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Thread: HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

  1. #1
    deadin the competition Vaskez's Avatar
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    HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

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  2. #2
    We Got 6, How Many U Got? Jay. Walker's Avatar
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    Re: HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

    yep

  3. #3
    Merk Squad
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    Re: HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

    hello

  4. #4
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    Re: HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

    I'll be going around 36 or 40.

  5. #5
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    Re: HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

    Did you forget it's due now? Wtf @ these no showers


    had my scratch pad n' pen ready, tore off a sheet holding my saber
    but once I knew I was facing Jay I just started rolling my paper
    last time you signed out like a bitch, now you try n' drop hard probley
    you'll come out guns blazing.. still burning next to your charred body
    I'm your mentor. your idol whatever you droppin it's no stress
    been followin my footsteps so long you started stompin your own chest
    you're ugly n' lonely. while bitches wanna bone me. no need to prove it
    ya girl says I'm mouth watering, but that's just my dick releasing fluid
    I spit that flame nice. homie I'ma show you what servin game like
    beat you so bad, you'd rather be Tina in the middle of hurricane Ike
    been in every crew I've created. It's cuz you know I'ma genius pal
    we shared a special bond.. but please remove your lips from my penis now
    I remember those days, we were tight. We used to bust rap winners
    homie I won't roll with you now, cuz J dub look like them hubcap spinners
    I'ma terrorist to nervous punks. but I bring the bomb on the stealth
    n' bitch you only survived 9/11 cuz I didn't drop til the 12th
    just stop with the pretendin, cuz everytime ya bland spittin worsens
    n' you'll always be the type to lose. until they allow hand written verses
    appear to be worthless, I'll beat ya head down so ya grill in ya collar
    but if you valuable.. then all your threats are worth millions of dollars
    I spit like two macs with extended clips.. I let em both go ignited
    n' all you got is a rubber grip pump that gets a homo excited
    just a talker, not a champ dog you ain't the type to squab a chalker
    but watch I'ma give you the HW Title.. aka the Hobbled Walker
    I'm explosive when I'm riled up, so alotta chumps shook to fight me
    everyone knows I gotta short fuse.. n' your dumb ass took it lightly
    the win? despite all the braggin faggot I knew you couldn't swing it
    shoulda left your verse at home... we already knew you wouldn't bring it



    28.

  6. #6
    your biological father Deon's Avatar
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    Re: HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

    no show feed.

    had my scratch pad n' pen ready, tore off a sheet holding my saber
    but once I knew I was facing Jay I just started rolling my paper

    eh, doesnt strike very hard.

    last time you signed out like a bitch, now you try n' drop hard probley
    you'll come out guns blazing.. still burning next to your charred body

    not bad. a slightly diff approach woulda made this better.

    I'm your mentor. your idol whatever you droppin it's no stress
    been followin my footsteps so long you started stompin your own chest

    loolz nice

    you're ugly n' lonely. while bitches wanna bone me. no need to prove it
    ya girl says I'm mouth watering, but that's just my dick releasing fluid

    not bad

    I spit that flame nice. homie I'ma show you what servin game like
    beat you so bad, you'd rather be Tina in the middle of hurricane Ike

    heh. funny visual. i told my grandmother on the phone yesterday Ike would be cool if he still had Tina


    been in every crew I've created. It's cuz you know I'ma genius pal
    we shared a special bond.. but please remove your lips from my penis now

    solid personal

    I remember those days, we were tight. We used to bust rap winners
    homie I won't roll with you now, cuz J dub look like them hubcap spinners

    eh

    I'ma terrorist to nervous punks. but I bring the bomb on the stealth
    n' bitch you only survived 9/11 cuz I didn't drop til the 12th

    hmm ok

    just stop with the pretendin, cuz everytime ya bland spittin worsens
    n' you'll always be the type to lose. until they allow hand written verses

    creative. doesnt sting as hard. but the creativity shows through

    appear to be worthless, I'll beat ya head down so ya grill in ya collar
    but if you valuable.. then all your threats are worth millions of dollars

    nah

    I spit like two macs with extended clips.. I let em both go ignited
    n' all you got is a rubber grip pump that gets a homo excited

    its like ok, but not ok..eh, the line just gives mixed signals, idk man

    just a talker, not a champ dog you ain't the type to squab a chalker
    but watch I'ma give you the HW Title.. aka the Hobbled Walker

    setup is kinda wordy, the punch is eh i've seen these kinda lines they just random

    I'm explosive when I'm riled up, so alotta chumps shook to fight me
    everyone knows I gotta short fuse.. n' your dumb ass took it lightly

    made me chuckle

    the win? despite all the braggin faggot I knew you couldn't swing it
    shoulda left your verse at home... we already knew you wouldn't bring it

    and he didnt


    overall, not bad. a lil better than last week in spots. still consistent for the most



    .Dohpe.

    .Been There-Sonned Cats.

  7. #7
    deadin the competition Vaskez's Avatar
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    Re: HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

    if spit grants the extenion, jay can post till end of today EST

    -2 votes jay

  8. #8
    Merk Squad
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    Re: HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

    Quote Originally Posted by Vaskez View Post
    if spit grants the extenion, jay can post till end of today EST

    -2 votes jay
    No extension

  9. #9
    deadin the competition Vaskez's Avatar
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    Re: HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

    ok. Spit wins +3 and I've undeleted hotdog's feed so you can see it

    Jay -3 and gets do or die (dude, pls let me know if you plan on signing out instead so I dont give you a battle for nothin)

  10. #10
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    Re: HW Title: $pitacular (31) vs. Jay Walker (18)

    Feed:

    You have a lot of good concepts, as always. Mostly good wording too. The only thing I would definitely suggest you should work on is your set ups... sometimes the wording causes the flow to seem unnatural.

    just stop with the pretendin, cuz everytime ya bland spittin worsens
    n' you'll always be the type to lose. until they allow hand written verses

    ^ that being an example... the concept was good... you executed it pretty well, and it was overall, a good line. But the setup seemed forced to me.

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