Messy vs Deadtwo [Topical]

[Messiah.]

Free Topic
Due - Tuesday at the latest.
House Rules.

[Messiah.]

Check and goodluck my friend.

[Deadtwo]

check. gl

[Messiah.]

http://th08.deviantart.net/fs24/300W..._martybell.jpg

Bon Jovi

Adrenaline junkie- fuelled on the emotion of my peers
Blood; sweat and tears in hope that I funnel their ears
To the sound of my music- a dream of ovational cheers.
The strobe lights, like darts that captivate my limbs
As the cascading whims in my puddle of thought they swim.
The shadows of the stage lurk on my sweat that stains
The grain of the wood in which my feet stand in chains
As I belt out the chords of love til I deplete my brains.
My heart beats relentless, it renders my gaze to twilight
Of the fight or flight moments that constantly ignite
Under the bright lights and the summer haze of the stary night.

I sell millions of albums across the nation; the fascination
I share with the dedication that I input to create a sensation
That will gain me the admiration to Basque in the elation
Of applause that break out in a standing ovation.
My muscles twitch on impulse; they fast-twitch involuntary,
Eyes wide open and pupils dilate in the light that’s antidotary
Almost as the buzz of the aura that’s present in the room
And the gloom of the abyss looms over my straw like hair
And with a dying glare bellow out our last song -
I'm just 'Living on a Prayer'.



.

[Godwasheeeeeeeeeeeeere]

he just dropped a verse with me

[Deadtwo]

My Topic is Marriage

Im comtemplating murder, if she opens her mouth again I'll burn her
I cant stand another night like this, I might just go later bitch peace
why does she have to be so fucking annoying
Im getting fucking mad, I can feel my blood boiling
She talks cuz shes got a mouth to talk out of
I beat my self up working 8 hrs, open the door and find her crying
da fuck did I do know? hope she doesnt know last nite I was lying
FUCK how many clients did I tell her i was having dinner with
3 4 maybe 5 fuck it Ill just tell her something and keep lying thru my teeth
Imma head down to a place, someplace were bitches are down wit givin head
my bitch got class but this hoe got a huge ass
this aint school so have that bitch sit on my face.. I hope she dont got gas
fuck this rocks! I pay and she lets me aim and spray on her face
like if shes a thug and my dicks full of mace
In my crib If I pay the bill I just might get to eat a meal
how did I end up in this mess, Ill always wonder did she really take the pill

[Messiah.]

Okay. Lets get some votes on this please.

[Alyse Miller]

Messy

Eyes wide open and pupils dilate in the light that’s antidotary
Almost as the buzz of the aura that’s present in the room
And the gloom of the abyss looms over my straw like hair
And with a dying glare bellow out our last song -
I'm just 'Living on a Prayer'.

^^ my Fav lines i love the way you used your meta's here i felt alot of emotion out of these lines a very strong ending! your wording is here i be wondering what some of the words you say means lol.. but overrall nice piece i never heard of bon jovi but nice

Dead
why does she have to be so fucking annoying
Im getting fucking mad, I can feel my blood boiling
^^
i liked this line but its pretty simple IMO..
your piece i can relate to but its too sipliestic here basic is good if you know how to use it but some lines didnt piece together well wich i felt killed this piece..wording was also the problem here the topic you chose should have a lil more to it you was drscribing the bad side of merriage maybe you should change the title a lil like bad relation ships or something but overrall work on imaginary an gettin more in depth for the intrest of the readers

vote messy

RTF:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...396/index.html

[Messiah.]

Thankyou much. Your link has been hit.

[Messiah.]

^ To the top. Leave AS MANY LINKS AS YOU LIKE.

[Godwasheeeeeeeeeeeeere]

i think messiah took this on sheer knowledge of what a topical means he had ery element as deadtwo was very simplistic on a used topic

lord knows i never seen some 1 drop a piece on bon jovi

vote mess

[Messiah.]

4th judge. Feedback please. Leave as many links as you like.

[SHOK-VAL-U]

I feel messiah gave a better piece here,deadtwo you chose a topic,but didnt really captivate it aswell as messiah captivated being bon jovi,for example you talked about getting head,where as if i was writing about marriage i would feel describing it in a more beautiful sense would have had more effect.

messiah wrote from the heart of bon jovi,it gave me a real insight into what he was feeling once up on that stage.

V/ messiah

RTF: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...315/index.html

[Messiah.]

Your link has been hit, thanks for the feedback. More votes please.

[Messiah.]

Number 6/7.

Come on guys leave some links, a few if you like. They will be hit.