Flock of Birds

[Spoken]

Flock of Birds
-The whisper brigade Pt.1


To You- watching me bleed
A phantom sways,
with the wind cruising through the night.
The eyes of this beast,
bleeds confusion out of every glance
-every stare
I am a scrutiny with parched moments
quite sullen at times because…
…I don’t know myself.
-so I become you

“Lately you have been strange…
…I wanna know- what’s on your mind?

Really!
Is it that noticeable-?
or have I changed color or something,
to attract you split second of attention.

Great I set myself up,
for a played quote that is fucking irritating.

“time is a burden…
…sometimes you got to be late.
-to see the truth of it all”
Please save your rant,
for another day-
Needing that rage to, come out your mouth.
Your thoughts are broke,
two cents?
guess I aint worth it for you.
What am I talking about?
who am I talking to anyways…
…now and days I mouth off to myself.
-becomes quite relax
Collateral damage seizes my thoughts,
squeezing my every emotion dry…
…thirsty for refreshment of reality.
My days darken as they go on,
the more I decide the more…
.
.
I
.
.
Lose
.
.
Myself
.
.
Properly placing my head back on,
to the shoulders that carry the same burden.
My eyes roll in “Whatever”
to show I don’t care.

For me- I can’t do any better
a pendulum swings,
half fast with a chance of me…
...still losing interest.
-of myself appeal
My heart thumps like a bass beat,
a bitch shakes her ass to- as a tease
Psh! tell me something I never knew,
My life replays itself,
and I only can blame myself.
My skin quivers,
leaving my remained bones shaking.
My eyes whirl,
as vomit hurls out my mouth.
behind my lips through the dark tunnel,
is a warm welcoming from my heart.
-which by the way… people say I don’t have
Bold-
Alone-
The pharaoh of dumbsville,
requests a heart in good condition.
shed your tears and leave your emotion
-on the way out
for me to judge the real you.
A casket pre-made is set,
as I dig my grave
There!
someone else lays six feet,
in freedom from this world retribution.
-close your eyes and count to ten

-“the paper I wrote my emotions on,
erased itself from shame…
…knowing that, it will just be crumpled again.”

[Spoken]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=370802

[Spekz.]

Im missing the relevance between piece and title, but thats irrelevant to say the least...Neways the piece itself was quite interesting, incorporating a sense of abstract thought by depicting our everday actions or overused phrasing, then embracing that with a well sought out storyline that did a nice job of transitioning in a abrupt change of thought way, which was nice. Overall, the language, wording was all on point, a few spelling errors, but in my book who cares at this point, for the overall scheme of things, and the way you wrapped up all the different aspects is what matters, really making for a nice piece.

[Soule]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ii-370921.html
Please read the sequal to my first PS HoF, Breaking Concrete II. Thanks man



I promise that this will be Hall of Fame man. It was damn near amazing. Very interesting piece. Your concept was really nice man and I felt the story you were going with a dead on game. Wording was really something I was able to get into it with it also taking ahold of the your flow is caught my attention nicely as well man. Emotion was brilliant, and imagery was good as well. Amazing read, keep it up dude.

[Spoken]

thanks guys and spekz this be a trilogy so you'll understand why its called flock of birds when i put up the second and third part!

[Spoken]

bump please.

[Spoken]

bump!.

[Spoken]

Bump


wow man....HOF here man?!

[Cody Nash]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...at-372014.html
this is for you... read it...
love it... live it...




alright, this was good. I liked the wording, but you also got a few typos that throws peeps off. and I also think the phrase is now a days not, now and days. lol. but other than that, good writing. your vocabulary is always what seems to get me on your pieces. you write well, and you write the type of shit uneducated people need to look up words to understand. it's a good quality. the concept is weird... I'm not sure what to think of it yet, I guess I'd need to wait for more parts to even consider putting this piece down though... seems like you're speaking to a girl, but I can't tell. maybe you're speaking to an imaginary friend or something, who knows. lol... pretty cool read though...


pz...

[Spoken Deity]

I reall enjoyed this... You use abstract thought mixed with pop-words and ideas. I cant explain it or really dig into but it was great.
The story line was brilliant... You didnt have to fuck up your sentence structure to make things work, no what I mean? No yoda sentences pretty much.
The images used were supper clear, easy to understand, but alot of the times, heavy.

I'm stoked to read more from you because this was a fun and read.
If you could hit the paradox link in my sig, I'd appriciate your eyes taking a look at my drop. Thanks bro

[Spoken]

thanks guys ill RTF