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Thread: DJB A Families Wealth

  1. #1
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    DJB A Families Wealth

    A Families Wealth

    The economy is spiraling filing fingertips
    Down to bear bones for there homes all they need to live
    The weakness is heartache for all the back pains from favors
    Tryin to carry a family’s weight stating loves labor
    While one slaves here with the children in the building
    Pops out at work killing to make a livin just to fill them
    With nutrients to suit them kids in there formative years
    Never been poor an it’s weird ma’s forming them tears
    Lookin for work hurt is all that sort of appears
    But it’s worth it returnin’ to an opus of cheers
    From the kids he lives for while he wish he’d give more
    But he can’t, just a man cryin through a thin door
    With his wife consoling him and his girls holdin him
    A daughter looks to her father promise the world moldin him
    Pulls her closer in and hope begins to stutter
    The words that he urged to let out had to bounce from her mother

    Got 2 jobs one graveyard to slave hard
    Working night security scurring to do favors
    Anything for loose change dues paid through work
    Clothes raggy no hat he had greese underneath glue dirt
    Cuticles bruised in full never moved dutiful
    On his post just boast about his girls beautiful
    Smile all the while he’s starting to get thin
    Pants saggin breath gaspin, but no passion as big
    As his heart for the part he plays as thier father
    No scholar blue collar, but promise to work harder
    Never acknowledged the part of the system you forgot about
    The honest route got him now scarred on common ground
    As hobo’s the road so lonely for do gooders
    But his position persistent so no dude coulda
    Stood solid as a statue with stature to match zues
    And kept his chin to the ceiling through all the bad news


    Another year transcends the rent will never end
    Like the recession was supposed to no ends to spend
    His girls threads are thin and her trends aint in
    Just hoping that pe teachers don’t weight her in
    Cuz as math percentages dropped her fat did too
    Embarrassed her food so small she don’t have to chew
    But after school was a tale never told
    Stealing oranges off of trees to feed a three year old
    Little sister with a mixture of rice and some ketchup
    Digging behind subway praying they didn’t catch her
    An the teachers just see her special as her class is
    Cuz she don’t try hair greezy with broken glasses
    Nobody notices her passing it all fades with laughter
    As her former friends focus in on going after
    Her soul, but she’s too tired to fight
    She just lives like her father waits for life to get right


    Links:

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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...on-386883.html
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  2. #2
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    Re: DJB A Families Wealth

    this was str8

    With nutrients to suit them kids in there formative years
    Never been poor an it’s weird ma’s forming them tears
    Lookin for work hurt is all that sort of appears
    But it’s worth it returnin’ to an opus of cheers
    ^^
    this was dope

    stay up!!!!

  3. #3
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    Re: DJB A Families Wealth

    Thank you. much appreciated!
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  4. #4
    :.Swagger Found.: Uben. Sonned's Avatar
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    Re: DJB A Families Wealth

    Not bad man, some good solid and strong lines within this piece.
    Good to see starting to get active and drop some solid OpenMics.
    Now the flow here was good, and the vocabulary is pretty decent as well,
    near the end told a sad story, it was almost heartbreaking at times.
    But definetly a good take on life at this point in time with the struggling economy.
    Hit'N'Run Rises again.

    Goodjob.

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  5. #5
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    Re: DJB A Families Wealth

    Thanks for the feed ten. Much appreciated. Stay up! Anymore?
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  6. #6
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    Re: DJB A Families Wealth

    this was pretty good... i found that in most part it did sound a bit choppy... but alot of it did flow really well as well...... i found the emotions in this was quite nice.... and imagery was nice.....

    Smile all the while he’s starting to get thin
    Pants saggin breath gaspin, but no passion as big
    As his heart for the part he plays as thier father
    No scholar blue collar, but promise to work harder

    iu found these few lines flowed really well and i found the emotions really shined in this part.... good job man

  7. #7
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    Re: DJB A Families Wealth

    thanks. up
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  8. #8
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    Re: DJB A Families Wealth

    who cares if its choppy delivery discides that not rhyme structure i like this and i think the concepts is ill real and i really enjoy this read this is tight lil bro
    ORDO ABACHO(ORDER OUT OF KAOS) CLICK
    SILENT KAOS
    MASTER BLASTER
    LACK OF LOGIC
    DAMANI MIC MATITION
    ACIDIC
    LIL DALLAS
    DeJureThaRaw
    CyKoShYnE
    THE FAM IS LOCKED NO MORE APPLICATIONS PLEASE.






  9. #9
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    Re: DJB A Families Wealth

    Thanks man. This is for an audio I'm waiting for a singer to lace a hook for. It's not choppy when recorded. Good looks. Nice to see your back!
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  10. #10
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    Re: DJB A Families Wealth

    peep out the hnr keystyle i did
    ORDO ABACHO(ORDER OUT OF KAOS) CLICK
    SILENT KAOS
    MASTER BLASTER
    LACK OF LOGIC
    DAMANI MIC MATITION
    ACIDIC
    LIL DALLAS
    DeJureThaRaw
    CyKoShYnE
    THE FAM IS LOCKED NO MORE APPLICATIONS PLEASE.






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