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Thread: Past of Stone

  1. #1
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    Past of Stone

    Past of Stone

    I would let you know what my life is like
    and what does to me...
    but it's hard to see, without the cause to flee
    so i'm a harbor these emotions till grow out the open
    and i'm stuck, hardly free and once again hoping
    the cost is due...
    cause i'm lost with and blue,
    swimming in the fountain of youth
    with frostbite n' soul torn loose....
    id let cupid tighten this noose...
    but all he does is light the fuse
    and leave the rest up to you,
    through the piles of abuse
    kicked in the mud and used
    but i'm used to this,
    i ain't got shit to prove when i miss
    cause i move with the moon as it rises and sets
    next day my horizons set violet
    as the sky gets lit, my match is burnt
    turn ashen crisp, the fact just hurts
    but actual routine life emerged is just a blurr
    of transit movements of everyday life concur
    i wanna be different, in fact i insist this..
    if i was missing a second chapter id write it with quickness
    but i'm still fighting through the first page
    of this act of sickness, so fuck the math
    i just wanna recline and sit back. till bliss hits
    a new story-line my steps unfold.
    cause i miss the road ad my pasts made of stone
    READ MORE

  2. #2
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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  3. #3

    Re: Past of Stone

    yea decent twitn...


    flow was good and carried thru til the end...emotion was kinda solid
    lacked a lil as far as meaningful concept or message goes

    you had a good couple of imagery touches, and mettaphor attempts were ok
    you had nice n smooth internal rhyming going on, so that was coo
    the piece for me just lacked a bit of intention, and actually having something to talk about

    decent tho

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  4. #4
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    Re: Past of Stone

    ^thanks...

    it's an audio piece...
    READ MORE

  5. #5

    Re: Past of Stone

    I liked it
    specially the

    'Cupid-noose'
    'light the fuse'


    that shit was hot...

    Good read tho, and yes, i could see this as an audio

    7/10

  6. #6
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    Re: Past of Stone

    this *wasn't* bad man, it flowed almost everywhere, maybe a spot or 2 it didnt, but ploy right, there aint much of a story or meaning to it. ovg not bad, feed back plz
    Last edited by AlphaMetric; July 5th, 2008 at 11:30 PM

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Jeluz's Avatar
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    Re: Past of Stone

    if you wrote this as an audio, i can totally see it. i was feeling the flow and really liked the content bro
    JLS=Jeluz aka JClip

  8. #8

    Re: Past of Stone

    reminds me of the old fgee pieces that used to pop up now and then. they would have super simplistic meter and end up spitting out these intensely profound lines that really made you stop and think. this piece was more emotional rather than observational in comparison to his, but it was still pretty cool. but, it did come off as a lot less developed than the majority of your pieces; quickly done? maybe. still had some cool lines too it. i liked the swimming in the fountain of youth line personally. nice piece man.

  9. #9
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    Re: Past of Stone

    ^ yeah man...

    my audio i do quickly...

    otherwise i tend to go out on a lim lyric wise and forget to fucking actually flow...

    thought i would just post up the lyrics to my latest.... heh. then again sometimes i flow well with dope lyrics... so i guess this one was kind of just a more simple rhyme. which audio heads seem to like more... meh.
    READ MORE

  10. #10

    Re: Past of Stone

    oh, i didn't even see that it was for audio until i just looked up at the posts that followed the piece. yeah, makes sense now. hey, if you get a second..

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...do-371733.html

  11. #11
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    Re: Past of Stone

    ^ i don't currently have a sec...

    sorta running out the door then driving out of town for work...

    but pm me the link and i'll remember when i get back haha.
    READ MORE

  12. #12
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Past of Stone

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rs-371774.html
    this is for you...





    nice read, not too insane, but it looks/reads like it would go well over an audio track... more so than just reading it considering we don't know the anunciations or emotions you meant to use to add that extra something to each line. but the lines were written well, seems more personal than anything... you did have a few typos and shit that threw me off but that just shows it was a quick/soulful write up... good shit...



    stay strong *holds fist high*

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