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Thread: Bullying take's it's toll

  1. #1
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    Bullying take's it's toll

    this slump I live like a dump
    room covered in trash
    one dream to be rich like donal trump
    get a studio and a mix-tape ready
    but without even starting
    failure already
    in a world that confuse me more then ever
    am I always to be struck
    by lightning that's lounder then thunder
    rumble in the bronx
    my class mates makes me feel even sadder
    when I was there
    but reminism brings tear to my eyes
    how they bring fear into my night
    and himiliate me
    hide behind the curtain
    dress up in other cloths as desquise
    I dont want to be recognise
    it's sad I know but that's life
    when you got an assortment of problems
    and you can't seem to think right
    in your mind everybody is agaisnt you
    in reality they're just trying to help you
    and you feel you cannot trust nobody
    everybody's a suspect
    in the caused of my eternal misery
    so that's it
    life is done for me
    as I point this gun strait to my head
    "bang"

    every year bullying take's it toll
    suicides from the ones who feel cold
    they feel like
    if nobody is with them
    hypnotized by hate let their life go
    over 500 000 try in a year
    but only 5000 succeed
    broken family when they find out
    my boy my girl on the floor covered in blood
    like water does to steel turned into rust
    no way to turned it back to what it once was
    but it's all a mind game
    I know that I've been bullied all my life

  2. #2
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  3. #3

    Re: Bullying take's it's toll

    Yo I just thought id say I was going to kill myself, but I talked to my friends, and I feel better now, instead of killing yourself, do bong tokes and get drunk, and put on music, I feel good now. So if you feel like killing yourself dont do it.. some kids are just assholes, kids are brutal, if they have a good reason to make fun of you, their gunna do it.

  4. #4

    Re: Bullying take's it's toll

    hey man I can def tell you wrote this from the heart, shit is rough. I always got picked on in grade school so I feel you on that one. Aside from that, it was pretty simplified, and you should probably work on your spelling to help the readers. Stay positive man

  5. #5
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    Re: Bullying take's it's toll

    up...

  6. #6
    I am in all things Well Versed's Avatar
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    Re: Bullying take's it's toll

    dam mayn ya pain is felt on this one...this was kinda short n tha flow fell off at times to me...but not that bad...it took me bout 8 lines to jump into it...so yit hooked me a lil late but then ur story bout pain n shyt rele got me...anyway...ok flow...good conceptz...ok vocab n shyt...ok metaphorz n shyt...good imagery...this was just OK...even tho u got ur message across there wasnt enough skill in ya writtenz...KEEP ON TRYIN MAYN!!!

    yo RTF on any of my drops...
    I cannot list all of my best lines inside this signature
    because they number in the tens of thousands.


  7. #7

    Re: Bullying take's it's toll

    I thought the "get a studio and a mix-tape ready, but without even starting failure, already" was a nice line.

    Really heartfelt n sheeeet.

    Was okay on the writing side of things yet the topic made it more interesting!

    Well in

  8. #8
    oh! Chef Boy's Avatar
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    Re: Bullying take's it's toll

    Emotional piece man. The flow was pretty nice, it was fun to read, the vocab was average. There was a good amount of emotion in this piece, which made it nice. Good read.

    Please RTF if you get a chance!

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