Welcome to the Stripping Masquerade

[P. Mortuus]

Welcome to the Stripping Masquerade


Baron P. Mortuus


Be my image as I’m the creator
I’ll be a godly host- join my dance
as I waltz with garlands- I’m a curator
I bury sins so your sinus can trance
out leaving inhibitions out for you
join a whore or 2 strip away your blues
you’re my guest in this act such a craze
this haze called the Stripping Masquerade

Welcome to the act of acts
A musical but one without tracks
it’s isn’t a pantomime but lies are so
That all wear 2 tone shirts
as they all contain 2 toned hearts
and the truth does hurt
so their lies make them sit apart
welcome to the burlesque avenue
we have a show a day to parade
beauties who’ll glaze your eyes too
so come hither get us paid as we do
entertain you!

Welcome to the fringes
of reality & gangbang binges
so leave behind husbands & wife’s
live a lie & let carnal swingers celebrate
let us make up for the celibate who cry
or die alone- be joyous in anonymity
let fetishes be your grifter- so easily
you become the mark as we live well
leaving you hurt- & your marriage to in hell!

[P. Mortuus]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ee-371439.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...me-371435.html

[Perseus]

Both did very near amazing in this piece. I really liked the wording that both used here, especiually my boy Nyce. I thought that neither did better then the other, both stood concistent and carried their own which meshed together perfectly. The concept you two chose to follow with was really nice. And I liked the imagery you guys packed in here, very vivid. Your emotion was really nice as well, brought chills to my spine yet sparckles to my eyes. I really liked this piece, nominated.


Favorite lines from Nyce...

Welcome to the spectacle
Caricatural faces spinning in the joint
Lights be dimmed
Confused on where you are
Burlesque features taking their hold
We may be the ones with make up
But you are now our fool

Favorite lines from baron...

Welcome to the act of acts
A musical but one without tracks
it’s isn’t a pantomime but lies are so
That all wear 2 tone shirts
as they all contain 2 toned hearts
and the truth does hurt
so their lies make them sit apart
welcome to the burlesque avenue
we have a show a day to parade
beauties who’ll glaze your eyes too
so come hither get us paid as we do
entertain you!

[WordPloy]

join a whore or 2 strip away your blues

lol

A painter painting lies
Colours covering the canvas

nice poetry, a poem in itself in fact


we have a show a day to parade
beauties who’ll glaze your eyes too
so come hither get us paid

ill poetry within these lines as well

Welcome to the fringes
of reality & gangbang binges

lol



i liked the feel of this piece, though not neccesarily the stlye....... vocab was good, though i thought a few lines by Baron P were worded a bit uhm?????? difficultly.but other than that the piece worked quite well, throwing-up a good few images, and having a good touch of charisma to it


pz

[P. Mortuus]

Thanks.

[Perseus]

Hit up 'Lost in Failure' by Ntalek and myself.

[P. Mortuus]

More feed please.

[efgeesus]

Welcome to the Stripping Masquerade

Nyce: All Verses to the Left.
Baron P. Mortuus: All verses to the Right.

Welcome to the Stripping Masquerade
Shed all truth and wear your mask
Become a harlequin face
In my cabaret
A fraud in my facade
Clowns all around
In this Circus Act called LIFE
^
Harlequin face, nice image, nice rhymes. Facade is pronounced fas-add.

Be my image as I’m the creator
I’ll be a godly host- join my dance
as I waltz with garlands- I’m a curator
I bury sins so your sinus can trance
out leaving inhibitions out for you < ha very nice way of describing coke
join a whore or 2 strip away your blues
you’re my guest in this act such a craze
this haze called the Stripping Masquerade

Welcome to the show
Fakers in the midst
A painter painting lies
Colours covering the canvas
Monsieur Ringmaster, crank out the whip
Take control of our train
Parading on your semblance of reality
^
cool segway, nice style of writing

Welcome to the act of acts
A musical but one without tracks
it’s isn’t a pantomime but lies are so
That all wear 2 tone shirts
as they all contain 2 toned hearts
and the truth does hurt
so their lies make them sit apart
welcome to the burlesque avenue
we have a show a day to parade
beauties who’ll glaze your eyes too < 'too' didn't really fit or lead onto anything
so come hither get us paid as we do
entertain you!

^
alright, keeps things moving
Welcome to the spectacle
Caricatural faces spinning in the joint
Lights be dimmed
Confused on where you are
Burlesque features taking their hold
We may be the ones with make up
But you are now our fool
^
Another nice piece. The mix up of poetry and rhyming has a cool effect on this overall drop.

Welcome to the fringes
of reality & gangbang binges
so leave behind husbands & wife’s
live a lie & let carnal swingers celebrate
let us make up for the celibate who cry
or die alone- be joyous in anonymity
let fetishes be your grifter- so easily
you become the mark as we live well
leaving you hurt- & your marriage to in hell!

^
the rhymes are starting to slow down and lose the rhythm here, i like the first 4 lines though.

Desires raging
Whores and lies surrounding
Take your pick at whichever prize you want
But take a stab at our toll < toll doesnt explain this at all. expand
Grab a drink and join in
Welcome to the Stripping Masquerade

Overall this worked nice, poetic vibe, some nice imagery, cool concept. i liked the whole circus of sin kinda feel to it.

peace! hit me back

cool drop feed's above.

[Perseus]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...us-371536.html

**cough**

[P. Mortuus]

I'll get to them soon thanks.

[Atti]

this was a pretty cool piece actually. i always wanted to do a concept like this but never quite pulled it together right, and now that i see this right here, it's how i would have most liked it done. 'put on a harlequin face.' aaah, i love lines so simple but powerful like that. my only critisism would have to be the meter. possibly i've just been away far too long and couldn't pick it up, but, i wasn't seeing it really. the line between poetry and open mic was clearly being danced upon, however, it's the meter that really allows this type of poetic content to fly around here. so without it.. not so much. but, could be me. liked the piece though.

[P. Mortuus]

^Thanks for the feed see me I like mixing poetry with OM's it only really can work if you get someone who's good in both areas such as Baron P he's good in poetry and Topical so he can write Topical/Open Mic style along with a touch of poetry if you enjoy shit like this you may be enjoy another piece simliar to this its way old if you want to link look in the Hof thread its called the Devils Masquerade.

[Atti]

i know.. abstanti signatured that style man. too much poetry and not enough om, simply makes it a poem though. i was saying i'm not sure if the open mic aspects of it truly outweighed the poetic aspects.

[P. Mortuus]

^I get what you saying,the poetry was stronger thanks.

[Atti]

and if you'd be so kind..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...do-371733.html