Scytsophrenia Presents: Picture Perfect

[Spoken]

Picture Perfect

Ted Nulb
Mr.Write

Life...with Pictures...
Its how we feel the struggles of our late brothers,
Its how we take measures of ourselves and others.

With our eyes burning - seeing is not just believing, its learning,
Its turning the pages n wondering the thoughts our mind is forming.
The more pain we see the more generous our world becomes,
Imagine being an African refuge n feeling the beat of there drums.
The world can be a painful place, look deep into a painful face,
Both into our self and others, that may be our saving grace.
A picture is worth a thousand words, I’m sure you heard it before,
But what if it could make people feel the pain of poverty n war?
What if pictures had the power to devour racism n stereotypes?
Make you feel the injustice of someone’s life………………..
Or make a deadbeat feel happiness the of coming home to a wife?
I leave it to scientist to dissect what a picture does to the brain,
But it’s on the photographer to make you feel the laugher or pain.
Reminisce pictures you sought n feel the power of images in this way,
Pain or happiness that exists, is the measure of the power they weigh.
You cant put the importance of pictures through time up on a chart,
There is a direct line from photographs to the eye straight to your heart.
They have power to make you laugh, smile n sometimes weep,
It’s the excitement of finding images that can touch us deep.

The details and what not search beneath my rumblin’ rage,
My thoughts of vanilla pages, cage an infatuation with me for days.
Cross paths of - happiness and pain….
I cross the pain to over power happiness in a clutched fist with chains.
These subtle images mean a hidden message just to get you,
Feeling joyous and some times like an African native refuge.
What if these pictures we so harshly speak of,
Were the reason for the world to turn…..
….and for the facts to be covered up?
Or is it the reason for tears to be falling,
The change of seasons within the years or fear to be calling?
Maybe both but who knows just be yourself,
Time waits for the ones who return the favor so lend some help.
I sit on this dusty couch, slouched, heart rigid and shit,
Ear drums tired of the melody that comes from a screaming bitch.
Sometimes I wish to twist the neck off and split,
that’s just a thought….
…. same metaphor as a picture with a little twist in it.
When I get exposed, drunk and belligerent,
I take photos and do some crazy posses cause I don’t give a shit.
.
.
.
What a shame it is… for what I speak to be true,
so here is a picture of yesterday...
... was bored and didn't know what to do.

[Spoken]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...st-388895.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=388834

[Hexzen]

good shit, my dear friend. lets get some good feed.

[Treazun]

The pic is kinda fucked up, but the verse's are great and deep. Flow really on point and i liked the vocab. Deep piece man. Truth to it.

Big props blud. Keep writing.

[Treazun]

also nice use of inter rhyming and multis and shit

[Topic]

i thought the first verse felt very basic. rhyme scheme and all. Thats not bad though, i like to write like that sometimes. It opens up alot of room for writer to help the reader invision what he is reading about and I think you did that well. Some parts were really emotional and some parts were really descriptive...i think that went well together. Overall it wasnt a bad verse at all but my only problem with it was that without the other verse I couldnt see that verse going anywhere while the second verse I felt could stand on its own. In that sense I see the first verse as an intro to the second verse (not sure if that was your intentions) because of the seconds verse story like ending and more personal statments. The second verse did a better job with a more creative rhyme scheme and conveyed a good sense of details and emotion, especially the ending. I liked this verse more but I think the reason for that is because im more of a fan of a verse with an ending...something that leads the reader to think about what they read. This verse has that ability.

Overall a good job on both
I know you probably dont want to but could you return the chore and say something about mine called a pack of ciggarettes? If you could that would be great...thanks.

[Hexzen]

^cool, thx for the feed. ill rtf.
n you were right in a sense that who ever i collab with i wanted there verse to kind of finish mine. which i thought write did pretty well.

kind of what i did on mine n tactixx collab.

[Tactixx]

this is my style of concept dark and eerie.....Ted Ted Ted.....you just keep getting better huh.....I see you tightened those lines up alot...less syllable count helps alot with your flow...your internals and multis are getting good too....nice collab guys....Mr.Write your verse definately caught more of the raw emotion in the piece...ted's was a nice narrative introduction to Write's rampaging verse.....Nice....Scytso..Bitches!

[Westcoast]

This was a dope piece both of you put together. And Ted Nulb, I seen your other pieces before and I think you're elevating every time. The flows were on point and it was pretty deep. I like reading pieces like these... keep it up and Scytso's up!

[Caderyn]

I play hard to get..
But I loved this.

I'm a sucker for those revelation pieces, with the picture AT THE END..
I'd explain why but its long and boring..

Anyways..
No need to really get into the nitty gritty of it unless you want me to..
I'm sure you know what was done well..

Second verse really outshined the first.
No offence or anything, just a better direction and angle he took on it [whether planned that way or not, he got the better slice of the pie].

First verse needs some slight work on his wording and direction. It was vague.. too vague for me. Vague is cool, as long as it strikes deeper with more meaningful image. It was almost cliché in the wording of certain phrases.. You were working towards an intended direction, but the way you went there was lackluster at moments. Still good though.

Second verse was well done. Love the choices of freezing, irony and the image of carelessness.. Sort of reminded me of a depressed drone.. "I was bored.. so I did some crazy shit.. but it's no big deal.. Yeah it hurts, but fuck it. It's just pain." It's so removed from emotion that there's a sense of emotion in it.

Fuckin paradoxical.

Great.

Good job. It's just I'm not a huge fan of when people take an inward piece and speak very outwardly and try to reflect on others when the focus is on you. It's called misplacement, and it's what a lot of writers do. Second verse did a good job of controlling that, first verse needed a bit of work.

Honestly though, pieces like this I could give a fuck about multi's.
The content was interesting.
That's all that fuckin matters to me.

Some cliche wording, but the content wasn't.
Nice job.

[Hexzen]

^cool. thx for the good feed.

[country]

this is my style of concept dark and eerie.....Ted Ted Ted.....you just keep getting better huh.....I see you tightened those lines up alot...less syllable count helps alot with your flow...your internals and multis are getting good too....nice collab guys....Mr.Write your verse definately caught more of the raw emotion in the piece...ted's was a nice narrative introduction to Write's rampaging verse.....Nice....Scytso..Bitches!

tactixx jus when i was respectin u for being real u bullshit these dudes lmfao


aye ted ur verse was trash man

i seen ur other shits n ur a much better writer then this

the first 3 or 4 lines barely ryhmed to me at all i couldnt catch the flow for shit

i think u got skill ted but something jus fucked up here


second dude u was aight

pretty basic imo


this was ahhh to me

[Hexzen]

^honesty is the best policy homie, but if you going to be honoest atleast drop feed on what there is to be improved on. seems to rhyme fine to me. basic rhyeme scheme but i wanted it to be read at a slower pace. but thx.

[country]

werll to be honest

i peep ur shit n im used to u being better then this


so i see this n im like "ahhh wtf is wrong wit ted"