Child In Me by SyaNidal

[Steven William]

I wrote this a longgg time ago, recently found it on my hard drive.


Child In Me by SyaNidal

back in the day, section C was to the point and straight
block D was all thug no doctors deliverin in the joint too late
I was fresh with my jordan's, and white boys couldn't jump
rosa parks did the job, now we rush to the back so fuck the fronts
and bust the blunts, crush the kush - lick it and seal the seems
gone from rich, to poor then back - this world is feelin' mean
and I'm stealin dreams, can't outrun the theif and I jog
been slammin' the pavement, like metal when I unsheath the pogs
and then see the fog, when you're grown and responsible
bills, taxes, and debt - trials for our rights are not civil
and this facts a threat, a vote for bush is a vote for death
a rope that's set, to hang this nation by either plaques or necks
and I'd hope to set, a prime example for those optimus-tics
back when we'd plot to diss chicks, so drop the kid shit
I was always in it to win it, all about the competition
now I'm down to one thin slip, tryin to stomp tuition
no longer free, im shackled to familiar faces and roads
where only the stronger see this is the basis bestowed
.. upon us since birth, where section C was to the point
straight edge kids were pressured to roll into the join
and I was too ill to kill, and bein deep was just a term
not a definition of will to where you'd either leap or burn
and this roads to steep to turn back, without flippin' the whip
same one that made a stern crack, dug into your back like a bitch
left it's mark on the sidewalk, whether rubber or chalk
the child in me sees hopscotch, I'm the crip that can't walk
wheelchairs make us stare, but now I'm in one for life
and the child in me is all that's left of the light.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...st-372146.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ep-371841.html

[AlphaMetric]

ya, still need ya links but looks cool, will read the rest and feed after you link, you can check out my piece

[Spoken]

this was a nice decent verse man... the flow wasnt choppy you had your head on top and your thoughts well put together....nothing fell out much no major flaws ya know... you knew what you wanted and the message that you wanted to send out and you got it out Syn... prop son this drop and i do think this is a great verse...thank god you came back cause writers like you inspire...as you tell story's not make belief of someshit thats stale. lmfao.

and bust the blunts, crush the kush - lick it and seal the seems
gone from rich, to poor then back - this world is feelin' mean
and I'm stealin dreams, can't outrun the theif and I jog
been slammin' the pavement, like metal when I unsheath the pogs
and then see the fog, when you're grown and responsible
bills, taxes, and debt - trials for our rights are not civil
and this facts a threat, a vote for bush is a vote for death
a rope that's set, to hang this nation by either plaques or necks
and I'd hope to set, a prime example for those optimus-tics
back when we'd plot to diss chicks, so drop the kid shit
I was always in it to win it, all about the competition
now I'm down to one thin slip, tryin to stomp tuition
no longer free, im shackled to familiar faces and roads
where only the stronger see this is the basis bestowed
.. upon us since birth, where section C was to the point
straight edge kids were pressured to roll into the join
and I was too ill to kill, and bein deep was just a term
not a definition of will to where you'd either leap or burn
and this roads to steep to turn back, without flippin' the whip
same one that made a stern crack, dug into your back like a bitch

My fav. part of this piece the middle just captured my full attention!
Hit this
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...st-372146.html

[Steven William]

bump, bout to grab another link.

[AlphaMetric]

bump, bout to grab another link.

ya can read one of my 2 pieces...

[XM]

Not bad not bad at all, kinda wordy in places but most of the time the syllable count was intact which helped the fluidness of the piece all together, vocabulary and word choice was appealing which helped the imagry and emotion of the piece along with the complexitiy of solid metaphore selections, impressed don't believe i've read one of your pieces before but i'll be sure to keep an eye out for future work. props on the drop for real.

-XM

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ur-372251.html

[Steven William]

to the top.
anyone who feeds and wants a feed on a piece, leave a link I WILL get to it.

[Dekken]

I really liked this verse dude, u put the readers into it pretty well....

I was always in it to win it, all about the competition
now I'm down to one thin slip, tryin to stomp tuition
no longer free, im shackled to familiar faces and roads
where only the stronger see this is the basis bestowed
.. upon us since birth, where section C was to the point
straight edge kids were pressured to roll into the join
and I was too ill to kill, and bein deep was just a term
not a definition of will to where you'd either leap or burn

thats my fav part, theres room for slight improvment,otherwise id say u did a pretty damn good job, I felt this pretty good, props....

Return the feedback...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ck-372590.html

[Spoken Deity]

I dig this man... The flow and imagery were pretty much flawless... I was captivated to read this man. I didnt want to stop.
The story is so beautifully told, without destroying structure and having gay rhymes and what not. I really dig the pieace
that last 3-4 bars I thought were the dopest...
I loved it dude. Hope your continue to drop. Your writing is something all heads need to read and learn from.
Hit my sig on my poem eh?
thx mate