User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Untitled...

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1,851
    Battle Record
    3-0

    Untitled...

    she masturbates
    instead of crying
    over a love
    she thinks is dying.

    she believes
    her pussy
    has the power
    to will kingdom-
    cum
    let-a-lone
    earth-angels
    gone
    astray.

    love does not
    occupy itself
    with concerns
    of abandonment
    it owns itself
    and never leaves itself;
    but people do—
    those whom never knew
    and played guessing
    games in loneliness,
    life-path confusion,
    and pity.

    we love mirrors with
    over-confidence
    or
    self-disgust

    we reach equal reflections
    without balance—

    do you teeter on
    physical indulgence,
    narcissism,
    or hate
    who you perceive
    yourself to be?

    either way—
    god don’t like ugly.
    blessed are the meek,
    wise are those
    who know
    they know nothing—
    for everything is theirs to learn.

    you’re so vain
    i bet you think
    this poem is about you.

    fingers are not
    and were not
    meant to walk with.

    love does not die;
    but people who never had it
    will appear as ghosts.

    are you haunted?

  2. #2
    God Fist Spoken Deity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    10,266
    Battle Record
    26-9
    Awards PS Champion/IE Champion PC HOF PS HOF PS Season champ OM HOF Legendary PC

    Re: Untitled...

    i saw links

    I'll feed a bit later tonight... promise

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    926
    Battle Record
    11-5

    Re: Untitled...

    I thought that this was a solid piece. I'm sure why it was slept on so much but I think that it was good. The emotion was a huge part of this and I think that you portrayed it nicely. I thought that the content was nice. it was very consistent and overall it was a good read.

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    S.C.
    Age
    35
    Posts
    1,522
    Battle Record
    18-28

    Re: Untitled...

    haha...another great piece...man I love your tone in your pieces///its like you have this very strong very original....Poetic voice.
    Its hard not to be a fan of the stuff you write....but in this piece I thin kmyabe the structure was off just a little....Like some of the lines were just short kinda for the sake of it.....?

    Anyways dope piece Ledge...we could feel the emotion coming off of it.

    Dug the last line where you were like...Are you haunted?.
    perfect conclusion to the piece.

  5. #5
    as ain't Jamhuri's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Nairobi, KE
    Posts
    601
    Awards Haiku Season Champion

    Re: Untitled...

    some things are described better by what they are not. Probably love is one of them. nice concept, well communicated.
    wise are those
    who know
    they know nothing—
    for everything is theirs to learn.
    sure.

Similar Threads

  1. Untitled
    By Try U MPH in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: November 28th, 2006, 02:21 PM
  2. Untitled
    By ~lextownkillaz~ in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: October 29th, 2005, 09:17 AM
  3. Untitled
    By That_Guy in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: October 23rd, 2005, 06:49 AM
  4. Untitled
    By untitled in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: October 23rd, 2005, 12:03 AM
  5. Untitled.
    By Phillup Caskets in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: October 11th, 2005, 08:40 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •