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Thread: Cant get back, Sinima beat....

  1. #1
    Its Me Dekken's Avatar
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    Cant get back, Sinima beat....

    A track I wrote 2 years ago to a beat by the Beast Sinima.......

    [Verse 1]
    Sometimes Im tryin, but these times are even harder
    and Im guardin only one thing thats left in my heart,
    I look up in the sky and I get lost in the stars
    just wishin I was diffrent but Im lost in the cause,

    and I have to admit, yea, the sufferings inadaquit,
    the pain it never changes, its flowin through the same veins,
    Im rackin up some change just to buy a pack of cigarettes
    2.50$ a 40, Ima die when my liver kicks,

    I dive in a river, never to be again
    Im never to see again and never to breathe again,
    I never make it to the end couse nothins makes sence
    sit and I pour it in text and bless you with a messige,

    of an intencely tensed up verse of words
    ya gotta hurt em and you curse em If you want to make em learn,
    you gotta warn em of the shame and the darkest walks
    you gotta ward em of the pain and let the heart just talk it,

    [Hook]

    [Verse 2]
    Ive prayed to god alot just to help me out
    but Im lien to myself, he aint helpin me out,
    god only helps those who help them selfs
    so I try to turn my life around and help my self,

    I wanna fly when I die not traped in hell
    I wanna make life worth livin and make it to tell,
    I wanna make it to the top and I dont ever wanna stop
    Im feelin so alive now Im feelin the shock,

    and I dont ever wanna leave so Im breakin this block
    inside of me thats turnin me with greed and evil,
    Im alert now, so Im learnin from people
    how Ill never make the same mistake they just made,

    but I swear it Ill change, though its hard to today
    baby Ill take another rout and maybe change my ways,
    so Ima take another path but Im keepin it hard top
    and keep it movein and keep it walkin untill my heart stops,

    [Hook]

    [Verse 3]
    See I hate life but Im headed in the right level
    I care about people everybody in the strugle,
    just keep hangin on it'll get better I promis
    couse if I could do it you could do it Ive burned in the lava,

    Ive felt so chewd up and used and bruised up
    and livin in this life Ive said Ive delt with to much,
    and livin in this cage in this painfull maze
    in the gates of hell where the flames is blazin,

    I swore to god Id give these people amazment
    and give em what they wanted though losein my pationents,
    they only want the best so Ima show em sucsess
    and Ima give em what they came for your damn for sure,

    that Ima give em what they paid for my name on a shirt
    my face and my pain though the poring rain,
    and my hate and my taste of what I call music
    nothin but the best and yea Im one to abuse it,

  2. #2
    Its Me Dekken's Avatar
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    Re: Cant get back, Sinima beat....

    Uppin...
    Come on i left all u guys feedback...

  3. #3
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    Re: Cant get back, Sinima beat....

    this is not bad, but you seriously lack in vocab, but your flow wasnt bad, it's dropped in some point but you kept it going,... next time try and use more complicated words.....

  4. #4
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    Re: Cant get back, Sinima beat....

    btw ur missing links....

  5. #5

    Re: Cant get back, Sinima beat....

    Quick break down

    Sometimes Im tryin, but these times are even harder
    and Im guardin only one thing thats left in my heart,
    I look up in the sky and I get lost in the stars
    just wishin I was diffrent but Im lost in the cause,


    Nice opening, flows well and interesting. Well thought out.

    I dive in a river, never to be again
    Im never to see again and never to breathe again,

    I never make it to the end couse nothins makes sence
    sit and I pour it in text and bless you with a messige,


    Deep and meaningful. Some people complain about repetativeness but i really like the underlined part. This part flows well.

    of an intencely tensed up verse of words
    ya gotta hurt em and you curse em If you want to make em learn,
    you gotta warn em of the shame and the darkest walks
    you gotta ward em of the pain and let the heart just talk it,

    Very nicely written and deep.


    Ive felt so chewd up and used and bruised up
    and livin in this life Ive said Ive delt with to much,
    and livin in this cage in this painfull maze
    in the gates of hell where the flames is blazin,


    I'm feelin this part. Its dope and my favorite part.


    Overal, very nice, room for a little improvement and the parts i've quoted are very good/dope. As a whole its deep.
    [YOUTUBE]HdUinYNgoek[/YOUTUBE]

  6. #6
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    Re: Cant get back, Sinima beat....

    Thanks Dudes...

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