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Thread: The End Of Me.

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    The End Of Me.

    The End Of Me.
    Written by,Nyce & Johnny 6-feet


    Nyce

    As i watch the blood streaming down my wrist,
    I recall life and its cruel and menacing twists!
    The pain people inflicted upon me...
    Emotional, physical, mental !
    The way they stared and gawked.
    Outcast, ostracized, forgotten........
    The cold starts at my fingertips,
    Gushing and dancing...
    The blood escapes my veins,
    As i see the end of society and all its pains..
    A tear falls from my eye,
    As i finally realize,
    Im going to die..
    So good bye to all of you who listened and cared,
    And go to hell for all who scorned and stared.
    The cold has seeped now into my face.
    As my heart begins to slow its ounce lively pace.
    My eyes grow hallow,
    My breaths become shallow.
    The razor falls from my hand....
    Hitting the floor with a metallic thud,
    As i smell nothing but the overwhelming odor of my own blood.
    A puddle of my “life” has now collected beneath me...
    I look and see my reflection.
    Gazing back I see a void,
    an empty body missing a soul....
    Some one who has endured so much suffering so much pain.
    The child who was ounce afraid of the rain...
    The boy played in his first recital...
    The teen who wished to disown his family and renounce his title!!
    My vision blurs,
    My emotions fade,
    My life is finished,
    As my will to live has been completely diminished!!!!!!


    Johnny 6-feet

    As the scene unfolds, individual lives become clearer.
    The Almighty and the Devil watch through a clouded mirror.
    Playing dice, making bets on the fates of men!
    And what drives one to success; another to the holding pen.
    What makes one cling to life through a trirade of tragedy,
    And another seek a noose, mind raped with falacy.....

    "Actually... it's all perspective of each individual
    Some don't believe in the spiritual or the chance of miracles."

    "Nonsense"
    replies God "There's no atheists in a foxhole
    The taking of ones life is an act of control
    If a person feels they're unraveling; caught in a whirlwind
    They put their feet in concrete, to anchor as the world spins."

    "So what's his judgement to be? Hell, Heaven or Purgatory?"

    "None of those, i'll give him the chance to re-write the story."


    And, like the rewind button on a vcr recorder
    God snaps his fingers once, to reverse the slaughter
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  2. #2
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Last edited by P. Mortuus; August 4th, 2008 at 10:59 AM
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  3. #3
    Town Rapist Ink Poyzin's Avatar
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    Re: The End Of Me.

    Nyce very dope way to start this off, and the imagery was sick. The flow stayed consistant throughout the whole verse, and you had alot of creativity.. Well structured, and very intense..

    Johnny I really liked your verse as well, and the flow was incredible. Good quotables, and good wordplay. You ended this nicely, with a little twist. Very good job, and well worth the read..


    Overall this was intense as fuck, like reading a Dean Koontz novel. Both of you stayed on track, and did very well with this collab. Alot of props, and respect guys. Especially to you Nyce, cuz you started it off. Staying on-point, and didn't throw me off... Which kept me entertained, and wanting to read more. Thank you guys, and keep writing.

  4. #4
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    Re: The End Of Me.

    yo nyce that was nice but be more carefull youre skiing on thin ice,keep a phase of your flow but like the whole verse like shit.cool

  5. #5
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The End Of Me.

    Thanks my dudes please more feed.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  6. #6
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The End Of Me.

    Up a real piece.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  7. #7
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The End Of Me.

    Wow my disses got so much attention and now this is being slept on wow.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  8. #8
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    Re: The End Of Me.

    Very dope peice man, started off strong and finished strong. Flow stayed on point, even though it some spots i found it hard to make it ryhme but it didnt really affect the peice. Had clean concept man very original which is hard to find these days. Overall sick peice man. 9/10.

  9. #9
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    Re: The End Of Me.

    I liked this, you really started with strong imagery, your flow wasn't exactly on point the whole time but thats expected in a topical, your language use was really poetic in fact this seemed like a poem. the one flaw that got to me was how you didn't use anything else in substitute for the word blood. "watching blood leave my veins" could have been "watching life leave my veins" but great drop Nyce
    To The End

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    I have hours, only lonely
    My love is vengeance
    Thats never free

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