Walking Away

[Amba.Darlin]

i thought it was forever; i thought you were in love
but when push came to shove, it just got too tough
you wanted a baby, someone to share our bliss
and when you got one, it came to this
you found out, then you left me
yet it was your idea originally
not pushing the blame on you
but this is your burden too
how could i be so dumb
to believe you were the one
or at least one responsible
enough to handle trouble
and not turn and walk away
like you have done today
how could i be so foolish?
how did it come down to this?
Our love has gone away
but a baby is here to stay
and my lifes flipped upside down
there no turning back now
theres no where for me to stray
i have to stop and watch you walk away

[djrubiks]

Not bad, its always good to get your thoughts out; it is kind of generic though. Its all very straight forward. One thing you could work on is the rhyming, I think its usually best to either rhyme or not rhyme and not mix them both up. I see that you were trying to but other words or rearrangements of them could have worked out better. Also its best to avoid cliche usually, for example "push came to shove," is a pretty common phrase, just try to avoid things like that. Just keep at it, you'll find your style eventually.

[CALIPH80]

this is raw and just dropped on paper.i like this.the emotion is good and you bring nice images i can see.it is something poets dont write about on the net......real life shit.....same problem in the rap game.you made me feel your shit and thats what a poet should do.this was real nice and to the point.keep it up girl.