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Thread: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

  1. #1
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    Love Language
    By: Abiona and Cry






    Her eyes
    yes, I said her eyes!
    another cliche' forget-me-not
    to add on stacks of others
    written long ago,
    but...
    never forgotten by lovers.

    Anyways, back to love.
    where was I?
    oh yes -
    Her eyes,
    they're as popular to me
    as that ritual piece of candy
    a child gets leaving a check-up.
    the day I need a doctor -
    is also the day
    they are gone when I get up.
    I would die to miss a morning
    not looking at them.
    so lush, elegant,
    full of life and sass,
    beauty and wrath,
    a pulling force I'll never get -
    a steady forward motion
    assuring I'll never go back,
    still, I grab her eyes with mine
    placing gentle palm to her cheek,
    and in that moment of chi,
    of peace and we...
    I hold love in my hand.


    his hands
    yes, i said his hands
    form pillows for my face
    i place my
    smile within his fingers
    stretching wide
    in his embrace
    allow me to explain,
    you see, he
    molds me into being
    until my life, it lines
    his palms, he
    shapes me into creation
    a master sculptor,
    i am reborn
    in the sanctity of his touch
    we blend into the
    disappearances of boundaries
    that lose sight of
    where i end and he begins
    my equal and opposite
    yet still my reflection
    his fingers twist my gravity
    into submission
    resting gentle on curve of neck
    inside of wrist
    his hands, oh how they massage my pulse
    into beating.


    her love,
    you bet I said her love,
    remaining un-passed
    among different captors,
    I've a one-fish net
    to grasp mine from the sea,
    because although many, she
    is one I need to keep,
    the key to my laughter,
    and that day that I'll ask her
    I can't wait for
    that proposal of devotion,
    the giant among combined words,
    the start of a different chapter
    her touch, her taste,
    her smell, her grace,
    her gaze in mine,
    the feeling of her face,
    her mind,
    will all be mine;
    not just spiritually,
    but more along the dotted line,
    and I'll love her even more
    as I have in often times,
    dedicating fingers to be laced,
    lips to be locked,
    eyes to be combined,
    coaxing her love
    to come closer,
    to jail me deep inside,
    so I can whisper my
    deepest secrets
    involving her body,
    my imagination's
    sweetest crimes.


    his mind
    divine center of nervous thoughts
    combined with
    futures intertwined,
    i long to
    slip inside his dreams
    and weave myself into
    his lifeline.
    were he
    robbed of sight,
    he'd still see me
    with his touch,
    constructing my image
    with gentle fingertips.
    had i no words,
    he would still hear me
    calling him forth with my eyes;
    the reflection
    of my intentions
    embedded deep within my gaze.
    free of defenses,
    our love is senseless,
    beyond the limits
    of sight and sound.
    for it is within our hearts
    that the language of love
    can be found.
    Last edited by Cody Nash; December 20th, 2008 at 07:35 AM

  2. #2
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Last edited by Cody Nash; December 20th, 2008 at 03:44 AM

  3. #3
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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    Wow, one of the more enjoyable pieces i've read on here. It read as though it would work really well as a spoken word piece, but that being said your poetic voices were strong throughout this poem. I liked the pace of it all and your choice of words, the both of you, was spot on almost throughout. In particular I liked the opening stanza, it immediately grabbed my attention and i think it was the most lush in terms of imagery...I enjoyed the read.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  4. #4
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    thanks a lot man. that means somethin' comin' from you my dude!

  5. #5
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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    whoa, where's the love? *sad face*

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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    This was a great read! I really enjoyed everything about this piece. I loved the description and detail of this but I couldn't tell who wrote what! I think that the imagery in this was good but the detail was very nice

  7. #7
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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    Loved the connection from you two. it was well written and diction well along with your word assortion. both held there own. loved how it went back and forth...from the her to him to her to him again. cry i loved the liner when you were jogged then came back and remembered you were talking about her eyes... that was pure simplicity man. the cliche' forget about me...meh seemed a bit forced just saying man.

    Her eyes,
    they're as popular to me
    as that ritual piece of candy
    a child gets leaving a check-up.
    the day I need a doctor -
    is also the day
    they are gone when I get up.
    Liked how it went from happy to reminisce to sad nah mean. i thought the doctor line was cool and constructive man.. props.

    I would die to miss a morning
    not looking at them.
    so lush, elegant,
    full of life and sass,
    beauty and wrath,
    a pulling force I'll never get -
    a steady forward motion
    assuring I'll never go back,
    still, I grab her eyes with mine
    placing gentle palm to her cheek,
    and in that moment of chi,
    of peace and we...
    I hold love in my hand.
    The following half after the first quote and it shows the flow of things man and how smooth it went...props man again you have grown alot cry in your poetry...

    Abiona baby i loved how you made things subtle yet very simple and complexed. you had a theme and you kept on giving your emotion from left to right. your verses though wasnt as constructive with imagery like cries but content and flow of things was a tad more qualitied.

    his hands
    yes, i said his hands
    form pillows for my face
    i place my
    smile within his fingers
    stretching wide
    in his embrace
    AHH...just fuckin beautiful girl. sexyness right there i loved the content in that sole stanza

    i am reborn
    in the sanctity of his touch
    we blend into the
    disappearances of boundaries
    kinda weak... i mean it was nice but the disposition of words were shown..in other words i felt it was forced..

    i long to
    slip inside his dreams
    and weave myself into
    his lifeline.
    were he
    robbed of sight,
    he'd still see me
    with his touch,
    constructing my image
    with gentle fingertips.
    Loved this stanza girl. another beautiful line...

    You both did great in this collab and i felt both meshed well like no other and great content from you both prop son this beautiful read and it was smooth and clean.. i saw no grammar errors and i felt like only a few lines were eighter cliche'd or forced but still dropped as a hell of a read.


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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...es-385824.html
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  8. #8
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    thank ya sir... will hit that link when I get internet back.

  9. #9
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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    more love.

  10. #10
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    wtf..

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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    Cry - I thought you did great in introducing us into the realms of this poem. You seem to be writing about love a lot these days. So it comes as a surprise to me that you still maintain that appeal in your writing... This was a different approuch which i feel was the cornerstone of this piece. I liked the popular line ok maybe the whole stanza.


    Abi - This was really lovely from you. It was charming and innocent really. You did a reall fantastic job at pickin off where Aaron left off. The ending/last stanza was my most favorite simply because it packed that killer punch or sound tone. The icing on the cake so to speak.

    I liked this alot you 2. Keep writing and will be looking forward to the play-offs

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    On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.


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  12. #12
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    no sleeping allowed cock stains.

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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    WSup cry... first time feeding one of your pieces and this one is dope. The two of you connected one full piece with meaningful description and imagery. I really enjoyed reading this poetry and hope to read more of yours man... Keep it up and stay up.
    No Mercy/Scytsophrenia

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    Scytsophrenia

    On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.


    [soundclick]7321513[/soundclick]

  15. #15
    as ain't Jamhuri's Avatar
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    Re: Love Language [Feat. Abiona]

    had fun reading this. the third stanza was ma favorite though i cant tell who wrote what, this being a collab.
    unconventional stuff. very appealing.

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