Venus: Reaper of Glamour

[XM]

Written By:
Xtreme Malice: 1st.
Arc: 2nd.






Venus: Reaper of Glamour

Provisional caustions there'll be ripping of organs
Victims left morbidly split into twisted contortions
Dense as the soil spoils bread this wicked and raw son
The meanest, baddest, prediction will prickle and awe some
Dictating the fate of this seed life as clinic abortions
Lips giving often the smell of sweets doomed in net..
..your, past your green lands another illegitimate orphans
Gorgeous...fumes smells of faggot stench, flows well accurate
Thorns nearest death Diptera gnat of the average prick
Rose down laid of law may flies drag on saps a sip
Hells to pay from the plot of this devils advocate
Toxins stimulate for this elixir is such a deal of crack
Such desire never wanted sense trails to feel the track
No motion but still a fact or ates ball consume pools of act..
..is soon to spat, time froze but doing dandy lying a dendrophiliac
Such a lady sits in silence no words when there's food attached
Digest her spoils with endless yawns until some one news dispatched


visions deceive as a hunter awaits,
it's prey unaware and calm in state of mind
patience prevails and the hunter sedates
casting darkness upon a mane of spines

A pitiful plee as a jacket of teeth seal
,supressing the glee found of a free meal
unable to escape from certain demise
venomous sprays as limbs begin to immobilise.
Conciousness fades as your body betrays
imprisoning the brain in a labyrinth of pain,
unknown to the world outside of this hell
so normal yet had this big a secret to tell
life flashes, casting light in the blinding dark
envisioning prophecies of failure so soft.

No light at the end of the tunnel to follow
even if glimpsed the illumination craved
the soul would have to carry a hollow
from limbs in torment which persist to obey.


"Life's errors cry for the merciful beauty that can modulate their isolation into a harmony with the whole." -Rabindranath Tagore

[XM]

Arc has the links.

[Phoenix.]

links

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...en-371905.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...se-372009.html

[Phoenix.]

{awaits feedback} lol

[Mz Diamond]

This was a nice drop I felt that the first verse flowed really well.. And some lines were really complex... and you played around with some wordplay in a few lines... I thought the vocab was solid well done the structure was good and I really enjoyed it... I thought the description and imagery was nice...description if nothing else...it was solid from beginning to end 9/10

The second vere was good... I had to re read it twice before I could actually catch the feel of it... your flow was a tad bit choppy but your complexity made up for it... b/c I knew where you was trying to go.. Vocab was solid and so was your lyrical work... the structure was good.. And again the description really set it off... b/c it was on point...just the flow being choppy wasn't nothing wrong with it... 8.7/10

Overall I was definatly feeling this drop... I thought it was mad creative and yall both executed the topic.. Both of yall vocab was on point and decription I felt that the whole drop was lyrical and full of complexity... and the flow was decent... aint to much bad to say about it... g'd drop 9/10


If yall could RTF on my drop My Thoughts it'd be appreciated

[Uben. Sonned]

Wow.
Xm, You Can Write Beautifully I'll Start By Saying That.
Your Vocabulary Was On Point From The Start All The Way To The End,
Of Your Verse. Very Good Flow In My Honest Opinion IT Just "Flows" Off The Tounge, This Was One OF The Best Drops I've Seen In A While...

Syn(ny Poo )
Hmm, Haven't Seen You In A While, But At Least Your Writing Is Still Decent.
You Guys Obviouslly Came With An A+ Grade Intention.
Your Flow Was, Well A Bit Sketchy In Some Place, But That Happens To Everyone.
Your Vocab Was Good, Your Descriptive Content As Well Was Decent.


OVERAll.
I Must Say That You Both Are Exceptionally Well Talented Writers.
XM, A Collab Is In ORDER.
As Well As You Syn...
Meet Back To Forum For Details...

At Ease..

[Bird904]

I would have never thought to think of a concept like this....really creative. nice

[Cole Delavergne]

Be hard to put that shit on audio ....unless you rap fast as fuck and have a beat in mind


Text wise ..ya fuckn write like a dude i use to know named Flame ...all morbid and the poetry thing in it almost ...vocab .. multis tossed with some mets ..its was cool

i wanna stick my finger in that fly trap so bad right now........ fuckn Internet and there lousy pictures that are pictures and not portals to the real thing....

[AlphaMetric]

man, vocab was good, didnt really flow for me in the beginning but has it went on, it gotten more interesting and by m id point, flow was onpoint till end.... thia was a good drop... keep up man

[XM]

Well you can flow anything if you know how to use your breathe control cuz anything i write i can put to a beat.

But thanx for the feed and all keep'em coming leave links i'll RTF

[AlphaMetric]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ls-372273.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...gy-372094.html

there both good.... havent had much feed in both yet

[XM]

i'll feed one.

and i'll be the judge of if they're good or not lol

[XM]

Upping for feed.

[XM]

uppin.

[P. Mortuus]

Took me a minute to leave comments....anyhow, I liked this piece, more so for the flow and rythm than the concept....anyhow....Malice you had your trademark style of writing here, with the syllable count and similar rhyming and everything...your vocabulary was obviosuly good and made for an interesting choice of words. It was a good verse, though much more in a battle rap style, nothing wrong with that at all as that's where the flow is one of the best. Arc, good to see you back to, a similar yet slightly watered down version of the first verse, the content was good but vocabulary highly contrasted to what the reader was used to having read the previous verse. However, it was a good addition.

Overall, I think you both did good and this was and enjoyable piece. Good work.