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Thread: "LONELY and COLDHEARTED" in memory of Ash

  1. #1
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    "LONELY and COLDHEARTED" in memory of Ash

    misconceptions of judgment casted without perception
    or direction to judge them, I’m basking in misperception
    of camouflaged, cold ,and lifeless pedals torn practically off the rosebud
    she a mirage of unrighteous lies that medal honorably an chose 2 love
    a stone hearted female species that was troubled some
    all alone she started to inhale pieces of trouble as it come
    having debris forming clots like knots in her tongue
    And she’s torn by her pops an thought to tell no one
    Mother? oppressed an obsessed with crystal meth
    Even her brother possessed in physical death
    How could they comfort a child’s deepest confessions
    An how would she come forward to profile secret transgressions
    About a piece shit father you molested his daughter
    Or a leech of a brother who prostituted his 12 yr old sister
    Traded her to older men to feed the demon of addiction
    Maken her grow colder by the week, dreaming of affection
    Reaching for parental guidance of some sort
    Seeking identifiable remnants for comfort an support
    But every memory neglectfully tainted
    stuck, buried, an painstakingly painted
    portraits displaying her innocence victimized
    Co-prates satisfying there indulgence without compromise
    her eyes no longer disguise the lies bottled up inside
    unfair sky’s wronged her and she replies “god why?”


    *don’t cry lonely girl when u feel all alone
    I know times get rough when u aint got no home
    Especially when u aint got no family of your own
    You was left to fend for yourself before you where grown
    An they expect for you carry such a heavy stone
    Asking ”where’s god when gristle meets the bone”
    I promise you if there ain’t one you still not alone
    his sand prints well help me guide you home
    so don’t cry lonely girl cause you no longer alone*


    hater or atheist cuz I believe in the creator
    taker of sapiens an maker of latitude across the equator
    not an instilled image of a Caucasian father of Christ
    rather rot an spill the vintage before im caught praising an altered device…
    actually I practically feel exactly like Ashley
    unusually at easy to deal with humanity rationally
    Im used to, being used too…my knuckles bloody purple an bruise
    i used to refuse to see the truth just like you
    but a change of heart was born from a cell
    was estranged from a part of my unborn brain cells
    being confined to countless time opened my mind
    was seeing blind now the curtains wide hoping to find
    why god exists yet lets kids die from cancer
    I ‘ma lightning rod so god cant miss striking me down for the answer
    I been through to much to touch a blood rush
    My sin grew to such an extent my back flush
    Against the end the road my cards fold
    immense pressure blend with the cold, so im told
    but the only point of view I relate too is pain
    lonely girl the only homie that know me to keep my tips stained
    with hashish in search of peace in a wilderness of deceased
    death in the flesh no church mesh can filter this uncensored release
    they’ve unleashed beast from the belly of starving potential
    brave enough to speak against the meek from carvings of pencil


    *don’t cry lonely girl when u feel all alone
    I know times get rough when u aint got no home
    Especially when u aint got no family of your own
    You was left to fend for yourself before you where grown
    An they expect for you carry such a heavy stone
    Asking ”where’s god when gristle meets the bone”
    I promise you if there ain’t one you still not alone
    his sand prints well help me guide you home
    so don’t cry lonely girl cause you no longer alone*


    as the lead harden the pencil I sharpen the mental
    let me go head an start where I left off not that im forgetful
    its sad but true lonely Ashley gave me the blues
    thought I had it bad till she opened up like a bottle of booze
    revealing how her father incested and mother never believed
    peeling her daughters heart from the chest like a necklace snacthin thieve
    Ashley began to convince herself it was happening
    But daddy ran into the wrong fence and she wasn’t imagining
    Chester molested another girl who chose not be victim
    Her aggressor arrested and the courts rose to convict him
    Behind the bars and bricks karma hit like a ton of dicks
    Time scars but never forgets and her brothers next on the list
    Who was just as, if not more sicker than the ones who dicked his sis
    What goes around comes full circle an back around to you
    Goes to show her bro is now found with his draws around his ankles too
    In some cell on some block getting cock
    on the clock every hour on the dot
    whether theres a god or not
    the weather wont stop till you pay for every drop
    theres only two things that I know for sure
    everything finds it way back around and death with no cure




    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ld-383199.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ss-383334.html
    Last edited by Mr.Profit; November 26th, 2008 at 09:14 AM

  2. #2
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    Re: "LONELY and COLDHEARTED" in memory of Ash

    uppin

  3. #3
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    Re: "LONELY and COLDHEARTED" in memory of Ash

    i see how it is

  4. #4
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    Re: "LONELY and COLDHEARTED" in memory of Ash

    i like this piece, you had a good idea for a story, and ran some nice multi's but i dont think the idea fully devoloped. dont get me wrong it was good, i felt the pain for the girl you know? and the hook or refrain was nice, a bit choppy but had emotion. i just think u could have developed the story line a bit more clearly? but regardless fam good drop

    rtf on http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...53#post6732553
    Last edited by Werd; November 28th, 2008 at 10:03 PM

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  5. #5
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    Re: "LONELY and COLDHEARTED" in memory of Ash

    thanx homie i just spit this out off the top...imma refine it and fine tune it becouse i know i didnt exactly say what i wanted to say...your right though the story line just didnt focus into what i wanted to focus on....its just its hard to tell a story,rhymes with multis , and still say exactly what u wanted to say....but thats why i do keystyles that way im constantly challenging myself....

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