Devil's Protégé

[CL3V3R]

Devil's Protégé:

Since birth I was cursed to spit verse after verse
Cause concern after concern
Destined to fight after fight these conflicts
Inside this man known as a convict
This man chained down, locked down
Heading no where but underground
Listening to the gates of hell open is just a wonderful sound
Call it hells bound
Since my hatters, spectators say I raise hell from dusk till dawn
So be it, ill be it call me the devils protégé
Take a look into my eyes, what do you see?
Its not pain, its not misery
It’s just corrupted soul with bullet wholes
Shot by the betrayals & lies of life
Emotions flow all over, theirs nothing that can control her
Time is not an issue
Time will leave & it will not miss you
How can u move forward towards the best when you think you take a step forward but actually you take two steps back
When you’re past attacks and the only way to stop it is to light up a fat sack
Then you fall onto a mat and your mind takes you to the location on the map
Where your dreamed crashed and you see a small flash of what you could have been
Then you realize that your whole life was just a big sin and you realize that the devil actually wins
So you drown your sorrows and you unleash straight horror likes theirs no tomorrow
The horns start to appear but their still hallow
So you borrow a 9 mm and you aim it straight towards your spirit and you make a decree that everybody can see and they can hear it
After all is said & done the trigger is pulled and the spirit is pierced and the horns officially appear
And yet you still steer through life causing chaos
Still facing face off’s
So in the end the devil and I agree
That ill always be his evil protégé

[Ink Poyzin]

put two links (from two pieces you left feed on) and ill hit this up with some feed aswell. thank you and welcome to RB.

[CL3V3R]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/member.php?u=62315
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...en-373347.html
Online

[antology]

Ill start with sayin good choice of topic man, original which is becoming rare these days. Your ryhmes could use a bit of work, like you had some good ryhmes in this peice but some of it i found very hard to make it rhyme same with ya flow, some parts were really good but other i felt went a bit of track. But overall man this was a good peice and i enjoyed reading it man. 8/10 keep it up.

[Trema]

ok Yets Judge Ya Drop..

devil's Protégé:

Since Birth I Was Cursed To Spit Verse After Verse
Cause Concern After Concern
^^^does Dat Even Rhyme?? (or Am I Just Buzzen?)


Destined To Fight After Fight These Conflicts
Inside This Man Known As A Convict
^^^i Liked Them Lines


This Man Chained Down, Locked Down
Heading No Where But Underground
Listening To The Gates Of Hell Open Is Just A Wonderful Sound
Call It Hells Bound
Since My Hatters, Spectators Say I Raise Hell From Dusk Till Dawn
So Be It, Ill Be It Call Me The Devils Protégé
Take A Look Into My Eyes, What Do You See?
Its Not Pain, Its Not Misery
It’s Just Corrupted Soul With Bullet Wholes
Shot By The Betrayals & Lies Of Life
Emotions Flow All Over, Theirs Nothing That Can Control Her
Time Is Not An Issue
Time Will Leave & It Will Not Miss You
How Can U Move Forward Towards The Best When You Think You Take A Step Forward But Actually You Take Two Steps Back
When You’re Past Attacks And The Only Way To Stop It Is To Light Up A Fat Sack
Then You Fall Onto A Mat And Your Mind Takes You To The Location On The Map
Where Your Dreamed Crashed And You See A Small Flash Of What You Could Have Been
Then You Realize That Your Whole Life Was Just A Big Sin And You Realize That The Devil Actually Wins
So You Drown Your Sorrows And You Unleash Straight Horror Likes Theirs No Tomorrow
The Horns Start To Appear But Their Still Hallow
So You Borrow A 9 Mm And You Aim It Straight Towards Your Spirit And You Make A Decree That Everybody Can See And They Can Hear It
After All Is Said & Done The Trigger Is Pulled And The Spirit Is Pierced And The Horns Officially Appear
And Yet You Still Steer Through Life Causing Chaos
Still Facing Face Off’s
So In The End The Devil And I Agree
That Ill Always Be His Evil Protégé

I Wasnt Really Feeling This Piece As I Thought Ur Rhymes Wasnt Sticking In Most Places..but Ur Topic Ayt U Just Need To Work On Actually Structuring Ya Shit Better And Work On Ya Rhymes..elevate G..keep At It.

[okletsgo]

I like the piece bro. As the other fellas have said little hit or miss on the ryhme scheme, but all in all nice work.

"Its Not Pain, Its Not Misery
It’s Just Corrupted Soul With Bullet Wholes
Shot By The Betrayals & Lies Of Life"

Thats pretty ill man. Keep it up!!

[AlphaMetric]

I didnt feel it man, didnt flow, wordplay was bad... over stretch lines.... try using some wordplay and making your lines a bit shorter.... RTL my shit