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Thread: Exempt

  1. #1
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    Exempt

    Exempt




    There's so many things in this life that I won't get,
    No wedding rings, no wife and I'll never have no debt,
    I won't be having happiness but I'll make her smile,
    I won't even get half a kiss but the past is just me waiting for trial,
    My jury of peers has had me worried for years,
    I toss and turn as my thoughts confirm my earliest fears,
    Am I doomed to stay alone? Could anyone love me?
    Just lie and tell me you trust me, my life's a continuous cut scene,
    The happy ending never comes, there's no resolution,
    Just a sad beginning and I run from my substance abuse, and
    Havin' to puke into a bag until there's nothin' to puke, and
    I'm livin' proof that we're all slaves to our favorite pollutant...
    Jesus, these demons inside of me keep playin' hide and seek,
    They scream when I try to sleep and peacefully dream of sobriety,
    I need to just try and see some other side of society,
    But I sigh and I quietly curse my memory for reminding me...
    Drinking's the best solution, it levels my head,
    I hear echoes instead of seeing no rose petals in bed,
    It sucks when you know you've lost more than you'll ever gain,
    But fuck it, some men are just exempt and I can't explain,
    Some of us never find a soulmate, we wither and rot,
    Whether or not we ever cultivate life we give it a shot,
    We listen a lot, we don't say much, our description is not
    A resistance to flock....
    We're just pidgeons tryin' not to put our shit on you when you walk...



    Believin' the evilest intentions of people is lethal shit,
    But the legal system just hits 'em and leaves families in pieces, if
    You're free you just don't even know how lucky you are,
    Somebody's bar of soap just got em' butt-fucked in the yard,
    Stuck in the car in a traffic jam but my master plan
    Is to laugh again when I'm done reminiscing my past again,
    I followed her closely, An alcoholic who knows me,
    Ballsy and nosy, shes' up all fuckin' day with no sleep,
    I won't see if she decides she doesn't like me,
    My habits will decide if she damages my fragile actual psyche...
    This young lady will make me take too many daily pills,
    But lately thrills haven't been regulated like payin' bills,
    Life doesn't get easier, you just get used to it,
    Whatever you do, do it with passion after you get through with it,
    Forget the worst days and remember the best,
    All your good birthdays and the best regular sex,
    Exceptional lessons are taught, the rest is a test,
    And if you were blessed I guess God just lives in your chest,
    And even being exempt from the feeling that's meant
    Means I can just see human beings and the reason they vent,
    I know I'm too much of a burden to ask any one person
    To get me over my shit and stay sober and quit jerkin',
    I spit every sick verse and tell you what I'm feeling,
    I'm exempt from joy, being happy alone is my emotional ceiling...






    links in like an hour I'm gonna hit the driving range and clear my head a bit and I'll be back. Good chance to guarantee an RTF for you early birds with a piece of your own!

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  2. #2
    The end is near Tein's Avatar
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    Re: Exempt

    holy fuck man, strong finish i liked it from the beginning to the end, very nice flow throughout all of it good motivation also, message is deep, on some mature grown
    shit, very intellectual very nice usage of vocabulary this shit right here is the truth.

  3. #3
    I'm On Everything Brandon Cee's Avatar
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    Re: Exempt

    Eng, you never cease to amaze me – from word choice to rhyme scheme, you’re always on top of your game. This isn’t by any means the greatest piece you’ve written, but the fluidity between the lines is awesome to say the least. The whole message hits home with me, I feel the exact same way and I may actually have been INSPIRED to write something similar, if all is well with my soul when I decide to write it. I seem to have a soft spot for pieces where the writer feels “empty or neglected” in someway and I felt that from this. You brought vivid imagery and even more vivid emotion, very clear writing too, so great work man. I have nothing for you to feed, but I felt I should let you know how I feel. Peace.
    Legendary Song - Winter Snow



  4. #4
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    Re: Exempt


    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  5. #5
    Soule
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    Re: Exempt

    Alright... I fuckin' hated the fact that.... this was so much better then my last Open Mic. Lol... Your flow was delicious in the least homosexual way I could possibly imagine. When you added multi's, they worked perfectly in your advantage. And when you didn't, it still flowed beautifully. A really smooth storytell. Couldn't have read any better bro. Some real solid imagery in this and I could really see where you were coming from in this read. Keep writing, definent hall of fame my friend. Let's collab soon.

  6. #6
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    Re: Exempt

    eh man this was strait. All the katz were on point and you dont need me to tell you that. I love the story, and where you took it... Some very vivid imagery in this aswell. I cant really say i liked one line better then another, they all came out pretty strait and played off each other wich made it an incredible read. I enjoyed it

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...nk-399845.html

  7. #7
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    Re: Exempt

    Did u really just link me to a piece I already gave you feedback on? LoL

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  8. #8
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    Re: Exempt

    wasn't payin' attention to names, my bad =s Forget the link Lol, glad to hit up your peice though lol...

  9. #9
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    Re: Exempt

    up over closed....

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  10. #10
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    Re: Exempt

    Just a sad beginning and I run from my substance abuse, and
    Havin' to puke into a bag until there's nothin' to puke, and
    I'm livin' proof that we're all slaves to our favorite pollutant...


    thats my fav. part from my fav. rap of the day so far! good shit man.

  11. #11
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    Re: Exempt

    Forget the worst days and remember the best,
    All your good birthdays and the best regular sex
    -lol that stood out for sure man

    im going to nominate this piece as sofar its the best iv seen, ill admit when i read the first few lines i wanted to look elsewhere but oncei got into it... damn it was good i really felt the emotion you were putting out and the flow and schem was great. multis was in there. concept was good overall nice piece

  12. #12
    Banned +h3_B|@ck_+enchu's Avatar
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    Re: Exempt

    Life doesn't get easier, you just get used to it,
    Whatever you do, do it with passion after you get through with it,
    Forget the worst days and remember the best,
    All your good birthdays and the best regular sex,


    this part hit me the best....the whole piece flowed and i believe most people could relate with 90% of it....

    good shit bruh.....

  13. #13
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    Re: Exempt

    Huh, What a humbling and all-enclusive piece. I mean, the introspection here is amazing. It obviously hit very close to home for so many people, and me, myself, am not 'exempt'. I must say Eng, you've always had a way with words and an ability to touch your reader in a way most writers would kill for. I'm not much for breaking pieces down (at least not like I use to), but I had to drop in an let you know just how much I was feeling this drop. Good job buddy. It's nice to see one of the best who's ever done it...is still doing it!

    Unlimited respect...

  14. #14
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    Re: Exempt

    ^^^Not as often, but thanks, my man. Hope all is going well for you, I'm still... exempt.... LoL... but yours is the most valuable feed so thanks again.

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  15. #15
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    Re: Exempt

    This was dope man.

    Way to show that you still have it when you decide to write something. Excellent word choice throughout... fluidity of the read was spot on.

    Liked the message in it...

    Really, I cant say anything bad here.

    Cheers bro.
    AI

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