just spittin!

[braylon]

let this scheme-digest what is it that this life is supposed to mean when ya words are themes-at-best...
and watch ya esteem-digress as impotent minds surround that cant grasp and forsee-the-test...
lyrical morons everywhere have seemed hard on growth and it seems spittin smart is meaningless....
and my words are dreaming-less cuz the thought of not rappin just doesnt seem-to-set...
im found wit lost metaphors displaced-complexities from nothing but disgraced-perplexities...
i must have misplaced-the-next-to-me whos minds couldnt embrace-the-text-wit-ease....
lets regard-these how many more will succomb to this life that shares nothing but a hard-read...
Where monosyllabic lyricists are made into retards-please!? i will not be a part of this charred-breed...
i will break free!!!! im sure-to-last within this future where my mind as endured-the-past...
and the present was ensured-to-pass only to obscure-the-mass to forget the memory that is unsurpassed...
what others stole-to-seek is that this life means for you to dream for the loves that made ya soul-complete...
others may try to control-the-treat of illusions that combined you wit urself within its whole-retreat....
through my writing i extol-the-sheets where my story can be told-through-suites to mold-the-meek...
to show them where to hold-their-feats till they can revel in the memories that were fortold-to-me...

[Barcotic]

You got a preddy dope flow.. Could use a little work at times but meh, you'll improve.. Iunno if I really felt the piece overall but it was ok I guess.. You do have potential, I know that much.. Word of advice tho, you NEED to take those newbie lines out from between the words that rhyme, nobody wants to see them or needs to see them.. I use to do that too.. When I was like, 12!! lol