Practice Poem

[Raptor Jesus]

I'm about to take up writing poetry, this is my first attempt at writing a formalized poem since 8th grade, it doesn't follow a specific structure other then having a short syllable count, but it's much more concise when compared to "free verse" poems.


Catchless

No luck on the sea
Not a prize to take home
My hook remains biteless
No fish to cook
A line that remains unshook
Means no scales to clean
I'll go home catchless
But don't mind the affair
Hands that are bare
Get to relax which is rare

[Spoken Deity]

some raptor...
First off, like all the other open forums, you're required to drop 2 links of quality feedback.
Sense youre a bit new to poetry and I assume to critiquing it, just do the best you can...

[obseqious]

hmm well, lets try this the poem was ok in telling us the story, there is alot more to it,however, not all poems ryhme, not all peoms are eqaully stanzad or syllibaled, and this is probably a free lance style, not really having a set structure in other words, maybe try telling more detail,m about what you see, and the feelings that you had during your trip, then exspress them into what you see as metaphores(should you so decide) then exspress how you want to,
so the poem was a little short, filler was ok, it told a storty and a few details, mets where.....anyway, imagry was......hmmm, well keep trying maybe if you google search differnt poem styles yo can get a better idea, or just keep bumming around the forums and you will see every possible style of poetry pce