Issues

[Engivale]

I just finished this and will post links 2morrow, it's just almost 4 in the morning and I'm like red-eyed tired over here. Felt somewhat inspired to write something... hope ya like it, reader.




Issues




All these thoughts come back to me happily,
Half of me just feels lost down the path of the apathy,
Rappin' so casually, Laughin' at Africa's atrophy,
Put a cap in me, Nothin's more sad than a tragedy,
Every catastrophe's actually just what we needed,
Love is conceded, Before we win we must be defeated,
Fuck it, I'm weeded, no drinks crazy with no shrinks,
This whole thing's just one fucked-up reason to show chinks
in the armor... I couldn't be --- any calmer,
She's a goner, I switch on like Jeffrey Dalmer...
Cannibal? I'm a mechanical animal,
This logical topical brain bottled unstoppable phantom will
Be unable to handle hell labeled, "CAUTION: INFLAMMABLE!"
Poppin' a Zanifil and smokin' pot from a cantaloupe,
I'm sick and this shit is the antidote,
Every lyric I've written's like spittin' in Santa's throat!
I can't stand to cope!
...So I forget my issues,....
I'm done cryin', Kleenex, Guess you shoulda kept the tissues...


I'm at the point between breaking and shattering,
Blanking or mattering, An ugly painting or flattering,
Gathering confidence, Capture the audience,
I won't quit til this shit is in scriptures and monuments,
This shit is so ominous, it's like the gift is fading...
Misbehaving ---it switched, got pissed and it's eviscerating
My insides, Since I'm debating these six knives
A couple of wrists one twist and I just dive
Into the darkness, I'm laughin' cuz it tickles my armpits,
I just died and someone's already kickin' my carcass!!!
That's how it feels when noone's your real friend,
Closed in a steel pen while we float in concealment,
I'm a sympathy seeker, but I won't give it back to you,
Ask me Boo, out of what I've told you less than half is true,
Shit, I'm a bastard, too --- cold-blooded and ruthless,
Fuck Mother Goose this is more like Family Guy Pewterschmidts,
Whacky and Zany --- I don't have to explain me,
Actor on stage three, I'm too big for my past to contain me,
Actually, maybe it fits fine --- it's a cliff climb ---
Just like the fifth rhymes with the sixth line,
But which sign do you follow? What do you trust?
The issues behind you or the ones coming up?

[Soule]

Holy shit dude, this rhymescheme was fucking beastly! It seriously sounded like lyrics to a Eminem song. I won't lie, and not like some new Eminem song.... but it reminded me of "Way I Am" a lot. Which was cool. You seemed like just a really pissed off person writing this man. You had some really badass wordplay going on here. A lot of very creative concepts in here. Just an overall badass read. Hall of Fame for sure. Keep it up dude.

[_Lyrics]

Into the darkness, I'm laughin' cuz it tickles my armpits,
I just died and someones already kickin' my carcass!!!

^^lmao
whats good you fucking psychopath haha. I really enjoyed this shit, havent read anything by you in a little bit, flow was top notch, and i could practically hear it as i was reading. alot of dope lines with nice wording in there man, not fitting any deep specifics into it about your personal issues. you still kept the topic in clear viewpoint for me, that you indeed have issues to deal with. your issues seems like they're not part of you as you are with them. probably was high as shit writing this, as it should be, if you drop like this man. I also liked how you fit the problems of your past into it and to be measured by it. nice read fam.

[Vallus]

lol @ smokin bud n a cantelope

really consistant verses, solid rhyme scheme
good progression.......

the amount of different topics in here was what I liked the best
every line I read I didnt know what to expect the next line since
the idea's in each one went to so many diff places it was a
really enjoyable read.....it made for a good tempo as well
especially with the multi's setting a pretty quick pace

lookin forward to reading more from u....



stay up^

[Engivale]

Thanks for the feed, people. I'll rtf if you guys drop some shit, LoL, i looked for you, but here's some links for starters...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...464/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...367/index.html

[Steven William]

Overall I think, as usual this was a very technically sound and nice piece of writing from you Eng. The rhyme schemes dope, the flows on point and coupled with the multis is sick, reminds me of the way I usually write. As far as technicals go, you know you covered them, and you know that you know what you're doing.

Now the content, the content was exactly what the title of the piece said it would be about, issues, and you did a great job of displaying which issues you personally view in which ways. I can relate to some of this shit, and that's always a plus to me, as a reader - I won't quote what I think was 'hot' because honestly, it'd take less space to quote the shit that was GOOD, but not as dope as the rest, which was maybe 2 to 4 lines. You really drove the point home with the way this ended and the connection to that picture as well, props for that.

If you could, drop some feed on any or if you're in the mood more than one of these links, it would be much appreciated and respected feed.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=400204

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=400501

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=400501

[Soule]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...918/index.html
Return the favor, please?

[TrailerMike]

very nice multies, and use of words... i liked the subject as well

[Rosetti Frost]

multis and flow was off the hook.....

I liked the kleenex line because I just dropped a piece with a kleenex line....

the topic def shows dude got some issuses....

you stayed on topic and kept me interested....I never got bored....

overall one of the sickest pieces in here in a long time.....

[Cody Nash]

Be unable to handle hell labeled, "CAUTION: INFLAMMABLE!"
Poppin' a Zanifil and smokin' pot from a cantaloupe,
I'm sick and this shit is the antidote,
Every lyric I've written's like spittin' in Santa's throat!
I can't stand to cope!
...So I forget my issues,....
I'm done cryin', Kleenex, Guess you shoulda kept the tissues...


^^^reaaaallly fucking dope.. and I love how this piece took the turn it did. at first it was real comical, you actually directly spoke to the kleenex company with that line and it made me laugh lol.. lines all through there were pretty good. then as you got to the end, you started getting real serious, the tone of the piece went from "laugh it up fellas" to "okay, now here's my point guys.." really smoothe shit.. the point was strong, the ending lines were the strongest in the entire read imo.. and it just was a very fluid read my man.. love reading your shit and it's always a pleasure.. not a bad read at all, duke.


get at mine and SyaNidal's new collabo, Righting the Write.. should be on the top/middle of the page by the time you read this comment.. but word man, again, good read.

[Chef Boy]

This is hands down one of the best pieces I have ever read. The flow and rhymes were so on point I was having fun reading this. When I entered the post I was planning on breaking it up to give you feed on little sections, but it wouldn't be worth it because every line you killed it. If I was asked to point out my favorite line I would just quote the hole song. For real, your work is amazing, can't wait to see more from you.

[Well Versed]

yeah dude diggin this...it flowed quite nice to PITBULLz DAMMIT MAN...very nice flow n multiz n all that shyt...i liked tha concept u dropped on it too...fuckin crazy wordin n ur imagery along with just a few jokes made it keep rollin along...i can tell u dont care much for punches or metaphorz but it was still on point...just finally a good read after reading trash after trash after trash...anyway...great flow (DAMMIT MAN)...great conceptz....good metaphorz n shyt...great wordin n shyt...just a good read mayn...rele enjoyed it...KEEP WRITING THAT SHYT BRUH!!!

yo fuckin RTF on any of my retarded shyt...n become a fuckin fan!!!

[LoSt SaNitY]

sick fucking multies, and use of words. I have to say did remind me as well of an Eminem type joint, but still very well written.

All these thoughts come back to me happily,
Half of me just feels lost down the path of the apathy,
Rappin' so casually, Laughin' at Africa's atrophy,
Put a cap in me, Nothin's more sad than a tragedy,

^Genius in every sense of the word

Overall-10/10

[sikmaster]

shit was crazy i actually read this already and thought i left feed back i guess i 4got like it seemed laid back at first then it got real by the 2nd verse i thought it was one of the best ive read so far even though ive read very few

[Rhino Physix]

Amazing peice right here Eng. The creativity and mulits were nearly perfect, overall a sick read. Ha enjoyed this mostly cus I could relate to it, keep it comin Eng shit was dope.......