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Thread: The Wrong Path I Took...

  1. #1
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    The Wrong Path I Took...

    This is a quick, simple drop that I've wrote when I was drunk...
    I'm not really looking for too much feed on this simple piece... but it'll be coo if you do...
    I just wanted to express my feelings inside and keeping it real in easy and understanding words...


    I've fucked with so much vigorous drugs, now part of my brain ain't functioning
    The demon's in, inside me conquering
    It fucked with my whole system, and made me who I am today
    I wish I never chose wrong decisions, cause I haven't seen a better day
    I never took the right path, and went the other way
    Trying to find a easy way out, not giving a fuck what other's say
    I'm only seventeen, and I know it ain't too late
    But it's a headache, to start from the beginning to catch the fate
    I'm a christian, and I know some people don't believe in any religion
    But God's who I believe in, even though all these stress I was givin
    I ain't trying to preach nothing, just expressing how I feel
    Cause I know there's someone out there that can relate, to the things that I've dealt
    I keep my homies close, but my enemies closer
    Cause I don't know when a boulder will land on my shoulder
    I keep a look out, over and over until it get's colder
    And until there's no more, cause when it get's warmer
    There's gore, and finally there's war
    I'm already poor, I don't want to get poorer
    So I pray to the lord for, peace and be able to afford
    Cause I'm tired of robbing this liquor store, that's just next door
    There are so many questions I ask, but few answers
    I smoked so damn much, it got my worrying about cancer
    I know that I will be gone, sooner or later
    But I'ma live life to the fullest, and major
    If I can rewind time, I would change so many things
    And take another look at life, and see what life brings
    There's this quote that don't fade away, and I continuously ask "Why?"
    "Why are we dying to live, when we're living to die?"
    ...Why?
    No Mercy/Scytsophrenia

  2. #2
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    No Mercy/Scytsophrenia

  3. #3
    A few of the Chosen Lurid's Avatar
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    Re: The Wrong Path I Took...

    the flow was pretty cut and dry i think you should have been a little more creative with it. the story seemed to repeat its main points but things become redundant after a while so try and add some more. it could have been a little more creative, i understand how its your thoughts and your life but sometimes adding a twist is necessary when writing a piece.

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