Funky

[Mr. Wells]

My style is psychedelic, preserved, revealed and used now like a relic,
Can't you smell it? Flaming like hot as hell shit, hot enough to melt shit,
As a child, couldn't deal wit' it, now I dealt wit' it, might aswell dwell on it,
Cause there's no gettin' funkier than this, don't plan on farewell'in it,
Advancin' and excellin' it, moving fast from prison cell'in to hotel'in it,
Pent house suite, sellin' it like I was Columbian Cartel'in it,
But not Columbian, smokin' Cubans like I was Fidel'in it,
Attracting major attention as if I was school bell'in it,
Restoring it as if I was Gatorade Propel'in shit,
Real as shit, enough wit to enter Cornell with it,
But I'm done with it, ran enough runs with it.

Feedback per favor.

[antology]

I thought you had some nice multis but the wording was off becasue i couldnt really get a good flow outa this peice, but than again by the time i started reading it it was over, next peice you write make it longer, so i can get an idea of how you write man.
Return the feed to "fate aint planned".

[Open Mic Surgery]

to be honest..
i didn't like this one bit
the whole rhyming IT after every bar
15 times to be exact
3 times using the word "shit"
lol
that's all this piece consisted of
that ain't good
..especially when used in all 11 bars!
it bored me

you know what multi's are
you know what a rhyme scheme is
... that's obvious
i really think you could've done much better
keep writing..

[Mr. Wells]

Thanks for the feedback guys, I'll know what I need to improve.
However, I forgot to write that this was just a quickie that I did in like 5 minutes, I wasn't expecting a lot. My whole "rhyming 'it'" scheme was on purpose, fair enough if you didn't like it.

[Mr. Wells]

I hate to double post, but I'm weak when it comes to rapping terminology.
Multis = ?

[antology]

Here is a simple example of some multis.

"Its been a while but ill never retire,
too much tread on these tires for the flame to expire,
I inspire the mind of a writer like a lighter,
igniter of the fuel to burn in a fighter,"

[Mr. Wells]

So it's like Rakim's signature style?
Alliteration and assonance.