Check in by Wednesday.
Drop verses by Friday.
Leave three links. One must be a vote in the championship match.
You should only have two posts in your thread - your check-in and your verse.
Check in by Wednesday.
Drop verses by Friday.
Leave three links. One must be a vote in the championship match.
You should only have two posts in your thread - your check-in and your verse.
Hence Forward
axis powers
Last edited by Mariah; July 7th, 2008 at 12:29 AM
Wu-Tang Forever
Nothing Was The Same
Head down, pussy poppin' on a handstand.
Hence Forward
axis powers
Cliché?
(That Nigger Shit)
I don’t have much food, but I’ll feed you hustle
Here, the seeds looked up to the G’s; the tough dudes-
to see through the grief of struggle.
They ask when I’ll stop talking on my people’s troubles.
I’ll stop when they bury me deep in ruble.
So, sun, believed I loved you,
cause I will continue to seep this stuff to-
remind them that we don’t all sell crack.
I’ll stop spitting this nigger shit,
when they bring Sean Bell back.
It’s hell, Black, and I refuse to be held back.
I’ll flail raps and I wont disguise my mission.
I spit this nigger shit cause Larry Davis died in prison.
My pride and ambition make me play the drama.
I spit this nigger shit cause Fox called his wife, his “Baby’s Momma.”
Obama let it slide, like: “no doubt, I’m bigger.”
But they don’t know what they’re about to trigger.
I’ll stop spitting this nigger shit,
when they let Nas name an album “Nigger.”
They say “Chris, every other piece is about this.”
But so what? I’ll shout this,
with every breath I breathe out with,
and if you don’t get it, you aint about shit.
So doubt Chris, or say he’s dumbin’, here
cause I’ll spit this nigger shit for FOUR HUNDRED YEARS!
For every slave or oppressed person, succumbed to fears.
I’ll spit this nigger shit until my people are done with tears.
Until we run the sphere, and the cops aren’t on dudes.
Until blacks can sit under ANY FUKCIN' TREE THEY WANT TO!
Until artists aren’t forced to follow the latest rap trends.
Until Bill O’Reilly wakes up with Black skin!!
Until Bush votes for Obama!. THAT’s WHEN!!
And so what if this verse is nothing new.
Cliché? They say: "Chris, I’m tired of it, duke"
And I reply, "you don’t think I’m tired of it, too?. ."
I wish it didn’t need to be said.
Last edited by Chris Black; July 4th, 2008 at 11:28 PM
Hence Forward
axis powers
Nothing's Sacred
http://www.yossimilo.com/artists/ada...ages/ab-02.jpg
The sun sets as the cardboard sky waits
While we undress as an art form like paint
I'm a disgrace in my own self, let me out
There is no space and no help for me now
I yell for the clouds, but I only reach mist
The earth is round; my life is a unique twist
So see this, be lost - take it and be gone
I went to bed...it was the seat you sleep on
The last speech won awards - that scene in the backseat of a Ford
While being ignored never struck me with a bad string in it's chord
Dreaming of more than leather and sweat; in a sense ready for sex
As I expect the worst and connect with what I have left to regret
I'll get in the lake and repent - I used to pray collecting diamonds
Saving respect just trying to enslave the haze and direct this iris
Elect the cries of paperback memories on the road less traveled
As you expose the scandal like flesh without clothes or sandals
Loathe the vandals that show fake faces as you're seen innocent
Growing demands your attention, so infinite, but no spurt lives in it
No hurt unfinished, the business I've started and lived with for ages
Now looks to fill chapters of my heart - and he's missing the pages
Hitting the stage is one thing, but I can't play cold as damaged ice
The lust of a customer is satisfied, but he won't pay the average price
The sacrifice made to be here was a fault and mistake for both of us
Unfolding trust to a male troll in succubus form escapes emotionless
There's nothing great that's holding us, but God and he can't exist
When I have the list of things done to me by a man with a massive fist
And he'd gladly sit here and tell you the truth, he held and loved free
But he'll be lost in fear when shown proof of the suffering he caused me
He hardly knew me, just followed me around the beach, no surpirse
I wanted to leave, my friends were gone - and you asked to give me a ride
So I took the chance and you got lucky...I was burned and wronged
The tables turned on me and I realized my cluelessness turned you on
It was the perfect stronghold, a car; I had no way out, it all worked
But it got worse, the security was there, yet it was just locked doors
Mocked for the pleas, even though I had said please in more ways
Than anyone could sure say and to no avail - it was you having your way
It's a difficult task and nothing was right
But my miserable mask has nothing to hide
It's rushing to fight the coward you are
I can't punish the time, it's up to your heart
So every re-run can just spark fire and rage
As we both embark with desire and fate
Compile the hate - I can't be fixing this further
You "killed" me without admitting to murder
Last edited by Mariah; July 5th, 2008 at 02:06 AM
Wu-Tang Forever
Nothing Was The Same
Hmm...
Real good from both...
I was gonna give sarcasm a try, but neither one of you deserve it.
S'just, from Chris...we've seen this type of rant/rhyme before.
And from Mariah, same thing...seen you write about lost, sad, hopeless peeps.
Alot.
I dunno...I liked both, Chris had that dope bitchiness about him...
Mariah threw a nice hidden story into her shit...looked like it was just gonna be an outpouring of soul again, but nice lead into what seems to be a kidnapping/possible rape/murder.
Didn't see that coming right off...
For being a bit more original, for having a story, not just a message...
Vote: Mariah
No offense, Chris...you angry young man, you.
Walk this way!!!! walk this way. Walk this way!!!! walk this way.
oh, sorry, forgot I was voting on a battle here. Anyway, yeah.. basically just did not like Chris' shit all that much. . . don't know. The concept was decent. I liked the wording, but when I think of Topical or Sacred Scriptures. I think and expect a DOPE storyline. You did not have that, and for that. I hate you... not really, but almost. Anyhow, it had potential seeing as you're a talented writer and all.. but I was not feeling what you brought to the table. Maybe you underestimated Mariah, maybe you just didn't feel it this week. I don't know. Sorry.
Mariah, how are you sweet thing? lol, just kidding. No homo. Anyways, I liked this piece.. liked the storyline a hell of a lot more then what you were facing against. And I felt that your rhymescheme was a lot more fluent then his. That's it, no more feed. I am in a house filled with people.. so my brain is shutting down. Just felt like voting on the contender match up. Peace hot thang.
Vote/ Mariah Carrie... I mean Mariah Noelle.
Lol @ no homo to a female...anyways...
Chris Black-
I Must Say Even Though I Like Reading Your Work...Something Diddn't Seem Right With This Week. Your Vocabulary Was Decent Could've Been Better But We All Go Through Off Days. The Concept Was A Little Bit Rough, It Could've Been Brushed Up Way Better.
Mariah-
Hmm You Seem To Have A Nack For Writing Similar Topicals But You Always Put A Twist In Them Which Is What I'm Looking For When Reading.
Your Concept Seemed Used Before But Like I Said The Little Twist Saved You.
Your Vocabulary Was Good, And Your Rhymescheme Was Better.
Overall I Say You Took This. For Just Having An Overall Better Writing.
Vote-Mariah
Last edited by Uben. Sonned; July 6th, 2008 at 12:17 AM Reason: Accidently Pushed Button...
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.Major League Gaming.
XBOX 360 GT: COF Nightmare
this here seemed like an off week from writers lately ya know...
Chris- this verse i have seen this style from you alot like what BTK....but this was a bit new like what you said in it and what not but.... it felt like not intact as a whole like you just wasnted it out there and be done with it man... but i did like i talot cause the story behind it and what not was great....but it just felt a step out of place a bit.
Mariah- samething like BTK said....this was kinda aww!...but the flow of things kinda went up then down....your emotion was there and i felt like your piece rolled off kinda played but still held its own for readers to understand...
V/Mariah...
No disrespect chris!
ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE
I hate to kick you while you're down my man, but some of these kats got it right...others..just disregard their opinion...
Chris - You're execution of the topic was perfection...you really did nail it...the message was clear and you showed good emotion...however, I didn't start to really dig it until the end....the first half was weak until you started getting into a much clearer message of your piece...the way this turned out was like...you vs. BTK in WoP, remember that? it seems like you kinda half assed it, and if you didn't then you just didn't try hard enough...and by half assed...I mean you had incorrect spelling, short lines...looks like you was in a rush...
Mariah - Same as for Chris...I didn't feel your shit until the 2nd half...you're rhyming too much to write a story....sometimes it was so much so that I had to go back and re-read a line because I got caught in the flow of the sentence instead of the what the sentence was trying to actually say...the story itself was good....lines were stretched but that's happened to everyone...I felt kinda gay reading the first half...maybe that's why I didn't like it...
either way...
BreakDown:
Originality - Mariah
Metaphors - Tie
Story - Mariah
Enjoyment - Tie
Emotion - Chris
Overall - Mariah
Vote - Mariah, I got it alot closer than some I guess
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
This was a nice battle, I was feeling both verses. However, I'm seeing this a little differently than some of these dudes. Chris' verse was right on point to me, from start to finish strong with not a word out of place. I love that dope economic wording, it's refreshing to see a cat who really says just what he wants in a dope scheme and cuts down on that rhyme for the sake of it detail. but, word, people saying Chris' piece wasn't up to his usual standard because it didn't contain a storyline, but it's just the small things a writer does that makes a topic work or not.. and Chris, choosing 'Cliche,' and writing a verse that both talked about cliches while also BEING a cliche because we've seen that shit so many times is dope.. because the writer's voice knows it's like that.. and to me, that's a complex take. Mariah had some sick ass rhyming and poetic concepts, a very well-rounded piece, but it wasn't as effective to me because it wasn't as certain of what it wanted to be so it wasn't as complete. The story part kicks into effect half way through, and it's cool, but not enough to save the piece from having a very general poetic feel to me. I really liked it a lot and admired the writing, but Chris was better to me
v- Chris
I got this pretty close, umm, Chris, I dug ur piece a lot more than others I think a lot of to the tune that Meters said, it was really executed well for that topic "Cliche" and I thought it was a pretty damned good rant... The thing is it almost seemed like you copped out by picking that topic so you could write about something you're comfortable writing about, ya know? I'm not gonna be like everyone and yell for fresh ideas and story twists, hell, I don't even care for stories as much as messages, so I think the piece was dope. I think the piece started a bit slow, for me, the schemes were kind of basic at times, mostly written like punches in a battle rap, but it ended really, really well and hammered the point home... IMO, a good piece.
Mariah - ur really trying here, and I commend the writing quality and the flow you used, it was impeccable, but also I think sometimes your schemes tend to really force you into a specific style of writing that often takes you on tangents... I think with you rhyming the first part of the next line with the last part of the finished couplet of the last line kind of directs each line you write, like, the start of each line is almost predetermined by the finish of the one before it, leaving you with little to no available choices in your writing. Almost too overbearing on the rhyme scheme. I think the piece finished really well and was a good write, those last eight lines is what put you over the top I had this pretty even but that was a damn good ending, and I have to go for the writing quality since I bitch about ppl overlooking that sometimes... like... you might have liked one piece more than the other, but I notice the little things and your writing was just technically better and more complex, so it was more difficult for you to write your piece than it was for Chris to write his.
Vote Mariah... but, I dunno, it is really close, I liked Chris' verse personally it was just a little too much overkill on what I hear from him, funny he even says that in his verse because he knows we're gonna say that, but still, the redundancy gets some point reduction.
A.I.
"She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."
Chris, I liked this a lot... what other people don't see is that it's NOT your random rant that you usually write... it's more than that. It's saying that you'll CONTINUE to write these random rants... it's giving power to your pieces to come that have any relation to this by stating why you write this way. I've never really seen something like this outside an audio rhyme, but this was some good shit... deep. the bush vote for obama line killed it... I dunno... this just seemed like it was straight from the SOUL man... great read, flow was dope... just all of it...
Mariah, I liked it... you took time on this, the mechanics of it were great, the point was solid... it was kind've a cool concept... I can't really say that I've seen similar shit but I feel like I have... dunno... something just didn't sit well with me after I was done reading it but I can't tell you what it was... it's complicated.. lol. but I did like the shit, it was flowin' well and you could tell you took the time like I said... good read...
this is real close like everyone said...
dunno... I think I'm leaning more toward the spit from the heart though...
vote Chris Black, by a black ball hair...
Posting Rules
