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Thread: walk tall

  1. #1

    walk tall

    Edit
    Last edited by maddhouse; December 1st, 2012 at 01:23 AM

  2. #2

    Re: walk tall

    uhm??

    flow seemed ok. was very hard to read though coz you connected whole bunches of words for some reason
    some lines seemed too stretched, like they shudda 2 lines instead of one

    you diddnt get much of a point accross either, so u should of maybe added some more emotion or topical thoughts
    wording goes off in a few places and becomes jumbles
    so work on wording your pieces nicely, then shit be cooll

    check out my 1--
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...at-371632.html

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  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Re: walk tall

    Sorry bro but i wasn't really feeling this too much. this kind of stuff is played and gets boring to read after the 4,000th time. flow was iight. the strucuture threw it off. rhymes were ehh it was hard to distinguish where the rhymes were the way you presented ur peice. improvement and elevation is something you should think about. read other peices to get some ideas if u have trouble. keep writing bro.

  4. #4

    Re: walk tall

    Edited
    Last edited by maddhouse; December 1st, 2012 at 01:25 AM

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    456

    Re: walk tall

    Flow was a bit off point, which made it hard to read. Also the way you wrote it made it a bit hard to but keep writing man, youll get better. Leave feedback on "My letter to heaven featuring kilaplaya" when you get time man.
    Peace

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