The All Seein` Eye

[Nahlidge]

Another sad story unfolds tryna reveal it`s inner chapters
Tragedy is undressed, comedy conceals it`s hidden laughter
Sittin` passenger side, while depression is ridin` shotgun
Collectin` the cries caught projectin` the lives of lost ones
Freedom got hung out to dry on the cross that judged Jesus
Givin` birth to a generation that learned to trust demons
The crust feeds us, too prideful to take a slice of the pie
Adjust fetus, perfection`s lost when the smile is a lie
Hidin` behind a mistake that became the crime that defines
The line that reminds illusion of the eye of the mind

A sad story unfolds tonight, live from the scene of the crime
Suicidal homicide commited by one who needed a life
Weapon of choice: sympathy, played the role of "forgotten"
Drivin` down dead end streets until the road became rotted
What seems like pre-meditated, but evidence isn`t clear
Birthed from loneliness & hatred welded with bits of fear
A glimpse of years to come foreshadowed by letters & photographs
Love notes written in blood, emotion hidden under the scabs
Both parents still alive, claim their son seemed normal
Paid the price of ignorance when they really couldn`t afford to
No signs of forced entry, the only clue we have is this letter
Tune in after the commercial break for the weekend weather

A sad story unfolds tonight, I play the role of the victim
Inspired by a dream & society that keeps opposin` to listen
Unloaded a clip aimed at the moon, chambered a bullet for self
Cuz life`s a bitch, I`m pussy whipped & she keeps pullin` my belt
To try and fuck me, just so happens that I`m not so lucky
Chasin` after that end all & I`m not tired of rushing
So this litre of Gin became my friend over course of the night
& These Vic`s help me get right, cause this ain`t `posed to be life
While this weed helps me get free, so high I fly like a bird
The word "love" is what once was, but I would die for that word
And this bullet in the chamber is anxious for me to pull it
So I do, cause there`s not much goin` for me that says I shouldn`t
Leavin` the clues all here if only they would bother to look
But nobody really knows me, I`ll be seen as the darkest of crooks
Bullet in brain, yellow tape, police sirens and what`s real
Is because I`m black, THIS suicide will be brushed off as a bad drug deal

Topic: Media Bias

[Nahlidge]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ns-392116.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...in-391481.html

[country]

aye this was fuckin nasty man

i have a few parts i could quote, but as i said in aim im high n i prolly wont quote nothing lmfao


but this is sick wit it

Both parents still alive, claim their son seemed normal
Paid the price of ignorance when they really couldn`t afford to

thats raw


Unloaded a clip aimed at the moon, chambered a bullet for self
Cuz life`s a bitch, I`m pussy whipped & she keeps pullin` my belt

thats fuckin nice


yeah i ended up quoting anyways "shrugs"

[Orijin]

this was dope and had a very strong visual...third verse started off hot as hell...i've never had flow issues wit you so thats always koo...but the piece was dope

A sad story unfolds tonight, I play the role of the victim
Inspired by a dream & society that keeps opposin` to listen
Unloaded a clip aimed at the moon, chambered a bullet for self
Cuz life`s a bitch, I`m pussy whipped & she keeps pullin` my belt

illy.

[Messiah Kaeto]

Easy bruv, .. Loving the concept of this man. You structured this well throughout, and kept the flow smooth.

Several parts I could quoe, but I'll just quote these 3 - my favourite bars in each para'.

Firstly, ..

Freedom got hung out to dry on the cross that judged Jesus
Givin` birth to a generation that learned to trust demons
The crust feeds us, too prideful to take a slice of the pie
Adjust fetus, perfection`s lost when the smile is a lie

I loved that - The flow was steady & the imagery was superb. I love reading your pieces because I can ALWAYS catch the flow.

Secondly,

What seems like pre-meditated, but evidence isn`t clear
Birthed from loneliness & hatred welded with bits of fear
A glimpse of years to come foreshadowed by letters & photographs
Love notes written in blood, emotion hidden under the scabs

That's nasty sick man. great pictures painted, if a little gross haha.

And in the last para', the part that REALLY caught my eye:

So this litre of Gin became my friend over course of the night
& These Vic`s help me get right, cause this ain`t `posed to be life
While this weed helps me get free, so high I fly like a bird
The word "love" is what once was, but I would die for that word

That was class, especially the last line there man.

All-in-all, it was a real good piece man. Quality stuff. I've just repled to your PM - we should collab soon, two old-school heads schooling folks

Stay up bruv.
Peace & God Bless.

[Walter Kovacs]

this was pretty good. To bad you had to say what the topic was. I'd like to see this form into a track. Nice attention to detail


Freedom got hung out to dry on the cross that judged Jesus
Givin` birth to a generation that learned to trust demons


that was dope. Good joint man, when you get a chance check out my drop. thanks

[Lost Prophet]

pretty fresh piece you have posted here buddy.. uppin this for ya ..

[Nahlidge]

Thanks for the replies folks.

[Lauren.]

I really like this piece. Your flow especially attracted my attention cuz the rhythm is so clear and keeps the piece moving. I loved your imagery and metaphors throughout,

Another sad story unfolds tryna reveal it`s inner chapters
Tragedy is undressed, comedy conceals it`s hidden laughter
Sittin` passenger side, while depression is ridin` shotgun
Collectin` the cries caught projectin` the lives of lost ones
Freedom got hung out to dry on the cross that judged Jesus
Givin` birth to a generation that learned to trust demons

^^the language there is so emotional and vivid, it just helps bring the piece to life. Overall an awesome job

[P. Mortuus]

This was a very interesting piece Nahlidge, I liked the language straight away and it had a slick flow to it. The way you place the concepts in the lines were dope, there's too many quotables to put cause I basically liked all of it. The closer was good to; and it can happen and does happen...a lot.

[Cody Nash]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...al-392372.html

^^peep that my duke.. REAL shit...




not a bad read here tho, definitely had a bunch of quoteables here and there. I loved the flow on some of these lines. you switch your flow a lot too... some lines you'll just cram a bunch of dope internals in there, and then you'll skip back to the flow you had going before. as always your style is unique... not many write the concepts out the way you do in each line.. I have to say the last two stanzas had me reading closely. the first was aiight for a starter, but the second two were doper. I think the ending one was my favorite though. last line through the piece's entire direction for a whirl too... it's not original subject matter but you still pulled that out of no where which was kind've cool imo.. not a bad read my dude.. again.. stay up..


peace.

[Nahlidge]

Thanks for the feed back.

[Keeby Swaggz]

this was dope homie... real descriptive imagery, deep shit... flows real smooth... I like this...

[kami.kaze]

now thats cool, i liked the internals in the first part but they kinda disipated after a while the vocab was alright kinda missed the points of view but thought it was good over all just work on using more figurative laguage and more of a steady point of view the flow was good and structure was good so other than those little bits it was a good read really enjoyed it hope to read more from you
rtf
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=6926953

[Jon]

Wow, pretty cool.

I've always liked your flow and rhyming, so thats inevitable. What got me here was your killer ending, usually you go out with a bang, but then again usually I can predict it. This was completely out of question for me to predict. Really dope shit, because shit like that happens all the time, you just portrayed it well. But, really, I wish it would've been longer. I'm sure a lot of others don't because they'd never read it, but yeah Nah, you better stay in SS this season, you might take it if I don't. But with me bein' in there, your chances are slim & shady.