Hanging With Mr. Cooper - Week 5

[-Coop-]

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Hanging with Mr. Cooper
Week 5

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-Introduction-
AHA!

I predicted it.
Niggas was gettin all butt-hurt and mad over the honesty in my last mag.

I loved it, so yes.... I'ma write another one.

This week featured the first regular season champ match of season 9,
only ONE no-show, and some promising sign-ins.

Oh and sad news... Bernie Mac died Saturday, what the hell is this world comin to?

Let's get to it.

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[-Coop-]

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-This Week In Five Words-
R I P Bernie Mac

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[-Coop-]

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-Bitchassness-

This week one person no showed.
My opponent.

• Medichi, you loser. First time anybody's ever heard of you and you no-show.
  Fuck outta here.
  

I just can't understand how you no-show. You have 5 days, 120 hours, to write at least 10 sentences.
How hard is that?
Write a punch a day damn.
I mean, I know this whole text thing aint important in the big scheme of life,
but that aint an excuse. Don't sign in if you aint gon do it.

I hope my next opponent finally shows.
.
.
.
.
.
So Bitch-ass Medichi, while you're the BIGGEST bitch here, there are quite a few others who are trying to cuddle with you in that gay-ass category, cuz they're "too cool" to vote:

Axeshun, you only voted once. I mean, did you WANT to go back to Junior?

Tony, only voted once in protest of gettin his ASS HANDED TO HIM by Ancel.

Born To Kill, was too busy lookin for his Viagra pills to notice he missed three votes. You might've left them in your dentures cup, check there.

Qualm & BronzeAtlas, were too busy having make-up sex after their battle to vote at all.

Daz, you missed out on a vote. Get ya life together.

Cry, you only voted three times, hence gettin your dumbass ass KOed and kicked the fuck out. Which coulda been avoided with one more vote. Hence I repeat, dumb. ass.

Spit, you missed a vote. You cocky, arrogant bastard with your "I can KO yall w/o voting enough" mindset... damn I hate you lol

Yall are wack, and need to step it up, bitches.
.
.
.
.
.
Oh, one other note of bitchassness.

Jay Walker won last week's contenders match, which woulda put him in the Champ match this week against Spit. And seeing as how he's scared of Spit... Jay signed out.

Smh...


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[-Coop-]

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-Battle Reviews-

Daz (-1) vs Cry (0)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...az-374210.html

My Prediction:
Daz
Length of Battle:
18 Lines

Recap:
Cry dropped first, 18, with an emphatic "fuck fallin off..." at the end.

Not quite man, not quite.

The square punch was alright, and the spark punch was pretty good. If the rest woulda been like that, he woulda won. But it wasn't so.

Daz's smack line was creative, but how the fuck we supposed to remember the slogan from that cereal? Haven't seen that shit in years. And man, he almost lost it with this one:

"And men never cry so nigga you must be a bitch."

Wow, really? There was a lot of lazy shit in this verse like that, but he made up for it with the tie the knot, lines of garbage, and mayweather lines. So basically, both had a couple of good lines, but both were inconsistent as well, which usually happens when you go that many lines in a battle.

Spit brought somethin to my attention in this battle that I'll go over in more detail later.

********************
Cry's best:
his acts awkward to most, so fake he makes his enemies clever
but I figured you out... it's called four connected sides and an empty center
you show no skill but it's claimed daz is prosperous - he's gettin' crafted
well, when you find your spark... we'd rather ya be IN water when it happens

VS

Daz's best:
You must be a nerd there's no way you sold drugs keep it real dude
Cuz with that many lines of garbage every fiend alive would be trying to kill
you
You know it cry. you better look at your girl with open eyes
& when you tie the knot..make sure that ugly bitch chokes and dies.

********************

Cry's Verse:
6/10
Daz's Verse:
6.5/10
My Vote:
Daz
Winner:
Daz (4 - -1)

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Qualm (3) vs BronzeAtlas (0)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...lm-374206.html

My Prediction:
Qualm
Length of Battle:
14 Lines

Recap:
Man, Qualm got lucky here, drawing an opponent whose style is kinda iffy.

Me personally? I wasn't feelin jack shit. The insulating punch that everyone else seemed to like just didn't do it for me. Idk why, I think the wording just made it ineffective. His whole verse was just average. Qualm was good last season, seems to have fell off.
It's that sophomore curse I tell ya.

Bronze is from another site, I wanna say RM, and you can tell.
He had minimal wit in his lines. More than half of them were just statements.
Everybody said the seizure shit is played, but I honestly have never seen it,
so I was kinda feelin that, but thats about it.

"Tell ya to think outside the box, but that would mean leaving ya house."
That's 2964329 years old.

"You were only picked to beat me, cuz folks here never seen my name before."
Man wtf, is that a punch? A lot of his shit was like this.

Ya'll niggas are insane. Jr. league? Fuck, I will son 95% of this league.

Yeah... seeing that Qualm is not even in the top five, and there's only 18 people in here, that means at LEAST 1/3 of the league is better than you. Seems like your math is a little off...

Lol @ people comin from other sites automatically assuming they are the best cuz they are good on their wack site.

5 dollars says he blames it on wack RB voting.

Go to Jr.

Neither of these niggas voted at all! So they're both out.

********************
Qualm's best:
Brought an ego, thinkin he's hottin things up now brother's bleedin
You aint insulating here, ya body'll be pumped into the walls for other reasons

VS

BronzeAtlas's best:
And as far as skill, voters know what your about.
Soon as they "seizure" verse, they faint and start to foam at the mouth.

********************

Qualm's Verse:
5.5/10
BronzeAtlas's Verse:
4/10
My Vote:
Qualm
Winner:
Qualm (-1 - -10) Wtf

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CONTENDERS: Jay Walker (6) vs Born To Kill (6)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-374201.html

My Prediction:
Jay Walker
Length of Battle:
16 Lines, Contenders

Recap:
So Jay dropped his 16 first. He's still rusty. He had about 3-4 good punches. His wording is good, but still
isn't great yet. Some concepts were kinda wack too.

"oh niggas… describes ya skill reading it backwards"
Hell nah man. Saggin ho? That's reachin...

Seems like he went for a more comical approach than a harsh, mean one. You should be mean instead.

And what's up with the all caps? Lookin like a FL battle in there

Born then dropped his 16. He was a lil better this week than I usually see him drop. The Gitmo (even though I've never heard of it) was well-worded, the consuming shit was ok. But still, there wasn't enough wit in the verse to keep me interested. Wordings still a problem here too.

One thing I found funny in this battle was in the voting.

Nearly everybody's shit is hidden, and everyone voted for Jay. Then Warming votes and puts
"I'll think I'll go against the grain and vote for Born..."

Now, hold on...

ISN'T THE WHOLE POINT OF HIDDEN VOTING THAT YOU DONT LOOK AT OTHER VOTES BEFORE YOU VOTE?

Hmph. Warming you told on yourself there.

********************
Jay's best:
the differences between us is leavin the battle slanted cat
my verses are hefty… urs belong in a bag branded that
‘n yo, ya ho’s loose as shit, swallowin dick like its for dinner
the way four fit in her…
YOU’D THINK THAT BITCH WAS A BORN QUITTER!

VS

Born's best:
Ya all hip hop, but bitch, stop...get your fill of something else, kid...
Since ya always consuming rap, ya rhymes are doomed to turn to shit.

********************

Jay's Verse:
7/10
Born's Verse:
6.5/10
My Vote:
Jay Walker
Winner:
Jay Walker (8 - -5)

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Warming (6) vs Axeshun (6)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ng-374202.html

My Prediction:
Warming
Length of Battle:
16 Lines

Recap:
Ok. Axe dropped some shit that showed Jr had rubbed off on him. I was feelin a lot there. I mean:

"The closest you got to writing fire...is doodling flames"
That's like, the closest you got to writing dope, is drawing some drugs
No creativity there.

People were feelin his 'blue beat u' punch, but I wasn't, and I'll explain that in another section. His warming n/p punch was played, but decently worded.
This dude's been decent in the past, just gotta shake off the dust.

Warming has been crap 2 weeks in a row before this...

and was still pretty crap. He just got extremely lucky and got a jr. opponent. I thought the cleavage line was pretty good....

and...

yeah, that's about it. Absolutely no consistency in this battle.

Warming ended up takin it w/ a KO after axe didn't vote enough.

********************
Axe's best:
I've been running shit a while, u on a 2 win streak & ur already winded
so If you're Warming now, that must mean weren't hot to begin with

VS

Warming's best:
this maggot ain't ready, man up, i bust plenty,
axes are used to cleavage so why's this fag yet to touch any

********************

Axe's Verse:
5.5/10
Warming's Verse:
5.5/10
My Vote:
Warming
Winner:
Warming (5 - -3)

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Ancel (1) vs Tony B (0)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...el-374209.html

My Prediction:
Ancel
Length of Battle:
12 Lines

Recap:
Tony B dropped first. He did a bit better than I thought he would.

There was a lil controversy over his misrepresent/represent or w/e line. Warming didn't get it, Tony said it was simple... lemme clear it up:

g'luck

I holds it down for MD..You hot? ha! i'm heaven sent then
He represents my last post minus the letter that best misrepresents him

That shit was the worst-worded punch in the whole battle. It was creative, but damn reading the shit out loud, it sounds like a fuckin math problem. Work on ya wording.

Yeah, the ahh shit punch was horrible, nominated for worst punch of the week. The let-down punch was aight. Very up n down here.

Ancel had some ok shit. Role model was cool, donkey and changed man were aight, even tho the changed man one has been done before. The trait of a bitch punch was weak. Overall, Ancel had enough to come out on top, quite easily.


********************
Tony's best:
I holds it down for MD..You hot? ha! i'm heaven sent then
He represents my last post minus the letter that best misrepresents him
Season 8, niggas was dead WRONG..lol @ the thought of u champin shit
Cuz ur more of a let down than ya girl's jeans are to ya relationship

VS

Ancel's best:
can't understand my rhymes? thats because ya mentals diminished
but you MUST be a roll model, 'cause we never see ya head stop spinnin'
too quick with that dirt shit, you in here will never happen again
even if you donkey your verses, we still know you bring ass to a pen

********************

Tony's Verse:
6.5/10
Ancel's Verse:
7.5/10
My Vote:
Ancel
Winner:
Ancel (9 - -8)

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CHAMP MATCH: Vaskez (11) vs $pit (11)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ez-374200.html

My Prediction:
$pit
Length of Battle:
16 Lines

Recap:

This match was a highly anticipated match, the #1 vs #2. Vas dropped first, 18.

Now keep in mind last week he dropped like 40, so you'd think he would be outta concepts.

Well, he wasn't but the verse wasn't up to par with his ironman match. Still, a pretty solid verse, better than the average LLL shit so far.

I was in no mood to battle last week, just had other stuff on my mind and was barely thinkin of any shit, wasnt motivated at all, so yeah, that's the explanation lol @ intimidated. I've faced Spit before and beaten him (ok he's won more) but still, when I write like I did against chrit I can beat spit as well, he's just more consistent on the wins. dont ever think I'm intimidated lmao

Oh ok, that explains it.

Spit dropped some heat. Coach line was hilarious, and the modify one was just mean. That's what sets his shit apart, it's just plain mean/harsh/whateva you wanna call it. People, take notes.

********************
Vaz's best:
jokes, songs...you write in alotta forms, seems this slut's the deeper
s'justa shame ya disses read like poems...
...and your stories are the insults to readers
use some tags, cos most ya shit's embarrassing and hopeless, freak
ya verse got more content that should be hidden than all the votes this week

VS

$pit's best:
we tell you constantly you suck.. but yet you still ain't switchin that
Vas you wouldn't even modify decide to ask for the position back
I'm whorin you fast. Amature. I swing you're takin the hook first
you need a coach, cuz that knock off purse is just makin you look worse
take it like a man. or I'll leave a ducking fag bloody n' bashed
I made a joke outta you.. but it's so fucking sad nobody would laugh

********************

Vaz's Verse:
7.5/10
$pit's Verse:
8.5/10
My Vote:
$pit
Winner:
$pit (9 - 0)

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BATTLE OF THE WEEK

Horud Skys (6) vs Advisory (0)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ud-374203.html

My Prediction:
Horud
Length of Battle:
10 Lines

Recap:

Why is this the battle of the week you ask?

Because it's one of only TWO battles where both battlers voted the requirements. And it was finally a 10-line battle. (I'ma have a section on that later). AND it was the closest battle this week. Props to you both.

Anyways, Advisory surprised the fuck outta me. His first two lines were good. Lol @ the grey goose one, that was good. Nosedive was cool too. The rest of the verse was bad, but those left a good impression.

Horud, on the other hand, his shit was all the same. I swear it felt like I was reading the same punch after punch. Idk, maybe it's just me. It was all just... 'ok'. It was just boring to me. Ad left a bigger impression, so he got my vote. Other's were feelin HS's steal punch. W/e...

********************
Ad's best:
let you hang a noose... chokin you, you're fakin when you facin the heat
call me grey goose, cuz everyone knows skys a cheap immitation of me
in yur prime u was decent fam, but now yur inna shape to barely fight back
`N wit the olympics commin up.. You'd win the gold witta nosedive like that

VS

Horud's best:
plz u weak, dont claim your original or fresh everything u drop is played
Ya styles a big steal, that could knock the world back into the Industrial age

********************

Ad's Verse:
7/10
Horud's Verse:
6/10
My Vote:
Advisory
Winner:
Advisory (6 - 5)

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Keywerd (6) vs Inhuman (0)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rd-374207.html

My Prediction:
Keywerd
Length of Battle:
16 Lines

Recap:

Inhuman dropped his 16 first. Then Key came on and said he needed an extension cuz he was GOING TO A PARTY. Get the fuck outta here, I woulda said fuck no nigga, you shoulda wrote beforehand.

But I guess Inhuman's a nice guy.

Only like, 3-4 people voted for this battle, with the majority for Keyed. But he was late and lost cuz of his lateness (-2 votes).

SUCKS FOR YOU NIGGA, POST ON TIME NEXT TIME YOU MIGHT GET MORE THAN 3 FUCKIN VOTES

Inhuman's verse was actually decent for being a Jr. head. He definitely had the creativity, some concepts were good (keyboard, entrance door), some, not so much (impact, gallon) but it was a decent verse. Key had a coupla hits as well. But some were just wack... the opener? Nah. The alienated one? Nah...

"'cuz if a girl tells him to beat it...they're referring to the egg in his shoe"
Egg in his fuckin shoe? Wtf does that even mean?

But yeah, most of the voters voted for Keyed, but he lost anyways.

********************
Inhuman's best:
don't you get it dumbass? ur the epitamy of what RB hates
keyboard the ladies, so when he Enter's they Escape
entrance match? lmfao come on Vas, you have got to be jokin
i've got the Key in the palm of my hand, so the entrance door's practically open
you've got no allies on your side, so you'll get jumped like its checkers
plus you always reapeat yourself, not to mention your broken record

VS

Key's best:
need a tissue? winnin' this battle, you have a better chance in a fist fight
'cuz you're whac, if LLL gave you a thumbs up its to help you hitch hike
bitch, dyke...I'm gonna sweep the votes in so quicc they'll call it a rig
'n if you think your sicc..
I'll give you and over-the-counter medicine that resembles ya sig

********************

Inhuman's Verse:
7/10
Key's Verse:
6/10
My Vote:
N/A (Woulda voted for Inhuman)
Winner:
Inhuman (1 - 0, Technicality)

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-Coop- (2) vs Bitch-Ass Medichi (0)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...op-374208.html

My Prediction:
-Coop-
Length of Battle:
10 Lines

Recap:

Bitch-ass Medichi no-showed like a straight bitch.

Coop's Verse:
0.5/10
Bitch-Ass Medichi's Verse:
N/A
My Vote:
N/A
Winner:
-Coop- (No-Show)

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[-Coop-]

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-Best Verse of the Week-

Once again, Spit gets it.

Man you know we cool.. Vas don't take it personal


No way you can duel me. fucka mod. we all know who's pimpin it truly
n' Bitch.. I'll leave so many rings around your eyes the olympics'll sue me
I spit it the hardest. Don't try to act famous. forget it ya harmless
n' you gotta wack following. cuz everything after your set ups is garbage
we tell you constantly you suck.. but yet you still ain't switchin that
Vas you wouldn't even modify decide to ask for the position back
All this 'hidden content'? It's gay homie who cares who started first
I don't get it, you hide ya votes.. but you'll display a retarded verse
What's worse? I tore it in half, so hungry when I'm forgin my raps
you gotta be a bitch.. every V I ever ate had a clitoris attached
I'm whorin you fast. Amature. I swing you're takin the hook first
you need a coach, cuz that knock off purse is just makin you look worse
take it like a man. or I'll leave a ducking fag bloody n' bashed
I made a joke outta you.. but it's so fucking sad nobody would laugh
Listen jerk.. You got no class, act like you somethin spittin verse
dog I'm Back.. better than ever.. meanwhile your Frontin's gettin worse
don't try to step hard.. Im'a vet.. bet I'm sicker you get scarred
not to mention so scared, we'll watch you Jet quicker than Brett Farve

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-Worse Verse of the Week-

BronzeAtlas, easily:

Ya post on a couple sites, ya known right?
Knew ya weren't respected on RM, who'd figure the same on ya home site.
Ya close minded fuck, I'll be the reason ya bounce.
Tell ya to think outside the box, but that would mean leaving ya house.
And as far as skill, voters know what your about.
Soon as they "seizure" verse, they faint and start to foam at the mouth.
I bring the heat, the flames'll leave ya torched.
BronzeAtlas been had this shit in the bag, and left it flaming on ya porch.
Qualm is desperate, says he's bringin the noise.
This fag always screams that he's on top, only in a threesome with boys.
Toss ya out, watch me bash ya brains, mark.
Bronze will leave this kids head flapping, like Canadiens on South Park.
Q is a fag, a dude that voters seem to ignore.
You were only picked to beat me, cuz folks here never seen my name before.

Ya'll niggas are insane. Jr. league? Fuck, I will son 95% of this league.

No bitch, you wouldn't.

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[-Coop-]

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-Week 3 Highlights-

#5:Vaskez @ $pit
use some tags, cos most ya shit's embarrassing and hopeless, freak
ya verse got more content that should be hidden than all the votes this week

This was good because it's a punch about a recent event. It rhymes good, and the set-up is relevant. I think the 2nd lines wording is a bit awkward tho. It's the "got more content that should be..." part, just sounds weird. But it's a good punch.

7.5/10


#4:Cry @ Daz
you show no skill but it's claimed daz is prosperous - he's gettin' crafted
well, when you find your spark... we'd rather ya be IN water when it happens

This one disses him two different ways. The whole set-up and first part of the 2nd line is sayin how he has no skill, hasn't found a spark yet etc... That's good. Then the flip saying he wants him to find a spark while in some water is just mean, and it was unexpected. The set-up was a bit wordy, but good misdirection here.

8/10


#3:Advisory @ Horud Skys
let you hang a noose... chokin you, you're fakin when you facin the heat
call me grey goose, cuz everyone knows skys a cheap immitation of me

This was a funny one to me. I never woulda thought of that nameplay against Horud. The set-up's rhyming (hang a noose, grey goose) was forced, you don't have to make the first parts rhyme if it's gon look messed up. The punch was creative though, good one.

8/10


#2:$pit @ Vaskez
take it like a man. or I'll leave a ducking fag bloody n' bashed
I made a joke outta you.. but it's so fucking sad nobody would laugh

While the set-up wasn't the greatest, nor was it really relevant, the punch was witty and hit hard. Another one with two disses in it. He says he made a joke outta Vas, which is a diss. Then he mentions how Vas is so fucking sad (The 'fucking' part was necessary here, made it harsher) which is another diss. Good shit here.

8.5/10


#1:$pit @ Vaskez
I'm whorin you fast. Amature. I swing you're takin the hook first
you need a coach, cuz that knock off purse is just makin you look worse

Good shit here. A 5-syllable rhyme scheme here, nice. The whole first part of the punch makes you think the 'coach' he's referring to has to do with fighting. So the set-up did it's job. Then an excellent job with the misdirection here, not only is he dissin him sayin he's gay enough to wear purses, but they're not even real at that. Two disses, then sayin he needs a coach (in terms of fighting) is a third. Nice punch here. Actually made me lol.

9.5/10


Honorable Mention:Ancel @ Tony B
can't understand my rhymes? thats because ya mentals diminished
but you MUST be a roll model, 'cause we never see ya head stop spinnin'

First time I've seen a role model punch, and it's two in the same week lol. I just think the concept was creative, and this was well-worded enough to earn some attention. (Spinnin and diminished don't really rhyme tho)

7/10



Honorable Mention:Daz @ Cry
You know it cry. you better look at your girl with open eyes
& when you tie the knot..make sure that ugly bitch chokes and dies.

Haha, this was kinda funny. The set-up was relevant, and he had that rhyme scheme in three places, which is a bonus. I just think the misdirection here was great. Wasn't expecting it.

7/10



NEVER to be Mentioned:Tony B @ Ancel
The Entrance..or Exit - u ain't confident, them ..'s i see thru
U was like 'ahh shit!'..when u realized that i'd probably beat you

Lemme reveal what the voters wrote:

nah.. trying to hard for a personal
nah
nah
nah
hell no
saw it coming
this was gay

0.5/10



NEVER to be Mentioned:BronzeAtlas & Medichi

Ya'll niggas are insane. Jr. league? Fuck, I will get sonned by 95% of that league.

Well, I was thinking about going gay...

Yeah... just don't mention them.

-1/10


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[-Coop-]

------------------------------------------------------------
-Coop's Ratings & Rankings-
This is for the people currently in for week 5. LLL is kinda weak now man, wtf?
Oh, and if you have yet to battle this season, then it's impossible for me to put you in top 5. So don't whine about it.

Top-Ranked:

#1: $pitacular (4-0, 15)
Last year, it was John Hensley who stayed in the champ match week after week. This year it looks like it's gonna be Spit. Especially having to face Warming this week.

#2: Feeble Minded (2-1, 3)
The guy with the best chance of besting Spit. As of right now, I still think Spit better, but Feeble does have the best chance. We shall see how rusty he is, cuz he has to face:

#3: Vaskez (3-1, 10)
Lost to Spit last week, but still, that's his only loss. Seemed a tad burnt out after the ironman match, and was STILL able to post a better verse than half of these people in here. He'll be put to the test against Feeble this week.

#4: Coop (2-0, 4)
Yeah, this week we will see if I deserve to be here, seeing that I'm facing:

#5: Ancel (2-2, 5)
This guy drops like 2 dope punches a week, and finds ways to win. This week he'll be put to the test against Coop.

Above Average-Good:
Born To Kill
Lay Doubt
Meters

Decent:
Defcon 5
Apex
Kenny The G
Inhuman
Daz
Advisory
Keywerd

Writer's Block:
Warming
Horud Skys

Haven't Seen Anything Recent:
Mariah

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[-Coop-]

------------------------------------------------------------
-Coop's Crystal Ball-
My Record:
11-7

Last week I went fuckin 7-2 cuz I'm nice like that... This week a helluvalot of Jr kids are invading us, so it's gon be tough to judge cuz I haven't been followin them. Oh well...

Don't get mad at these, get motivated.

HW TITLE: Spitacular VS Warming

Wow. How the fuck...? Warming keeps on winning somehow. But this is a huge mismatch.

My Prediction: $pit

CONTENDERS: Ancel vs. -Coop-

Is it bad etiquette to predict yourself? Oh well, I am. I will exact my revenge nigga lol.

My Prediction: -Coop-

Born To Kill vs. Kenny The G

You know the funny thing? Kenny was arguably the best Jr. head, and BTK has been in a slump. I have Kenny with the somewhat-upset.

My Prediction: Kenny The G

Inhuman VS Mariah

This is a tough one. Inhuman impressed me with some of his concepts last week. Then I saw Mariah's drop in SAP a little bit ago, and it was impressive as well. This one's even. *Flips coin*

My Prediction: Mariah

Keywerd vs. Lay Doubt

I expect Lay to be rusty, but it should still be enough to overcome Key.

My Prediction: Lay Doubt

Daz VS Meters

Hmm... Idk if Meters will show lmao. But if he does, he'll probably take it.
Daz ain't a pushover though.

My Prediction: Meters

Horud Skys VS Apex

Apex was another Jr. head that's pretty decent. Horud dropped pretty blah last week. I have another Jr head toppin an "LLL" head.

My Prediction: Apex

FLEX BATTLE: Vaskez vs. Feeble
See, I would normally predict Feeble, but since this is a flex battle.....

I still will lol.
It's gonna be weird.

My Prediction: Feeble

Advisory vs. Defcon 5

This is a complete toss up to me.

My Prediction:Defcon

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[-Coop-]

------------------------------------------------------------
Coop's Corner

*****************
The Not-So-Great Depression
*****************

So apparently people think it's cool or useful to put shit like:

"meh"
"w/e..."
"ehh..."
"this was keyed..."
"i dont care..."
"i'm gonna kill myself..."

after their verses. What the FUCK is wrong with you?

Even if you know you suck, don't be a little bitch about it and let US know you suck! It's our job to TELL you that!

Even your comment at the end of your verse takes away impact, cuz some of these readers would have been on the border then saw your 'meh' and decided against you. Never down your own shit

Exactly.

Get your self-confidence up you pitiful excuse for an excuse for a bitch nigga. (Not directed at daz, just everyone who does this.)

*****************
FUCK The Past, It's About The Here & Now
*****************

There is one style of punch that someone uses EVERY damn week.

And I've commented on it a lot.

It's the one where you write about your opponent's loss last week or somethin similar.

Well, I'm tired of it! It's played! I definitely noticed it last season a lot, it seemed every week. This season, it's not as bad.

I don't feel like going through each and every battle to look for one, but just know, if I see one, I'm put a big fat "NO" underneath it.

If you don't know what I'm talkin about, its like:

u admire the great, the thing is you'll never be mention with the others
I mean Blue easily killed you, so it looks like I gotta beat u another color

...It was an ok punch, but idk, I just seem to notice every time someone uses one.



*****************
Bigger Is NOT Better
*****************

WHAT THE FUCK is up with the infatuation of going 16-20 lines every damn battle?

Lemme set this straight right now...

IF YOU SUCK, DONT GO MORE THAN 12.

This is so crucial, lemme repeat myself:

IF YOU SUCK, DO NOT WRITE MORE THAN 12 LINES UNTIL YOU DONT SUCK.

We got all these wack niggas going like 18 lines. Let's list the pros and cons of going a lot of lines, when you suck:

Pros:
...

Cons:

• You run out of concepts quicker
• People don't want to vote on long battles
• The quality of the verse goes down the longer it gets
• It makes you look like you suck even MORE cuz 16 bad lines is worse than
  only 10 bad lines
• You get called out in mags like this

Look, go ahead and write 20 lines or w/e, but don't put them ALL in your verse. Just cuz you wrote them all doesn't mean you have to use them all!

If you write a 10-line verse, and have ONE good punch, that's 20% of your verse that's good.
If you write 16 or 18 lines and have TWO good punches, thats 15% or ~12% of your verse that's good.

You have a much better shot of writing a good verse if you DECREASE the quantity.

Plus, people are more inclined to vote on shorter battles.

So here are the battles that need not exceed 12 lines this week, trust me:

• Inhuman vs Mariah
• Born To Kill vs Kenny The G
• Keywerd vs Lay Doubt
• Horud Skys vs Apex
• Advisory vs Defcon

Not sayin you suck, just don't go more than 12 cuz there's a good chance it wont be consistent.

I'm gon do this every week.

*****************
The Hidden Voting Trend
*****************

Ok, so thankfully the hidden voting thing started to catch on.

People, don't think "Oh, I'm too cool to hide my vote". Stfu and just do it.
Get with the program.

I think it made a little bit of a difference. Keep it going.

Although I STILL say we need the code where it is automatically hidden, like RV (or Braggin Writes, whoever did that shit), and you don't see anything until you reply to the thread.

Look, it will eliminate ALL possibilities of chain voting / influence. ALL of it.
And don't say the battlers won't see the feedback, because they will, since they already replied to the thread.
And don't say we'll have random niggas replying in the thread just to see the votes cuz you can make that a bannable offense.

There are absolutely NO cons, except maybe making Mic do a bit of work.

And don't say it's a miniscule problem either, cuz it DOES happen. People ARE influenced by reading others votes beforehand.

If you dont think so, you're wrong. Straight up.

Matta fact, I'ma make it a poll.

The only reason I can think of, of being against it is if you're one of the faggots who want to read people's votes before you vote.


The argument over hidden voting will be never-ending, until it actually happens, WITH THE CODE.

Cuz what we got now, people can still cheat. *looks at warming*

*****************
What's Goin On In Jr.?
*****************

Unfortunately for Junior, all their top people are gone. LMAO...

So those who are facing Kenny and Apex and Mariah, don't slack, they aren't pushovers.

The only good person left in my understanding is Generic Eric/Pro
.
.
.
Solidclipz and Chrit were kinda beefing.

Of course Chrit started it, the fuckin bully. Called Solid a douchebag (which... he is, look how he spells his fuckin name) then solid replies:

tell me something...

who actually told you that your actually good?

you suck man!!
battle me..i'll knock you thru your back bitch.

Ok, one of those colors represents truth, and the other, untruth. I'll leave that for you to decide.

Then Chrit goes:

How bout this...

30 lines... we can post it in this forum.
Loser gets banned.

for some reason that wouldnt go my way becuz your more popular than i am.
you spend your life savings stayin in touch with your e-net friends

THEN READ THIS:

rofl...

See, you know you aren't good enough to be me.
You talk shit until it comes time to back it up.

Got that?
Then this guy Peninsula goes, to Chrit:

I'll take that offer.

Then Chrit gets all humble and Goes:

Why would I even feel like battling you Eddie?

This Solid kid has annoyed the shit out of me since day one... I'd like to see him banned...

At least you have some writing talent... so you can actually add to the talent here. All that other kid does is bitch and take up space.

Nahmean?

WHAT THE FUCK? He just accepted your battle, and instead of 'backin up your talk', you go and compliment him, change the subject and forget about any type of battle...

And the irony of ironies:

You are just too cocky for your own good.

You suck... and always have... yet you will talk shit to people you have no chance of beating.

Idk Chrit... I say you battle Pen with the ban. Redeem yourself, stop pickin on lil kids.

And Solid, if you're reading this.... just realize you have no right to talk shit to anybody. You suck, in JUNIOR. So shut up.
.
.
.
.
.
And I have to report this... the guy called Bullet?

He is a certified faggot.

He made a thread about "do you ever think about being a girl?"

Don't believe me?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=374621

Kill yoself ASAP.

------------------------------------------------------------

[-Coop-]

------------------------------------------------------------
-Random Tidbits-

You know that the "Contendors" match has been spelled wrong for forever? It's: contenders

Know what I watched this past week?
The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I forgot how good it was. Go watch it again. This week? The Matrix Trilogy.

That Madden 09 commercial where the two guys were talkin about gettin the game? Funny ass commercial.

If US basketball doesn't win the gold, I will assassinate somebody.

Brett Favre gets injured and misses more games this season than the past 17 combined. Aaron Rodgers throws 30 touchdowns. You heard it here first.

(Yes, I was watchin ESPN when I wrote this section)
------------------------------------------------------------

[-Coop-]

------------------------------------------------------------
-Closing-

Well, that's that.

I made fun of a lot of people. Don't take it personal.

Still, I wonder who will be the first to show how butt-hurt they are?

Don't matter.

Head to the site in my sig and click on ads.

Deuces.

------------------------------------------------------------

[Rant]

cool mag coop,

i like the confrentational mags personally

[Rant]

but yo, random, nemesis n peninsula are in jr still and are pretty decent.

[Kenny the G]

this mag was thorough as fuck. it really makes the league feel like a league, with not just the battles but the things that go on in the chats and other shit that keeps it from being one dimensional.

10/10.

[Vaskez]

LMAO @ the bitchassness section, good shit bro.

coop's corner section was dope!

Look, go ahead and write 20 lines or w/e, but don't put them ALL in your verse. Just cuz you wrote them all doesn't mean you have to use them all!

^^truth

even vets could use this advice

this mag was funny mayne, I hope you keep doing this cos it's the shiznit