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Thread: . the disease is killing me! .

  1. #1
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
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    . the disease is killing me! .

    my mind is a bubble and i dont mind if it rumbles.
    but often a sound so suttle will make it fall and crumble.
    so i cuddle with my pillow every night and every week.
    and sip a cup full of clarity and enjoy to watch what i drink.
    and i think how life in itself is amazingly terrible and wrong.
    i think about the wind blowing through my hands and consider jobs.
    working on songs about lifes wrongs until nothings left i turn right.
    stab the fork in the road in my neck to compensate for lack of knife.
    and in my own sight. i realize i have a lack of light and a lack of night.

    at the same time.

    nothing is empty but what is full is few my self comes into view.
    i think of you whoever you are my obstacle in getting through.
    bloods sing blues as my life of everlasting depression gets plastered.
    a pessimist? half full. no my glass seems to be already shattered.
    as if it mattered as a piece the glasses pieces up against my wrist.
    quick abrasions of my mind subdue my temptations to slit.
    a fall into the thick of it and meet a sinking monster with hands.
    and i fall into it and die. as if pussy was quick sand.


    *im still waiting for my rib!*
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

  2. #2
    GrAn THeF
    Guest
    yo son. this was a real good piece. your flow was as on point as could be. the rhyme structure was decent, the usage of multis is what made this piece though. the topic was hard to understand at points but maybe thats me idk.
    sickness on this piece.
    keep dispersin

  3. #3
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
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    it is easier if you peep the other one first. .the disease." thx
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

  4. #4
    undone Bruklor's Avatar
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    and sip a cup full of clarity and enjoy to watch what i drink.
    Wow!

    stab the fork in the road in my neck to compensate for lack of knife.
    Holy Christ...
    nothing is empty but what is full is few my self comes into view.
    Daayymmmnnn
    a pessimist? half full. no my glass seems to be already shattered.
    OoOoOoOoOhHhHhH!!!!
    and i fall into it and die. as if pussy was quick sand.
    Dagnamit! Yeah!

    This is why I am more then proud to have you in WP, and to know you...
    m
    ˈpɛr ˈse


    –noun

    by, of, for, or in itself; intrinsically.

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Rhombus's Avatar
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    I was feelin' this piece kidd...

    my mind is a bubble and i dont mind if it rumbles.
    but often a sound so suttle will make it fall and crumble.
    so i cuddle with my pillow every night and every week.
    and sip a cup full of clarity and enjoy to watch what i drink.
    Your wordage was very well rounded in this piece, a tad on the abstract route and that did a nice job for this piece. The flow was even more enhanced due to the internals used here, nice.

    bloods sing blues as my life of everlasting depression gets plastered.
    a pessimist? half full. no my glass seems to be already shattered.
    Again the flow was carried along here smoothly, I liked how you stayed here, giving us bits and portions of that abstract feel. The wordage again I have to mention was displayed very good, sign of great creativity.

    a fall into the thick of it and meet a sinking monster with hands.
    and i fall into it and die. as if pussy was quick sand.
    Wordage is great once again here kidd, the feel of this piece seems as though it was from an introspective point and how you feel about certain events. Emotion lacked a bit and that could have seperated this piece even more and made it more noticable, but the abstract feel and the wordage were enough to carry this piece along very well, nice piece...

    love...

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  6. #6
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
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    thx for feedback. upping.
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

  7. #7
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
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    upping for some feedback. greatly appreciated.
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

  8. #8
    Banned
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    Sweet as fuck mate!

  9. #9
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
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    thank you. uppers.
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

  10. #10
    UNFADEABLE
    Guest
    yo this was a very nice drop. flow was excellent. good wordplay. just a very nice drop all around. keepspittin

  11. #11
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
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    thank you. up again.
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

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