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Last edited by Krimson; July 27th, 2009 at 05:56 PM
You say A lot with a little..
I like your set up the positioning of words and
word selection..simple and yet unique this kinda
inspires me to write more on the poetic side which
I enjoy better.
Nice work
To me this started off really well...then it kinda dwindled. I didnt really like the whore concept...within the piece, it didnt seem to fit the mood of the beginning...However, you had pretty good use of wording, imagery was good..emotion like the piece dwindled as i read...a spelling error or two...
Basically, I was turned of by the way you took the topic...but the writing was good. Got a decent grasp of mechanics etc...and put a nice piece together, just didnt personally the concept...
keep on writing..
Succeed Without Fear
Written Voices
Thanks. I will return the feed asap.
this is actually okay... Id agree with spekz and say a few areas dont fit. Youve got some great ideas and images, but you lack a consistent tone and voice which makes the piece really hard to like a whole. So work on vocab and tone, try to keep it all consistent.
However, like spekz said, for the most part, your imager is on point and does a great job of bring out emotion. However, check sentences and vocab.
return the favor on someone elses poem.
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