My People

[.Prime.]

Just postin this because people be saying I need to write more meaningful stuff so here it is live from the 3rd World.

My people, they dont hustle, they dont ever gang-bang
They sit on dirty corners on every block it's the same thing
Because the poverty stricken houses they live in
Do not provide the shelter all of us have been given
A poor worker walkin in traffic sellin candy
Workin for an industry that just dont find him dandy
He stops a car and tries to make a fuckin dime
Only to get rejected and thrown back in the same line
A dirt boy tryin to quench his thirst
His mom aint go no money so he expects the worst
He decides it might be best to steal from some tourist
But everybody knows nobody cares for the poorest
From the corrupted government officials tryin to control shit
They tell their people that we all have a say kid
But in the end it don't matter, we still gettin robbed
Wanna start a revolution, a fuckin lynch mob
For all the Che Guevaras out there sayin that they true
It's hard to believe that when they dont ever cry too
I feel the tears that always pour down my cheeks
Like them little girls beggin for money every week
The capital maybe growing but my village is still poor
Wondering whatever happened to the NATO next door
We still living in the same conditions we grew up with
We gotta change this shit man we gotta make a shift
Sooner or later someones gonna start a revolution
But the feds are all just gonna call it a goddamn restitution

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...437/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...490/index.html

[.Prime.]

uppin for critique

[sILLable]

first off one of your recent pieces will be closed,you cant drop more than one OM every 24 hours...with that said i liked this piece mostly,your message was ill and alot of pieces dont have messages,your structure was simple therefor it didnt fall off,needs more imagery though,more vocab maybe,more multis for sure,just some elevational tips,liked the piece though,keep elevatin and droppin.~1~

hit up my piece plastic surgery perjury if you havent already.~1~

[.Prime.]

Ya, I forgot about the 24 hour thing, either way thanks for the critique man.

[The Incredible Hulk]

A dirt boy tryin to quench his thirst
His mom aint go no money so he expects the worst
He decides it might be best to steal from some tourist
But everybody knows nobody cares for the poorest

^nice

But in the end it don't matter, we still gettin robbed
Wanna start a revolution, a fuckin lynch mob
For all the Che Guevaras out there sayin that they true
It's hard to believe that when they dont ever cry too
I feel the tears that always pour down my cheeks
Like them little girls beggin for money every week

^ deep


the best ive seen from you by far,sounded deep,even at times a little simple,try mre complex rhyming,but this wasnt about that,i liked the flow,and the lyrics had meaning,keep writing more like this,i said you would improve in time,and in 2 days ive seen it already.... nice

vocab - 7/10
lyrics - 7.5/10
flow - 7.5/10

nice,keep it up and i'll feed on more from you...peace

[.Prime.]

Thanks man, didn't put much time into it, just tryin to spread the word about my people.
Anyways anymore more feedback would be nice.

[Blood Fiend]

nice piece it was deep and had a message like u intended. no line was too long or too short it flowed pretty well. i like your ending it wrapped up the piece. "Workin for an industry that just dont find him dandy" that was the only line that felt forced to me but it was good overall.

[DB]

Good stuff one of the main reasons I liked it as most of the people here would give respects is the fact it had a message and it came from reality like you said.

My people, they don't hustle, they don't ever gang-bang

It isn't all about the hustle and gunslinging bullshit.

I would definitely in the future consider doing a collab whether it be audio or OM.

[.Prime.]

Thanks man, I'd be up for a collab.