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Thread: My MJ Verse

  1. #1

    My MJ Verse

    Marijuana

    need to get rid of daily stress and anxiety.
    marijuana is all that one needs.
    Brings you down to zero from a hundred degrees.
    beautiful Mary jane, washin everything away like the rain.
    Even when im with Kane im always thinking bout Jane.
    all assortments have i have had in my many days.
    I be mixin em up like music is for deejays.
    different kinds of color, to make u hover,
    none are lethal so i dont associate with danny glover.
    i be lookin out for those creepin donut lovers
    cuz u will never know when they might come thru undercover.
    paranoia is the price i pay but theres not a day
    i let that get in my way. Transforms my view so i will call it michael bay. promoted by legends like nas n jay.
    chillin at home feelin funky,
    the thought of food makes me hungry.
    i get a txt from my girl sayin she so horny,
    i reply sayin is that u jane n she says, u so corny.
    reality kicks in and i start to think,
    about livin the good life, makin real money,
    and not be the water going down the sink.
    i reminisce of memories of a hard knock life from my father.
    then i start thinkin bout an easy life as a ganja farmer.
    ill leave that to faith and smoke another
    and leave my head for another hour.

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    NY
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    Re: My MJ Verse

    i actually liked this alot..reminds me of shit i wrote when i was in 9th-10th grade
    good metaphors good multis...and i love marijuana too...

    dope drop..keep it up man ..welcome

  3. #3

    Re: My MJ Verse

    thanks for the critique. this was my first post. i am new to this but i have interest in writing rhymes. im going to try to practice it but at the same time trying new things.

  4. #4
    Lyricologist
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    Re: My MJ Verse

    okay attempt if this is your first. check out good pieces to get an idea of what some good topicals look like. you need to work on your flow pretty bad. where point where i had to re read lines. you didnt really have any description here. just a bunch of really random lines. you could make a verse about a high, just go into a lot more detail about it and try to get some multis in here. just trying to help you out with all the critique. but for real check out some legendary pieces to get some motivation and see some shit thats really well put together. you got a lot of room to improve but just keep writing and youll get there. trust me, my first drop was a lot worse than this.
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