Sounds Like Failure

[Piff Wallace]

this is the lyrics to a song that ill be putting on my debut album which is currently being recorded in the studio....feed is appreciated...song is about my ex girlfriend



How come everytime I try to speak to my ex she dips out?
I wanna make sure I spit on her heart when its ripped out
I wanna scream at her and smack her in the face
No wait I wanna fuck her at a jack rabbits pace
Take a bat and crack her face and call it half mistake
Cause half the body’ll be fishfood for half the lake
Cause that’s only place they wont investigate for bodies
Im sorry but your destinations godly
And if you try to hide ill find the hotel and detonate the lobby
This is my warning don’t ever come back to this life
Or ill come packin a knife or some compacted device
But wait that dude your with has VD’s you contracted em right?
I might as well dig the left side and slash to the right
Revenge is sweet so please take some fuckin lasting advice
Find a way to warm your heart because its trapped in the ice

Remember when you promised that youd always be with me
It hasn’t even been a month since and now you wont speak to me
But your still creepin me like a flesh disease eatin me
Like cancer something I don’t see but still have to keep with me
Im contemplating suicide..its do or die
lookin in a mirror full of shattered glass thinking “who am I?”
its you and I or at least that’s what it was
fuck if I was on some drugs I even gave your mother love
and took a chance on you and you just wasted my time
the difference is I know for sure im not wastin my rhymes
but I don’t need you anyway the world is basically mine
and lifes a bitch all my life you know ive only been a sinner
only been a lonely loser never been a …
I don’t have to say it..my fuckin song speaks for itself
I guess its time to put use to the pills I keep on the shelf

I know I don’t have room to talk..
Cuz who woulda thought with the way I loved you that Id do it at all
Lemme backtrack im talkin about my girl on the side
She was there when I felt like I could curl up and die
Im not gonna hide because it was an obvious lie
I mean I texted her in your face im an obvious guy
But all in all the truth is I lost you both
Gun to my head tears fall while im coughin smoke
Cause both my loves..yeah I know i said it there was two of you
This shouldn’t be new to you OR hard to get through to you
Cause only half the pain I ever felt was self inflicted
And everytime I tried to make a decent point you missed it
But whatever things change and people grow as individuals
You both know it was in my best interest to get rid of you
so we can part and go our separate ways
cause truth be told relationships i just expect to decay


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...9&postcount=21

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...2&postcount=16

[country]

to me

the firstverse was really generic

the secnd verse was ahh flow lacked for me

third verse was fuckin nasty

Lemme backtrack im talkin about my girl on the side
She was there when I felt like I could curl up and die
Im not gonna hide because it was an obvious lie
I mean I texted her in your face im an obvious guy


that 2 bars is fuckin raw


its not bad man

think it built up like was shit in beginin then got better n bettr

[Piff Wallace]

thanks 4 the feed..i was totally opposite and in my opinion it gets worse as it goes along lol..but idk..i dont usually write shit like this it was sorta just what i was feelin at the time...

[Tactixx]

Sawp...just returning the feed you left on my OM....nice drop man....flowed nicely...did seem a little generic but it was packed with emotion and heartfelt writing...easily relatable topic content..ending was nice...with kinda a "fuck it" closing line...should probably sound pretty nice to a beat....hit me up with a link when it's recorded...keep at it...Peace...

[Orijin]

lol @ fuck her at a jack rabbits pace....

anyways....personally...i kinda liked the first verse most...and caught the flow....and the what stood out the most as tactixx said was the closer....

feelin it

[Piff Wallace]

thanks for the feed guys...yeah i hear what people are saying about the generic-ness of the piece...over the years ive learned that at times being generic isnt so bad ...alot of my more in depth and lyrical pieces werent being as well received by people because they were too hard to understand ...what im working on is creating a product that has mass appeal ...shit that will be dope not only to the real heads but to 15 year old white girls and 87 year old grandmothers..

[brokenhalo]

this is a beaten horse your topics been touched millions of times in so many different ways your technical skillz are good but it lacks style man i agree with everybody else generic i wouldn't even consider this mass appeal its just a topic thats very simple a hiphop 101 topic you got good rhyme technique tho.

[country]

thanks for the feed guys...yeah i hear what people are saying about the generic-ness of the piece...over the years ive learned that at times being generic isnt so bad ...alot of my more in depth and lyrical pieces werent being as well received by people because they were too hard to understand ...what im working on is creating a product that has mass appeal ...shit that will be dope not only to the real heads but to 15 year old white girls and 87 year old grandmothers..

i actually agree with u man

still think its generic

but id listen to it


and to dude above me, STFU


ur moms a beaten horse lmao

[Piff Wallace]

this isnt a hiphop 101 topic at all..its my life...so if dont jock me faggot..i write about real things im not gonna write some long ass story about crossing swords with the devil and shit...all that conceptual shit means nothing if you cant write some real shit..i talk about things that affect me ..so you saying this topic is played is pointless and ignorant..if its a played topic why have niggas been writing about it since the 80s and STILL DO..its universal and everyone can relate...

you obviously arent going anywhere fast halo...im a signed artist so i know what people want to hear..

[The Genesis]

nice shit, ignore the 'generic' comments, if touching on a generic concept was bad, then club & love songs wouldnt sell, cause it's all been done since the creation of music, period, but yet it's still affective and it's a timeless concept people will always want to hear new takes on. you can't expect some text faggots to know what they talkin bout musically, keep doin' you.

but where's the hook at? it's really irrelevant to read since most hooks are in a melody you can't pick up by just reading it, but it would be a nice touch to show you a complete mc, and can't only just write verses. feeling like the second verse wasn't up to par with the rest, but it ended well. the first and third verse was on point, keep it up.

[brokenhalo]

wanna battle pussy that goes for country too

[Steven William]

^ no one likes you. lol

[brokenhalo]

younikkaz got jokes thats funny and all but step up to the plate be a real mc and take it to the battle i ain't comin here for no beef or nothing im just trying to rhyme and if you got sumthin to prove im right here ill take the loss if you can dish it.