lol just... i dunno lol just read it

[IstabMidgets]

what up people lets have a little dicussion,
let me start out first with a little introduction,
my name is stab and ill be giving instruction,
on the basics of rhyming and its ultimate construction,
sit down shut up and clean out your ear hole,
im only speaking once and passing that test is your goal,
now like english class rhymin is simply speaking in succesion,
using your words for a bit of confession,
schedulin therapy in a studio session,
now it may not be for you so dont get the wrong impression,
i get around like doughnuts,
fuck around and go nuts,
like sir mix a lot said i like big butts,
i like fucking epileptics in the middle of the night,
then half way through turning on a strobe light,
watch her wither and shake and i get dressed and roll out,
but dont ever do that with your dick in her mouth,
like learning cutting skills straight from a surgeon....
or like deep sea diving with croc hunter steve irwin..
now its out of the frying pan and in to the fire,
im gonna go toe to toe with richard pryor,
listen to all the screaming and squawking,
thats what happens when you go swimming with steven hawking,
anyone i missed it wasnt my intention,
you just werent important enough for me mention,
you have to understand that in my position,
finding names that rhyme can be a tough decision,
i mean ive covered lyrical style and showd you how i get wild,
how i strangle emcees like mike tysons child(earlier post),
ive delved deep in my soul and showed you my dark side,
so fuck rosa parks she sittin in back for this ride,
now kids take notes this parts gonna be on the test,
sharpen up your skills before you challenge the best,
like mike tyson fighting muhamad ali,
2 retards in the ring but only 1 gets the victory,
and when i roll the fuck out your all gonna be missin me,
but in the mean time you can all keep listenin see,
i got alot to say and my shit keep on rollin,
out the fuckin mic like a pornstars colon,
leavin all you pussies beaten and swollen,
like kobe did that girl whos innocence got stolen,
so come on girl lets get it on what do you say,
its gotta be hard to pick up women for oj,
lol ok its gettin week my rhyming is declining,
like the stimulus package its starting to get lost,
or like britney spears salad you know its gettin tossed,
for the things ive said its taken big balls,
and now im out son like biggie smalls

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post7082069

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...74#post7082074

[DressToKill]

Man fix your structure! Il try and show you by taking your first few bars..

what up people lets have a little dicussion
let me start out first with a little introduction
my name is stab and ill be giving instruction
on the basics of rhyming and its ultimate construction

See how you can actually read it and follow the flow? It allows the read to not have to stop and re read everything. Your rhyming here is basic and I would suggest adding some multies for complexity and flow purposes. Overall not to bad but fix that structure!

[IstabMidgets]

^^uppin for more replys

[Steven William]

you wrote something with "lol" in the lyrics?

So when you spit this to your boys later today are you gonna be like "l-o-l" or you gonna say "lawl" or what? I'm seriously interested.

/dead