just know it was this demon that gave you a poisoned blackheart"

    Phone clicks and all you hear is dial tone......

    Your stomach starts to churn with feelings of concern
    All your grimey affection finally made a lethal U-Turn
    The world will slowly turn as your insides start to burn
    But you alone will pour the ashes inside your self-closing urn  
    Last edited by EliXiR; December 5th, 2009 at 02:09 AM

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  2. #2
    Newbie EliXiR's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Newbie EliXiR's Avatar
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    Re: Revolving Karma

    Takin it to the top.......

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  4. #4
    Godwasheeeeeeeeeeeeere
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    Re: Revolving Karma

    ima say the length was lengthy, but to be honest homey ur ideas n concepts were dope, but at points it was really basic, n at other points u would use a multi for a bar which would at to ur flow then u wouldnt use multis for a few bars, all in all this was all a little back and forth to me. id say it was decent at best homey

  5. #5
    Newbie EliXiR's Avatar
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    Re: Revolving Karma

    Thanks for the feedback! I know it was a bit lengthy but wanted to capture a whole story. dont understand what u mean bout back and forth since I really never went back to to bring the story forward. Other than that, Keep'em comin fellas
    Last edited by EliXiR; December 5th, 2009 at 06:22 PM

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  6. #6
    Newbie EliXiR's Avatar
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    Re: Revolving Karma

    Holidays kept a MF busy. Come new years, it's on. 4 the time being, drop some love on this piece! Peace!

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