A Song of Love.

[Ntalek]

A Song of Love
Ntalek and abiona


Your body speaks
with a subtle sway of wording.
Love me,
guide me into your florescent
world of casual sex,
candles and melting chocolate.
While the rose pedals whisper
melodic tunes and the sheets
play precussion. Turning
a silent stare into a romatic song,
as your eyes speak louder
than the cursed words.
through the verse I hear
soft moans where once laid adlibs.

"as I listen
to the rhythmatic
sound of springs
beneath this sultry mattress."


sounds of springs give way to
sounds of Spring-
-time blossoms
tossed as pillowed kisses
blooming upon skin
incandescent; resting slips of lips
'cross canvassed bodies
betwixt the satin of sheets
ropelike and twisted
like rose colored serpents
snaking between legs and limbs
wrapping outlines of whispers
with the velvet crescendoes of
of unnamed passions throes...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...on-377878.html

[Martyr]

I tell you what, that abiona chick has a future on this site.

Anyway, this piece was written beautifully. Ntalek did a great drop at setting the tone of this poem early on, and abiona did an excellent job at finishing it off. Great descriptions/metaphors from the both of you. Also, I have to comment on the word choice/wording, it was great from both, especially on Abiona's part. You guy's meshed well together! Thanks for the feed on my piece; the both of you.

[Miho]

Not bad...not bad at all.

While the rose pedals whisper
melodic tunes and the sheets
play precussion. Turning
a silent stare into a romatic song,
as your eyes speak louder
than the cursed words.
through the verse I hear
soft moans where once laid adlibs.

That read so beautiful...
Had to re-read that about 3 or 4 times.

As far as the last stanza...I can't even quote that bad boy...

Love the subtlety of it all.
How long did this collabo take you guys?

[Know-It-All]

This is a very well written poem by two of my favorite writers.

While the rose pedals whisper
melodic tunes and the sheets
play percussion. Turning
a silent stare into a romantic song,
as your eyes speak louder
than the cursed words.
through the verse I hear
soft moans where once laid adlibs.

I loved the wordplay here, and I loved the soft spoken images and they really set the tone for this poem. I really loved how the feeling of lust can be felt through the words written.

sounds of springs give way to
sounds of Spring-
-time blossoms
tossed as pillowed kisses
blooming upon skin
incandescent; resting slips of lips
'cross canvassed bodies
betwixt the satin of sheets
ropelike and twisted
like rose colored serpents
snaking between legs and limbs
wrapping outlines of whispers
with the velvet crescendos of
of unnamed passions throes...

This is my favorite stanza of this poem because the imagery is excellent. I loved the emotion this stanza brought drew me into a world of excellent vocabulary and intense metaphors. This was a great way to end this poem.

Overall, This poem was very well written with excellent vocabulary, and tons of emotions spilling through the words. I loved how it seems like there is love between you two but it feels lustful. I loved how each stanza melted together with two separate styles that compliment each other. very well written. HOF nom.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ht-378024.html

hit this please.

[Ntalek]

cool..I'll hit it up...

[Spoken Deity]

short read...so short feed...
The imagery in this was awesome, aswell as the depth. Very emotionally tugging. The descriptions were nice as well as vocab. The two verse molded well together with the quote inbetween and I felt that the styles didnt conflict at all.
I like this alot

[Ntalek]

ups..

[Lammy]

sounds of springs give way to
sounds of Spring-
-time blossoms
tossed as pillowed kisses
blooming upon skin
incandescent; resting slips of lips
'cross canvassed bodies
betwixt the satin of sheets
ropelike and twisted
like rose colored serpents
snaking between legs and limbs
wrapping outlines of whispers
with the velvet crescendoes of
of unnamed passions throes...

Abi I know your work any where .. beautiful ma.

Good work you two ..

[Twixn...]

tossed as pillowed kisses
blooming upon skin
incandescent; resting slips of lips
'cross canvassed bodies
betwixt the satin of sheets
ropelike and twisted
like rose colored serpents

you're welcome.

[David P]

Lol^.

Nice read though, the emotion was real nice, was was the imagery
throughout the piece, at first i couldnt tell where you guys were
going with it, but then i started to see how you were grasping
the concept. keep writing.

RTF.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-378194.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ne-378186.html

[Ntalek]

*getting to the links now and thx*