Bird on a wire

[the_origin]

just a concept im workin on tell me what u think so far


safely perched upon my vantage point electric
thought i'd sing u a song to offer a fresh perspective
awaken the city daily but barely gaining attention
til i'm taking a shit then its "DEATH TO ALL PIGEONS"
invision my optical scope peep my depiction
hustle and bustle begins with the quickness
young misses, crying inside as her exterior glistens
masking feelings of hope that someday her family will listen
its 8 o clock small beings crowd the spot of the rolling box
bigger ones patrol the blocks i think these beings call them cops
hunger arises so i proceed to hover in silence
these beings are so aggressive i witness so much violence
carefully navigate thru thier places structured for nesting
some are moving alot while it seems others are resting
here in this intersection they perch themselves faithfully
they pass eachother things and then walk away gracefully




http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...en-373347.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ft-373427.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rd-373537.html

[milkizchillin]

i was feeling it a few times u fell off flow and 1 time u lost me but 8/10

[milkizchillin]

feed back this battle please sir.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ik-373561.html

[antology]

I dont know about this peice. I liked the topic cause it was original, you had some nice ryhmes, your vocab was alright but coulda been better. But it was an interesting peice and i would like to see it added on to make it longer.
Keep it up man.

RTF to My place on this page.

[the_origin]

good look on the feed uppin 4 more