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Thread: Self-Raising Flower

  1. #1
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Self-Raising Flower

    Self-Raising Flower



    From the seeds of change they hastily planted,
    I'd take up the challenge,
    And later then manage to break through the granite.
    While down in this poor city,
    Surrounded by paucity,
    And without your security - I'd sprout from obscurity.
    I was a floundering fork of leaves that could barely stand aroused,
    While blowing in the very same wind Dylan once sang about.
    His dulcet tones had rang aloud right throughout my development,
    Strengthening the moral fibre from which I now stand as towering evidence.
    The showers of pessimists may cast dark clouds above my head,
    But with the rich foundation at my feet -
    I merely choose to look towards the sun instead.
    See, life is about growth, but beyond the basis of that,
    I don't want my head in the clouds, just high enough to see the snakes in the grass.
    By burying the mistakes of my past beneath the successes I've just completed,
    I've found there's a garden of opportune out there for those brave enough to seek it.
    If you just believe in yourself, you'll find you too infact are courageous,
    A rose from concrete who emerged from the cracks in the pavement,
    To gasps of amazement.
    And amidst the debris of urban decay, I stand here thus as a grown man.
    This flower is self-raising.
    From the ground up with my own hands.
    Though born with a gutter mouth and tu-lips that held ambition,
    I believed you should only judge the measure of a man, when one is proven self-sufficient.
    I felt imprisoned while scaling to new heights trying to stomach the tension,
    As I was a mere shrub in contention for your love and attention once I'd begun my ascention.
    Those incandescent petals of course were a mere mask of elegance worn,
    To assist in covering my face and to help me weather the storm.
    I ascended the wall while striving to next reach the heights I'd professed,
    While ignoring the flower bed,
    As there was plenty of time for a rest when I was finally dead.
    Our Mother was a radiant ball of fire,
    And I was dragged up, not raised, as her baby.
    But given her nurturing warmth I savoured it daily - Until no vase could contain me.
    As amazing it may be amidst the debris of urban decay,
    I now stand here thus as a grown man.
    This flower is self-raising.
    From the ground up with my own hands.

    This flower is self-raising.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  2. #2
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Re: Self-Raising Flower

    I'm posting from a mobile device so I'm unable to post the links, but I replied to Slant's "Slant" and Rezahl's "I don't give an EF YOU KAY!" pieces.

    I'm not looking for any special treatment, just a little lenience as I can't hop on a PC right now to put up the links.

    Hopefully this can stay open.


    - Deus

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  3. #3

    Re: Self-Raising Flower

    Really DOPE! Really artistic and poetical. Nice concept and metaphors for the beautiful process of struggle. It inspires me haha. Hope this post can stay open i feel people need to see this piece. Keep doing you man.Keep on writing ,practicing, and challenging your self and you'll get there

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    KNOW History, KNOW Self. NO History NO Self

  4. #4
    I am in all things Well Versed's Avatar
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    Re: Self-Raising Flower

    POSTING LINKS FOR DEUS...

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...804/index.html

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...872/index.html

    ok that being done...this was so inspirational...like 2 pac...cuz tha rose through tha concrete line...it just rele spoke to me...i mean im not a fan of poetic drops but this was a very well thought out concept...ur flow was great n ur wordin was wonderfull...tha metaphorz were insane...tha imagery was so clear i cud see evry picture u painted clear as day...most of all this was something like a story in which case u wrote it quite wonderfully...dude i cant say much else...this was a WONDER DROP n A GREAT READ...KEEP WRITING n STAY UP!!!

    yo RTF on any of my drops...n hit me on PM if u got some time...
    Last edited by Well Versed; August 24th, 2009 at 11:32 PM
    I cannot list all of my best lines inside this signature
    because they number in the tens of thousands.


  5. #5
    Legend.
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    Re: Self-Raising Flower

    Typical Baron, twisted mynd, irony?? i think not, You came with that same old crazy wordplay and sick flow that not only I but everyone on this site has come to love. To me, this piece flowed fluently and perfectly from start end and your precision has always been better than anyones i've known, your emotion was good as was your flawless rhymescheme and imagery... i thought the ending wrapped up the piece so well. Now, i don't usually Nom things and i know and you know this is the best one you have ever written but its worthy nonetheless, thanks for the read my friend, collab with me fucker, lets multi up this shit insanely.

    -Thomas.
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  6. #6
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    Re: Self-Raising Flower

    this piece was very poetic,well thought out,loved the multis,the vocab,the wordplay,your imagery was the real winner though,a flawless piece in its self,your imagery just added on to that,the concept was so dope,love the combination of poetry and hip hop,a beautiful mix,i enjoyed every aspect of this piece,keep droppin,hit up my piece when you get a chance Plastic Surgery Purjury,dope piece.~1~


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  7. #7
    Rock you in the Face Sir Skiddz SoPhrenic's Avatar
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    Re: Self-Raising Flower

    When people take their time and put care into what they are saying it shows. This was a really nice piece, poetic but not really isolating anybody. I think the noobs could read this and gather that this is the proper way to approach a topic. You came across really well and the imagery was definately on point. Though it looks funky the piece read well in my mind and honestly this was the best piece i've seen since i started posting in o.m again. looking forward to reading some more.
    Hence Forward.. BURR!
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    Just watch My Back, I got the front.

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Re: Self-Raising Flower

    god damn baron


    I merely choose to look towards the sun instead.
    See, life is about growth, but beyond the basis of that,
    I don't want my head in the clouds, just high enough to see the snakes in the grass.
    By burying the mistakes of my past beneath the successes I've just completed,
    I've found there's a garden of opportune out there for those brave enough to seek it.
    If you just believe in yourself, you'll find you too infact are courageous,
    A rose from concrete who emerged from the cracks in the pavement,
    To gasps of amazement.
    And amidst the debris of urban decay, I stand here thus as a grown man.
    This flower is self-raising.
    From the ground up with my own hands.
    Though born with a gutter mouth and tu-lips that held ambition,
    I believed you should only judge the measure of a man, when one is proven self-sufficient.
    I felt imprisoned while scaling to new heights trying to stomach the tension,
    As I was a mere shrub in contention for your love and attention once I'd begun my ascention.
    Those incandescent petals of course were a mere mask of elegance worn,
    To assist in covering my face and to help me weather the storm.
    I ascended the wall while striving to next reach the heights I'd professed,
    While ignoring the flower bed,
    As there was plenty of time for a rest when I was finally dead.
    Our Mother was a radiant ball of fire,




    simply wonderful

  9. #9
    Artifical Intelligence
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    Re: Self-Raising Flower

    cam?
    - Phisix a.k.a Phyzx -

    HipHop - Drum N Bass - Hardcore


    PhisiX - Remaining Dreams ( Martin Luther King )
    [SOUNDCLICK]7941487&q[/SOUNDCLICK]


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  10. #10
    Just doin my thing .Prime.'s Avatar
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    Re: Self-Raising Flower

    Real good man really poetical.
    Where you somehow inspired by Tupacs "That Rose that Grew from Concrete"?

  11. #11
    ..Never Stop Searching.. The Incredible Hulk's Avatar
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    Re: Self-Raising Flower

    Those incandescent petals of course were a mere mask of elegance worn,
    To assist in covering my face and to help me weather the storm.
    I ascended the wall while striving to next reach the heights I'd professed,
    While ignoring the flower bed,
    As there was plenty of time for a rest when I was finally dead.


    ^ Sick flow and lyrics.. This isnt written to a beat is it? As some barz are longer than others and wouldnt work,use of good vocab stood out in this piece,it was just at times the long barz spoiled the flow a little,but like i said i dont know if you were writing it to a beat or not..

    Flow - 7/10
    Vocab - 8/10
    Lyrics - 8/10

    Overall - liked it,a decent piece

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