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Thread: The Man Who Laughs

  1. #1
    DreamSchemes Giant.'s Avatar
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    The Man Who Laughs

    A chuckle in silence, breaks the barrier of sound
    Click-Boom, no screams are heard, just the laughter of a clown
    Through the dark alleyway, steps a man with no remorse
    Holding a corpse, he is the source, of the bullet and it's force
    Upon his face, sits paint which would replace, any sign of humanity
    Sits a smile full of vanity, speaking softly of his insanity
    How can it be? That a clown can kill a woman then be cheerful
    Most men would be tearful....but he....isn't even fearful
    The body drops cold, from the bold, arms of the clown
    Smashing down, there he stands....his face without a frown
    Driven by chaos and anarchy, he marches freely to his own beat
    Step by step down a lonely street, looking for meat for his knife to greet
    You can't cheat against this dealer of cards, he's got a Joker up his sleeve
    He'll weave his way through the King's and Queens, all you can do is grieve
    Pin-Point his crimes on your graphs, grab the complete police staff
    As you search with no evidence....he will stand....he will laugh
    Here.&.There







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  2. #2
    DreamSchemes Giant.'s Avatar
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  3. #3
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    A dark knight inspired piece right? You came with nice imagery and kept it up to the end of this short piece, a good topic and well executed. The rhyme scheme could've been a lot stronger but that didn't have a big impact on the piece. The use of vocab was solid but not simplistic as well. I'm surprised i haven't seen more of these in OM. You're a topical head who's building for sure.

    Keep posting and please rtf: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...fe-374329.html

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  4. #4
    DreamSchemes Giant.'s Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    Yes, inspired by The Dark Knight. Glad you liked it. I'll RTF.
    Here.&.There







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  5. #5
    Town Rapist Ink Poyzin's Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    Not bad I agree with Johnny though. But being that it was short the imagery wasn't so bad and as said before it was well executed. Good job I liked it. Also being that this movie is long as fuck.. You could've made this MUCH longer. Like followed the whole scene and shit. But like I said it wasn't so bad... Much props to ya.

  6. #6
    DreamSchemes Giant.'s Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    Quote Originally Posted by ...Surgical... View Post
    Not bad I agree with Johnny though. But being that it was short the imagery wasn't so bad and as said before it was well executed. Good job I liked it. Also being that this movie is long as fuck.. You could've made this MUCH longer. Like followed the whole scene and shit. But like I said it wasn't so bad... Much props to ya.
    Thank You.
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  7. #7
    DreamSchemes Giant.'s Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    Just some random information...

    "The Man Who Laughs" is a novel and film that were the basis for Bob Kane's character...The Joker.


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  8. #8
    Newbie Phlow's Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    Ok...seeing that I just got back from watching this movie I couldn't pass...

    Everything said by all everyone else is true...

    The best I can put it is like...well...this is like a double shot of crown royal instead of the whole bottle...ya dig...

    Props
    ALL THE CITY SAW WAS THREE LIGHTS/THREE NIGGAS DEAD MADE THREE WRONGS INTO THREE RIGHTS//

  9. #9
    DreamSchemes Giant.'s Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    It wasn't stricly inspired by The Dark Knight, more so by The Joker himself.

    Thanks!

    Upped
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  10. #10

    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    not a bad piece, had a few nice multies and it flowed ok. imagery is the strongest selling point, im just not all that sure it suits rap. the jury is still out. not bad though.

  11. #11
    Wordbenders Jawn Raw's Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    this was a brilliant piece here. it started off really good and creative, it started to fall off in the second half though. some word choice seemed repetitive a little. overall this had nice flow and good imagery, i really enjoyed the emotion as well, very short drop but i really liked this read.

    rtf
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ow-374482.html

  12. #12
    DreamSchemes Giant.'s Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    Quote Originally Posted by Para. View Post
    this was a brilliant piece here. it started off really good and creative, it started to fall off in the second half though. some word choice seemed repetitive a little. overall this had nice flow and good imagery, i really enjoyed the emotion as well, very short drop but i really liked this read.

    rtf
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ow-374482.html
    Word, thanks man. You should errr nominate it? hahaha
    Here.&.There







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  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Redeye_Designz's Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    Flow and rhyme pattens on this were good, very smooth
    lines also fitted well gave them some edge too it

    Props

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    Lyrical Euthanasia

  14. #14
    DreamSchemes Giant.'s Avatar
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    Re: The Man Who Laughs

    Quote Originally Posted by Redeye_Designz View Post
    Flow and rhyme pattens on this were good, very smooth
    lines also fitted well gave them some edge too it

    Props
    Thanks, man.
    Here.&.There







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