Somewhere There Is A Poem.

[Ntalek]

Somewhere There Is A Poem.


Somewhere
in the depths of my soul
there is a poem.
A Poem that transcends
"all"
the frowning judgments
and negativity pieces together
every shattered heart and loves
unconditionally.

There, in that scared place-
I call the essence of my being,
there is a poem.

A poem that makes me beautiful
in the honest eyes of love and places
my worth beneath the soles of my feet,
binding it with my every step.

This poem flows from my lashes and
into my hands making emotions more
precious than gold and faith my hero.
This poem carries me
into the tenderness of peace,
where utopia is genuine, and I am one with
natural creations.

At times when I unconsciously think-
with my heart and love with my mind this poem
will sheild me from unwanted harm, protecting
what I sometimes neglect.

Somewhere, there is a poem so true,
so divinely healing, it uses its lyrical prose
to comfort and console.

This poem will rise
from the cavern of my creative core
and embrace lonely children, restless mothers,
and dying men.

"Somewhere
inside
who I
really am
there is a poem."

It will glow like fire.
It will pour like rain.

When my inner child
and acquired wisdom
realse this poem.

Destiny will have found me,
place its hands on my shoulder,
and tell me to rest.



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...nt-381562.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...on-379674.html

[abiona]

this is my favorite piece that you've posted thus far.

dont even want to break it down from a feedback point of view...

too personal.

"Somewhere
inside
who I
really am
there is a poem."

that was perfect.

<3

[Ntalek]

wow that was quick..thx for the read but where's the feed...this was really just a vent type piece i've been working on..but yeah thx..anyway..baby cakes.

[abiona]

im in the middle of grading... not enough time for a long response right now... but i saw it... read it... and had to say something. =)

[Ntalek]

oh word just leave more in depth feed when you have time thx..!

[Spoken Deity]

I think this is good... I feel there are bits of imagery that arent coherent and dont match very well though. The lack of punctuation fucks up the read in a few places aswell.
But the imagery is good, descriptive and emotional. Your less abstract pieces are better in my opinion. This really conveys emotion well and because of that, it helps the read identify with it... making them enjoy the read more.

So ya, not bad, just needs to be polished.

I'll inforce the link rule though if there isnt one by noon tomorrow. pacific time

[Kalos Graphē]

wow... N... you really did it... ive always read ur shit bro.. whether or not i dropped a comment, and my apologies if i didnt.. but damn... this shit was deep... I love the concept.. so simple but i've never heard it done before. i re read a good four times, and i hate reading, so that really says something.. the diction in this piece was perfect.. there's atleast one perfect word for every line, sometimes more depending on the style, and you hit all those perfect notes i think.. there's nothing i'd change about this.. it was insightful, and i could tell it's something that you believe in much. you created this inner self, that made me (the reader) really connect with you (the poet) and almost let the reader into your mind, or into your place as you called it, within, where you are truly free to do and say as you wish.. and everyone has that place inside them, even though it's drastically different for every one.. and what i find, when i used to write poetry, is that poetry is a mear, painting if you will for people to see into your special area like that.. well this piece to me is no such thing as a portrait... its more of a passage, to which you invited us all to wander freely in your place.. beautiful. i loved it

That's just my interpretation of it... i'm not gonna bore you with all the format, flow, structure bullshit cause we all know that you are very well capable of it, and it shows without saying.. definately PSHoF material if you ask me.. one thing's for sure.. Somewhere There Is A Poem in all of us, and you may have found it.. no d/r i loved it ahah

[Dayvid Aimz]

drumroll please lolz....my take on it.....

liked this...it seems like theres a new thing on RB for like odes and short but sweet pieces....Really man I felt like you said alot in very few words,
This piece was complex but laconic at the same time...if you don't know what "Laconic" means please do look it up.


"Somewhere
inside
who I
really am
there is a poem."

It will glow like fire.
It will pour like rain.
^^I felt like that was a miniature stroke of leit motiv....anyways liked the topic and how you approached it...that was the strongest part of this poem.

I also like the simplicity you approached this piece with,,,,I think we're kinda used to seeing you drop Complex hof-worthy pieces all the time.
This was fun to watch...Ntalek having fun writing...

peace and stay up, sorry for the long feed.

[Ntalek]

word thx for the feed fellas and a extra thx to tattoo..and links are added..

[Ntalek]

tops.

[Alphaeus]

Nice piece Ntalek,

You used great description in this and it made the read that much better
Presented well and it flowed ok.
You imagery was what stood out for me, it was really good and you packed lots in

This poem flows from my lashes and
into my hands making emotions more
precious than gold and faith my hero.
This poem carries me
into the tenderness of peace,
where utopia is genuine, and I am one with
natural creations.

Really well written and nice description
A fine example of everything I have mentioned so far

It will glow like fire.
It will pour like rain.

Great writing. The contrast between the fire and rain, I liked that.

Good piece

[Spoken]

you spoke your piece out with words to be put into thought about how you feel towards things and an indepth view of your own creative thinking because you made it plain and simple for the readers to understand yet in some form metaphorical intervene it was complexed to a degree....somewhat spiritual and emotional...this to me was a personal poem to let readers feel what you feel... your way of decription was executed nicely and was not over done in any way N.... nice drop here and i see you becoming a legend some day dude!

Fav. Lines

This poem flows from my lashes and
into my hands making emotions more
precious than gold and faith my hero.
This poem carries me
into the tenderness of peace,
where utopia is genuine, and I am one with
natural creations.

[Jawn Raw]

i'll feed this better later. but it was pretty dope. hof worthy i'd say.

[Ntalek]

wtf..I thought you left feed..oh well tops.

[Jawn Raw]

ok word this shit was tits. the whole content you went with was unbelievable to see you posted it. This is by far my favorite shit I've ever read from you. the flow was insane and I found the storyline deadly. I found this to be some what very original compared to what most poets on rb do. to many people talk about sorrow and bullshit but this was about the poetry itself and that was tits. the essences of writing poetry and you just brought it to a creative level not many cats probably could. overall this was a solid drop, hopefully somebody nominated this because I will if nobody does.