Nigger

[Alyse Miller]

Nigger

You kept me down
You kept me afraid
As long as i can remember nigger was color
nigger was poor a low class citizen
No matter how high we rise
the word brought us down
With the powerful impact of Plymth Rock
Nigger Landed on us
keeping our freedom grounded
that word..
that phrase..
was a black mans description
that was his identity, his meaning
can’t escape the word itself..
it's evil, it's darkness, it's dirty
Declared us un-pure, filthy
black America came a long journey
bare foot mentally scarred
but in our present day we substitute "ER" with "A"
Why..?
So we can Still look ignorant?
using ignorance to welcome one another?
See an old head once told me the word can kill
so powerful that once said even a strong black man....
would stand down..
So watch who you calling nigger
watch what you say when you welcome me
watch what you say when you describe me
judge a man by his character other than his race
When you see me welcome me with open arms
not what up nigga?
use the best of intelligence cause ill be dammed..
If i let "Nigger" be the description of my Character

Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...951/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...904/index.html

[Jamhuri]

I started reading and thought it would b just like those empowerment poems that go on and on about self worth. However, you found a way of playing such and overplayed concept in an angle that made me want to read, at least once more.
The 3 rhetorical questions in the middle and the closing line workd amazingly 4 the poem. Othrwise, u should keep writing. I see potential

[KnowP]

Word-up! Fits your sig very very well. Sad thing is, you made me check myself cuz I use it alot. I try to get away from it, but it still comes up like an addiction. I like how you displayed the word with its history and tied in its emotion. I felt you could have been a bit more creative, but the point got across well.

See an old head once told me the word can kill
so powerful that once said even a strong black man....
would stand down..
So watch who you calling nigger
watch what you say when you welcome me
watch what you say when you describe me

This part became real to me because it can be inviting to hear someone say that word, however, in our ignorance, we ignore the situational usages of the word. Good way to bring awareness to the light. Powerful, yet subtle piece.

[KnowP]

RTF: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=7303302

a battle im tryin to close out... thanx

[Alyse Miller]

thanks for the feed =]

[Godwasheeeeeeeeeeeeere]

word this was very deep and p9oetical but it speaks mounds of truth i see u battle n do other shit but THIS is where you shine ma.


So we can Still look ignorant?
using ignorance to welcome one another?
See an old head once told me the word can kill
so powerful that once said even a strong black man....
would stand down

that is raw


and ur finisher is powerful

[LosFerra]

Good job niggah

[Masahiko.]

Nigger

You kept me down
You kept me afraid
As long as i can remember nigger was color
nigger was poor a low class citizen

I'd put a comma after poor. Good opening lines btw.

it's evil, it's darkness, it's dirty
Declared us un-pure, filthy

impure is the word you are looking for.

watch what you say when you welcome me
watch what you say when you describe me

I liked your use of repetition, it worked well here.

judge a man by his character other than his race
When you see me welcome me with open arms
not what up nigga?
use the best of intelligence cause ill be dammed..
If i let "Nigger" be the description of my Character

A really good ending.

This piece started out like every other piece with the topic. Which I didn't mind once you started making it personal. There were a good ammount of well worded lines. I felt a lack of metaphorical touch to this. It seemed like you could have reinforced your message with a stronger intellectual undertone. It would tie in your conclusion even more and reinforce your direction. Great piece my lady.

please RTF on "My last depressing(DEPRESSING) Poem" pretty please

[Alyse Miller]

thankz for the feed =]

[LiL'LADiE]

this had emotion in it..& that word is used daily,to use it in a poem && explaining the daily use of it & how black people actually landed here,had a deep thought to it..i liked you worded everything && put it in its places...good job..

[Soule]

I felt racist reading this since I'm a white, Irish-man. But nice read, wording dragged on in spots. Made it kinda seem like it was more of a rant then a poem. But some spots shined onto my attention. Your emotion and appeal was really well put together in a few lines...more so then others. I dunno. Good read, work on wording and your voice in a poem. I feel like you really don't put a whole lot of yourself in your writing. And it holds it back from being a 'woah' kind of piece.

[Alyse Miller]

k thanks

[Ctrl Alt Elite]

This is really cool. It started out very, very, very played, but then you REALLY made it your own with the personal opinions and attitudes tied in.

I'm not black, so I cant relate to this much, obviously.. but Its still obviously incredibly heart felt and I think everything you said in this was true.

However, You need to watch your spelling and grammar in places. Some obvious painful mistakes lessen the impact of a good piece.

The ending was cool, I really liked that. nice personal twist.

[Chris Black]

This was cool. It's a topic tons of poets have done incredibly, so writing on it put you at a disatvantage. I can't remember what writer said it, but the writer said he/she felt like he/she was in a bad position cause everything he/she thought to write, Mark Twain had already written about and had done it better than he/she could ever do it.

This reminded me of that when I started to read. Still, you made it your own.

So watch who you calling nigger
watch what you say when you welcome me
watch what you say when you describe me

That was my favorite part. Decent shit.

Fyi, my favorite quote about the word nigger/nigga/negro is from Saul Williams.

"I am that nigga. I am that nigga.
I am a Negro; Yes, "negro."
"Negro," from "necro, meaning "death."
I overcame it, so they named me after it."

[Alyse Miller]

thanks chris