Son Of God

[Seedy]

im knocking doors down, running through ya house
Lord give me life, because i gotta feed these mouths
Lord i know honor is a trophy
these plastic seals looks clear as the ocean
I'm a king , i dont carry no disease
once that shell hit ya ya better hope ya get back to ya feet
its fear inspiring when my son serve me
i''ll never let him down, take him to the circus
I'm a angel and god do love me
i pray to god my son touch me
a lady on my mind i need to take a walk
she licking on my nipples she hit my spot
thoughts on my mind while i sip this henny
my hand go into my pocket i pull out a penny
marijuana smoke blow out my nostrils
i got my fitted cap on like frank sinatra
i'm somewhere in the desert bloodthirsty like my son
show me respect a king pullout his gun
i did, thats what he said
he also said kings usually end up dead





http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ek-372670.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...st-372650.html

[Spoken Deity]

this was horrible actually...
Youve got horrible imagery, bad rhymes, the flow was kinda off... You had nothing going for you on this piece...
Write about something different... Something that has nothing to do with weed and being thug and in the ghetto unless you do it well...thanks

[Tragedian.]

f u ^ he's dope as hell.

[Dekken]

Hes got emotion in the track, but that was so scatterd, u got the flow down pretty good just organize ur lyrics some...

[AlphaMetric]

this wasnt that bad, it's has its up and down, first off, this piece seem to flow real well., i can rap this with a nice beat and would sound quite nice... but.... you imagery seem to be a bit scattered and not well organized.... at points, there would be imagery then there would be none, just a line to make it flow ya know, try playing with your words and change it abit while adding a bit of imagery and this would be awsome.... alrite,,,

RTL my shit.. flip flop

[Seedy]

thanks for the feedback, more please

[Seedy]

uppin

[Cole Delavergne]

like the emotion ya tried to put in it ...ya flow is shakey at best ...ya imagery is cool then off ionno ...good thing is all this is shit you can fix with time man ..other then that cool drop

[Tejas.]

umm.. iuno if i like this to be honest. i had to read it a couple times to even understand what it was your talkin bout lol. flow was off n on n off n on. like some lines is short n then the next line, thas part of the same bar is like a million miles long. at times it jus seemed random as hell as well. i duno it was jus a really, hmmm.. random? piece. iuno i didnt really get it man.

these plastic seals looks clear as the ocean

^^ that dont flow well, the words dont like plastic seals looks. iuno its jus difficult to speak fluently if u kno wat i mean. i had to go back n reiterate.

anyawys, stay up.

[Soo Incredible]

this was horrible actually...
Youve got horrible imagery, bad rhymes, the flow was kinda off... You had nothing going for you on this piece...
Write about something different... Something that has nothing to do with weed and being thug and in the ghetto unless you do it well...thanks

LMAO Damn CutThoart.....But Your Concept was terrible no lie

[Seedy]

uppin

[Uben. Sonned]

Decent Emotion.
You Could Use This As A Definet Practice.
Work On Flow, Rhymescheme.

But Okay Emotion...
HIT UP THE
HNR PRODUCTIONS COLLAB

[Daze Got SkiiLL]

man this was a alright, set up written.
i think it could have been improved a little bit by maybe working on concept.

[uncontrollable flow]

LMAO Damn CutThoart.....But Your Concept was terrible no lie

Yeah, truth.com. I can see you got a lot of potential. But like everyone said, you did have good emotion on this piece.

[Seedy]

uppin