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Thread: Stock Boy Rhyming (Act I) - The Debut

  1. #1
    this buds for you Thrust's Avatar
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    Stock Boy Rhyming (Act I) - The Debut

    Stock Boy Rhyming (Act I) - The Debut


    fresh out of freshman year with debt in hand
    got stories under the belt like a journal in my pants
    enough confidence to lend some to knowledge
    studying whores like it will help pay for college
    back home for summer and leveling shelves
    helping the ladies in deli and chipped ham you’d smell
    bakery bitches up for the stock boy like yeast
    still fool with cashiers even if handling money is cheap
    putting bills on me and Benjamin feels perfect
    get off in checks because my efforts were worth it
    when I tell a bitch to come, she doesn’t run, she splurges
    and I’m wordless… if I didn’t have any product to market
    I got chips on my shoulders like I am the market
    for purchase you could give your area code and seven digits
    my girl left the area… code… I’m ready to hit it
    they love it when I walk by in polo in black Jeans
    recognize the class and gangster of black genes
    but I’m white and the service lady would disagree
    she says I’m blessed like a black man if you know what I mean
    far from average and even further from the mean
    always baked, eyes glazed, smiling like the cookies
    on thin ice with the boss, his girl an employee n he can’t manage her
    got her back… stocked on my jack, just to piss off the manger
    she’s not worth the time like minimum wage
    if my sex life was a book… she’s just a paragraph on a page
    stock boy pimping… betty crocker my shit
    cuz betty bends over… and betty drops in the toilet
    flushed her like I flopped queens of the same suit
    and they don’t think I’ll ever change…always wearing the same suit
    stock boy rhyming ….the series debut.


    and this is still the series debut so let me center in you in the shack
    wear some boots and a hard hat keep away from the swaying axe
    duck from my carcasses bitch, touch them and I’ll kill you
    I’ll put you in that carcass because there’s nowhere else to hang you
    I don’t need to rhyme; I can just spit down right angry
    I’ll shut the fuck up and let the blades that changling in the shack do the talking
    yea we’re going back to the shack where you'll find your family pets
    skinned with mecedes and woven for your family to dress
    so don’t stress the silent E, however, believe it’s still there
    it is me. I am here. and I’ll leave that there for you
    stock boy rhyming… the series debut.
    Last edited by Thrust; July 9th, 2008 at 01:51 AM

  2. #2
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    Re: Stock Boy Rhyming (Act I) - The Debut

    Not bad man, thought it was a bit of flow in some bits, but you had some nice ryhmes. It was a good peice to read too, made me laugh in peices, keep it up man.
    Leave some feedback on "My letter to heaven featuring Killaplaya" if you get time man.
    Peace

  3. #3
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    Re: Stock Boy Rhyming (Act I) - The Debut

    Loved the concept and overall structure. The flow was off only in a few places but a nice drop nonetheless. Stay with it fam.

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    Re: Stock Boy Rhyming (Act I) - The Debut

    Cheers for the feedback man.

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  6. #6
    this buds for you Thrust's Avatar
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    Re: Stock Boy Rhyming (Act I) - The Debut

    up.

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    Re: Stock Boy Rhyming (Act I) - The Debut

    okay, this wasn't bad, felt more poetic for me has i couldnt get quite a flow to it... the imagery was good, rhymes were not bad, all in all, this wasnt bad, keep up man

    check out "Myth oh Mythology"

  8. #8
    this buds for you Thrust's Avatar
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    Re: Stock Boy Rhyming (Act I) - The Debut

    .......

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    Re: Stock Boy Rhyming (Act I) - The Debut

    got stories under the belt like a journal in my pants
    ^^fuckn man whore


    cool drop flowed all the way through for me ... maybe i had the same tempo rocking in my head but i made the switch up with you on the flow everytime.. lyrics kinda deep .. i mean the concept and the str8 forward mets ..cool

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