Lookin` Past - Nahlidge & Nique

[Nahlidge]

Nahlidge
Nique

Lookin` past my star studded, turned broken dreams
Out my bedroom window, thru the holes in the screen
Bared witness to some things that ain`t posed to be seen
Under the moonlight, layin` under rosary beads
I free fall, slowly gettin` close to the ground
Up the street, I can hear the drunks pokin` around
For them empty beer cans wit a coke and a smile
Tryna skate from the world that keeps holdin` `em down
Round the corner, spot a hustler, duckin` the cops
But by day he play a thug nigga runnin` the block
Across from him, is a fiend who just wanted a high
And in `er belly lays a son that just wanted a life
And in that son dies potential, coulda changed the world
Or birthed new faith into the fiend`s baby girl
Who`s at home, on the couch, left cryin` and sick
Cuz her mother sells `er body when she`s dyin` for hits

Looking past the shame and the voice of my mom
Out the bedroom window - smoke is poisoning my lungs
A whore house, no father, just a strain on our lives
Me and at least 6 of them got the same color eyes
Too ashamed, so I cry and it kills for her to love me
Sit in filth with no will, I'll get a meal if I'm lucky
I'm at the stage of alarm, getting raised to be harmed
More exchange of affection with the vein in her arm
Now I pray for better days as I whisper at night
Locked down during the day, I know what prison is like
No heat, no food. She say's I'm useless, a heckler
The coldness of her heart got me used to the weather
No where to ever go, but the glory's so tempting
My life is pure hell - a story with no ending
Except to live in fear. Never to live life calmly
My only fate is to be and live just like mommy

[Nahlidge]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...sh-389152.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...me-389058.html

[Prevail]

Decent...
The Rhyme Scheme Was Weak...
Imagrey Was Nice...
Flow Was On Point...
Concept Was Ehhh....
Overall decent Though....

[Soule]

check out this beast...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ry-389174.html




Nahlidge, you have a sland type aproach with your wordplay. I like it, and you really use it to your best man. This was a pretty tight verse from you holmes. I liked a lot of the concept you used like your second bar and the 'potential' bar was fucking ill too. Flow was really set well for the scene and I feel like I can really relate to this verse bro. Your imagery is dead on, keep it up.

I don't know if this is an old verse from Nique or recent, but I can't seem to tell the difference to be honest. Dope job from the oldschool blossom. Wording was pretty dead on game. More English based then Nah's hood views. The flow was pretty well set through this and that 'alarm' line came off pretty beautiful in my opinion. Nice job babe, keep up the return if this was one.

[Nahlidge]

Good lookin` roman numeral guy!

[Ntalek]

Nigga... You Gay!


lol i'ma hit this wit feed in a bit.

[Ntalek]

aiight this piece was short and sweet..very to the point and held a lot of emotion. First of Nah I like how you just kept it simple and really stressed the emotion and imagery of what was going on...it was like I could invision everything you wrote..vivid shit my dude...flow was on point..no flaws there...

Nique I haven't really read much of your stuff so I'm fairly new to your work but this was quite impressive..i thought you placed more focus on the emotion and just let the imagery do it's thang here and there...but there was one particular bar that I really enjoyed..

I'm at the stage of alarm, getting raised to be harmed
More exchange of affection with the vein in her arm

That shit was dope..I dont know if it was the rhythm of the multi's or what was actually being said at the moment. but that shit was so true and relateable...really added that umph effect to your part..

all in all this was a great read from to veteran writers...really nothing spectacular but just seemed like a piece to show some of the newer cats wuts poppin..good collab thx for the read.

[Nahlidge]

Uppin`.

[Governor]

Yeh this was a nice piece. Some nice line's, some ok & some brought it down a lil. Enjoyable though, a nice collab of 2 good verses. Keep writin' & sometime's a lil complexity can go along way now & then. Return the feed on any of my peice's if you get a minute thanks

[2triple0]

I thought this was a cool piece../.

really enjoyed the story line and i thought both styles were very similar.//.

the first verse felt a little more abstract than the second..//. i think nique came with a more direct plotline.. but i really enjoyed both styles../ I liked how you both started off your verses saying 'Looking past,.,,,whatever' that was really cool way to start the story..//. i got a clear picture of what you were trying to paint in this poem, and i think that's what made it so powerful./.. good stuff here


please checkout "The Seven Deadly Sins" if you get a chance

[country]

i thought this was nasty


nahlidge ur fuckin raw dawg


nique that was sick aswell

[Orijin]

i would scroll up and see who said the flow was weak....but i really don't feel like...so they get no honorable mention...lol

personally...the flow was what really caught me and kinda helped bring the script into a more vivid picture...word usuage was extremely proper....enjoyed the read...