User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Broken Mirror, Perfect Image *crew battle verse*

  1. #1
    Situations at a struggle. Bstill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    States
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,348
    Battle Record
    35-14
    Awards AOTW SOTW 25+ Wins

    Broken Mirror, Perfect Image *crew battle verse*


    Broken Mirror, Perfect Image

    Life less lumbers he's trapped in this state of mind
    One that avenges to escape but gets lazy an never finds
    What life would of been like, if he would of kept the better crowd
    Instead of choosing who you want to be was strictly not allowed
    Once your in you begin to focus on there negative traits
    Like how marijuana was the gate way drug to grasp an escape
    Popularity rises but his life started to crack his mirror image
    While every attempt has failed your re-approachin the line of scrimmage
    The time your spendin has turned you into a different person
    His lifestyle divergin while his addiction to this escape has worsen
    His restriction to stay contained to his royal capture
    His contradictions slowly predict how long his mind would rapture
    So he ventures out til he is exposed to the powder of cocaine
    This one made him feel different took one line to numbed his brain
    Side effects equals death, while his use has grown to this drug consumed
    Unbroken silence he's violent until his dependency has resumed
    He tries to stop but the irritation on his skin begins to torch his beliefs
    His appearance began to fall his statue broken he'll never leave
    He can hardly breathe to the world he's hidden from this disease
    While his broken image manages to maintain an un-please
    He hates his image the skin the bones his ribs bein shown
    His healths unknown emotions depressed an he's all alone
    His family disowned so why should he attempt to fight his reflection
    He lost color complexion before his heart stops beatin he dies from ..rejection



    ss Finals equals two links remember Cry
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...900/index.html
    Last edited by Bstill; October 13th, 2009 at 08:06 PM

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  2. #2
    Situations at a struggle. Bstill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    States
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,348
    Battle Record
    35-14
    Awards AOTW SOTW 25+ Wins

    Re: Broken Mirror, Perfect Image *crew battle vers

    uppin for feed

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  3. #3
    Situations at a struggle. Bstill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    States
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,348
    Battle Record
    35-14
    Awards AOTW SOTW 25+ Wins

    Re: Broken Mirror, Perfect Image *crew battle vers

    uppin for feed

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  4. #4
    Situations at a struggle. Bstill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    States
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,348
    Battle Record
    35-14
    Awards AOTW SOTW 25+ Wins

    Re: Broken Mirror, Perfect Image *crew battle vers

    uppin one last time

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    2-13

    Re: Broken Mirror, Perfect Image *crew battle vers

    I like this.... this shit is being slept on???....... well anyways like always, I find your vocab was good and you had a nice selection of words..... and the imagery or this drug addict was good..... nice wording.... and flow was good too... I just find it could use a bit of tweak as for some seemed a bit stretch but it worked out with the extra details.... nice peace man

  6. #6
    Rebirth.exe Phoenix.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,873
    Battle Record
    11-4

    Re: Broken Mirror, Perfect Image *crew battle vers

    Okay, the flow was a little choppy here and there but the imagery was pretty nice. I disagree with TJC somewhat as I think the wording could have been stronger at points but your vocab really was cool, I liked the ending, it was nice and abrupt but finished the piece off well. Overall this wasn't the best you've written B but it doesn't deserve to get slept on whilst "Thug lyfe" by "imsogangstaIshouldkillmyself" gets pages. Wtf is RB coming to. Smh. Now I understand why somebody made the open Mic movement.

  7. #7
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,587
    Battle Record
    14-9

    Re: Broken Mirror, Perfect Image *crew battle vers

    werd.....B...some lines seemed a little streched to me and the flow is a bit off here and there...but, the imagery was nice throughout and the vocabulary was definately above average on OM...the ending was a nice touch I thought..the story overall was a little vague but still fairly well written...good job, keep em comin...Check out my Sun &The moon piece if you get a chance...peace...

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  8. #8
    Situations at a struggle. Bstill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    States
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,348
    Battle Record
    35-14
    Awards AOTW SOTW 25+ Wins

    Re: Broken Mirror, Perfect Image *crew battle vers

    will do will feed on all 3 of your pieces after i finish packing up my Storage closet

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Similar Threads

  1. Mirror Image
    By Johnny 6-feet in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: May 6th, 2007, 12:52 PM
  2. Mirror Image
    By warchild in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: September 2nd, 2005, 10:12 AM
  3. My Mirror Image
    By Hugh Jazz in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: July 8th, 2005, 10:16 PM
  4. Mirror Image
    By ~Tha Prophiit~ in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: November 26th, 2003, 09:27 AM
  5. Mirror Image
    By Spoken in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: October 17th, 2003, 09:21 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •