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Thread: Fight Night

  1. January 2nd, 2009, 03:45 AM #16
    Networth
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    Re: Fight Night

    DAWWWG!!!, This piece is the shit!~!!! You will most definately be gettin an open mic HOF award for this and if not, these niggas don't know excellent writing when the see it...
    The multis were waaaaay on point as they weren't just thrown out there without meaning. They tie the entire story together beautifully.. You gotta love the way you told it from your perspective but yet seemed to capture the whole vibe of what "was" going on in the ring.. It was quite amazing, I felt like I was watchin a title fight on TV.

    Bar, you've just officially earned my respect!

    ^not that you hadn't before, but this piece was OFFICIAL..

    Vocab= 8
    Structure= 9
    Flow= 10
    Entertainment= 11> lol seriously(well as serious as possible on a scale of 1 to 10)



    Congrats on the OM HOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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  2. January 2nd, 2009, 03:45 AM #17
    Barcotic
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    Re: Fight Night

    Quote Originally Posted by flavin. View Post
    this was a real nice drop. idk if your in SS but should sign up. you opened this real good, caught the attention well. stayed on point through it all, so the story never fell off at all. It flowed real nice imo. maybe a line or two i though sounded a bit out of place, but nothing threw the piece off. Like you said, too many multis would have kinda thrown this off and its a good thing you realize that. a lot of people just try to multi the verse to death. overall this was a real good job for sure..keep it up.
    I think you meant metas, cuz the piece is FILLED wit multies, lol.. I know what you meant anyway, so yeah, thanx for a good feedback flav....
  3. January 2nd, 2009, 03:50 AM #18
    Barcotic
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    Re: Fight Night

    Quote Originally Posted by Networth View Post
    DAWWWG!!!, This piece is the shit!~!!! You will most definately be gettin an open mic HOF award for this and if not, these niggas don't know excellent writing when the see it...
    The multis were waaaaay on point as they weren't just thrown out there without meaning. They tie the entire story together beautifully.. You gotta love the way you told it from your perspective but yet seemed to capture the whole vibe of what "was" going on in the ring.. It was quite amazing, I felt like I was watchin a title fight on TV.

    Bar, you've just officially earned my respect!

    ^not that you hadn't before, but this piece was OFFICIAL..

    Vocab= 8
    Structure= 9
    Flow= 10
    Entertainment= 11> lol seriously(well as serious as possible on a scale of 1 to 10)



    Congrats on the OM HOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thanx Net, I appreciate that.. glad you liked it, cuz I spent alot of time on this.. people were tellin me to stop the self glory n try somethin else.. I jus didn't know what.. til this weird but cool idea came to my head when I was in the shower, lol.. n I thought hey, it could work cuzza how much I actually like the UFC....
  4. January 2nd, 2009, 03:53 AM #19
    Networth
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    Re: Fight Night

    Yeah I LOVE UFC too and if its anything I like more than rappin in real life, its fighting, or maybe Madden but yeah anyway, you deserve all the props in the world for this one. In the shower huh? Well you better take three of those a day cause they'll make you rich in no time.


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  5. January 2nd, 2009, 08:20 AM #20
    Tactixx
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    Re: Fight Night

    this was well written......good job Barcotic...you have front lines....now get out of my open mic....lol..j/k....well this was a nice drop and you can flow very nicely to it...I was almost singin it as I went along...the imagery was there,multi's, flow, structure, it was very well-rounded...a few favorite lines

    he backs away fast, stays back, wonders what I'm plannin,
    so I throw jabs like cannons, usin reach to my advantage..
    some landin but lack damage, he ducks for a take down,
    my first mistake now, feels like gettin hit by a Greyhound..
    straight plowed, now I'm thinkin.. "submissions for what?",
    cuz I'm not givin a fuck, so I defend til the first 5 minutes is up..
    "are you listenin bra?", sweat pours as I ignore my trainers,
    they can bore me later, I already know the score on paper..

    ^^This stood out to me...nice shit...The only advice I would give is to come with a little more creative topic....Ive read alot of fight scenerio rhymes in the past.....but very well done man...keep em coming....peace...p.s.....UFC is the shit....

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  6. January 2nd, 2009, 11:15 AM #21
    Lux Ferous
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    Re: Fight Night

    *jumps up and down*

    ohhh shit oh shit...I fuckin love MMA

    sick ass drop...

    Vocab - 7
    Flow - 10
    Multis - 9
    Enjoyment - 10
  7. January 2nd, 2009, 11:37 AM #22
    Lelouch
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    Re: Fight Night

    you displayed some nice multi talent
    throughout this verse, and i also saw
    this fight, so i can get into it a little more,
    overall i like the multi rhymescheme you used
    and the way you went with the basic climax
    feature, keep writing.
    "Four letter words or four syllable words won't make you a poet
    It will only magnify how shallow you are, and let everybody know it."
    -Gil Scott Heron.

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    .Infekted Penz.
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  8. January 2nd, 2009, 12:44 PM #23
    AlphaMetric
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    Re: Fight Night

    so, what, forrest griffin won???

    but anyways, this shit is awsome, i loved every part of it.... the description word by word were perfect, the flow was there, I love how you start this piece out...

    "I'm broke.. the crib's worthless, last month I quit workin,
    been spendin all my time trainin for this one strict purpose..
    I sit nervous, fists hurtin, my heart beats like a race horse,
    the crowd starts screamin ready to see what they payed for."

    i loved how you open it out, i found it fits this piece totally, and like how you say he quit workin in order to train.... great concept..

    anyways, this is a great piece, def a OM HOF worthy,,,,,
  9. January 2nd, 2009, 12:46 PM #24
    Barcotic
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    Re: Fight Night

    ^Word dudes, thanx alot.. n no, that Forrest vs Jardine pic was just to get you in the mood sorta thing.. the fight wasn't them.. it was ME having a dream, vs some random....
  10. January 2nd, 2009, 01:03 PM #25
    RAS.
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    Re: Fight Night

    Wow.....dude This Was Hot Begin To End This Here Is Hof Material

    I Have Nothin To Say... But Keep Writin...shit
  11. January 2nd, 2009, 03:11 PM #26
    Westcoast
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    Re: Fight Night

    This was a nice drop. I just joined today but keep it up and hope to see more drops from you.
  12. January 2nd, 2009, 05:07 PM #27
    Barcotic
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    Re: Fight Night

    You will....
  13. January 2nd, 2009, 05:14 PM #28
    AlphaMetric
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    Re: Fight Night

    ^^ where the feed for my piece... lol...


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ne-386265.html

    blah
  14. January 2nd, 2009, 05:16 PM #29
    Alphaeus
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    Re: Fight Night

    This was nice, and in all honesty a lot better than I expected since you don't really drop in the OM section. I'm putting the nice imagery and description down to you being a fan of MMA and the UFC.
    You had a very tight rhyme scheme from the off that kept the reader hooked from the start. Don’t know if this will get HOF because there's some very good competition in OM, as always but a good drop NME.
  15. January 2nd, 2009, 07:52 PM #30
    SATIVA
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    Re: Fight Night

    Haha Nice Pic Of Jardine And Forrest Haha.....

    Thought This Was Dope Concept Vocab Multies Flow Evrythng

    Was On Point In My Eyes Man Shyt Was Sick Haha Keep It Comin Man Props

    On This Shyt!

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