I'm a Noob, please help

[creationstyle]

when i finish rappin you'll know that i'm the illest mc
you'll also feel that you shouldn't ever rap battle me
you'll want sucide and be hung in a dead tree
cause when i rap theres no one stopping you see
but i know you'll wanna me to kill you
if i aint got a gun or bat im a use a shoe
i can probably rip right you straight through
no wait i have a correction
i'll just give your girl a minor c section
with only my chainsaw till i pull out your guts raw
thats what i have to tell ya

sucks but i wanna get better.

[ZachLipscomb]

First off im still growing as a writer and lyricist as well but imma give you some advice...

when i finish rappin you'll know that i'm the illest mc
you'll also feel that you shouldn't ever rap battle me
^^Cool bars. Second line has words you probably wouldn't want to use. Try to edit it and make it short and concise and to the point. Maybe something like..." when i finish rappin you'll know that im the illest mc / and that you never should of battled me..."

you'll want sucide and be hung in a dead tree
cause when i rap theres no one stopping you see
^^Ok i can see what you was trying to get out in these bars. Huge tip is too take out words you don't need so you get straight to the punch/point. Keep the flow in a certain tense as well such as first person or second person. If you change it just make sure it is cohesive.


but i know you'll wanna me to kill you
if i aint got a gun or bat im a use a shoe
^^lol....

i can probably rip right you straight through
no wait i have a correction
^^didnt understand these bars

i'll just give your girl a minor c section
with only my chainsaw till i pull out your guts raw
^^decent line untill the end."Till i pull out your guts raw" maybe..."untill i see her guts fall..."

thats what i have to tell ya
^^lol..tellem!

All i can say is keep writing and writing and pay attention to grammatical errors run ons.

[Frank P.]

when i finish rappin you'll know that i'm the illest mc
you'll also feel that you shouldn't ever rap battle me
you'll want sucide and be hung in a dead tree
cause when i rap theres no one stopping you see
but i know you'll wanna me to kill you
if i aint got a gun or bat im a use a shoe
i can probably rip right you straight through
no wait i have a correction
i'll just give your girl a minor c section
with only my chainsaw till i pull out your guts raw
thats what i have to tell ya

sucks but i wanna get better.

being able to rhyme well is easy. its something that doesnt take long to be good at, but it can take an eternity to master. if you dont intend on mastering the art, then stop now; its not worth being a less skilled emcee. if you do intend on being better than "good" at rap/rhyming then you have a lot more work to do besides just being able to formulate a rhyme. to even be able to form a rhyme that stands away from the limitless wack shit out today, you need to figure out who exactly you are, and be that character in your rhymes - whether its just being yourself (which is a heavier task than it seems), or whatever gimmick you can come up with (personally, i dont give a shit). a lot of people say that flow, cadence, presence, voice, styles, etc. are the most important aspects of emceeing, but i will tell you now, all of those are worthless without character. character is going to guide your flow, define your cadence, inspire your presence, become your voice, and develop your style..it will be the backbone, and the driving force behind the way you express yourself, and why you express yourself..

i'll be honest, this verse has no direction - trash it man. you are only toying around with this shit right now. come back with something you want to say rather than something you think we want to hear - and i'll try to help you further..



-10

[Trucker T]

Dude above me's a genious

[Alyse Miller]

lol well they said it all but keep writting how you feel do what ever comes to your mind an the rest would follow

[PakTraxx *Beats*]

listen to mc frank p dude just dropped hella knowledge on ya

[dubstep]

that just blew the mind out of my head. mr rap battle forum master of there. fuck this site.. weridos

[!!Syco-Logic!!]

work on multies ...dont know what that means?...pm me...

[KiiD ExClusiivE]

mmm work on something,,Im not the type to usually believe in telling someone to change your scheme to fit some one elses opinion of "a gud style of writing" when there not making hot music but uhm yeah brah you need a topic or something and MC frank p is right,character is the start. Something that will estabilish you as an individual,the only way I see you pullin this off is if you had a fire flow on audio,,but highly doubt that,,you got the rhyme thing in mind

[J Allyn]

tree three pee me see, for poor store, shoe two through is just so elementary build up your vocab and start using multi syllabols